I used to be thankful that I was trying to make the world a better place, trying to make people feel appreciated and loved. I wanted to lead by example. But at night, I would crumble, feeling like a failure.
I was a people-pleaser. I put everyone and everything else before me. It was “the right thing to do.” I was a shell. I lost my purpose, sense of self and self-worth. When people didn’t receive my intentions well, I took it personally. I let it define me.
I was confused when people weren’t thankful, but eventually, I came to understand that thankfulness is born within.
I committed to reevaluating my life. First, I took a deep look at myself. It was painful, scary, and, surprisingly, healing. I was screaming for the help I was constantly trying to give others. I realized I needed to gift myself the love I was offering the world around me.
I worried I wouldn’t have anything left to give. I struggled to trust the process, to be selfish. I learned when I put myself first, I was capable of giving so much more. I’d been living for the approval of others, but when I loved myself fully, I trusted my heart. And from that place, I could return to serving. This time, already full of love.