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Sweatpants & Humor | Twas The Night Before Christmas: Parenting Edition

By Jon Ziegler

T’was the night before Christmas and all through our home,
The children kept stirring, and wanting to roam.

The stockings were still in the boxes downstairs,
No presents were wrapped, dad’s pulling his hair.

The children were hyper, and out of their heads,
And simply refused to go to their beds.

Though mom did her best at calming down dad,
The later it got, the more he got mad.

Then with the crash, of his fist on the wall,
Dad screamed, “GO TO BED, OR NO PRESENTS AT ALL!”

Kids ran from the living room, and started to scatter,
In fear that their butt cheeks, might soon be in tatters.

Away to their bedrooms, they flew like a flash,
then off went mom, to get the toy stash.

Scotch Tape, and paper and sparkly bow,
The snip of the scissors, to work they would go.

Til midnight they wrapped, sipped glasses of wine,
And grumbled that bedtime, had not been at nine.

More angry dad got, as hours ticked by,
Mom’s patience were spent, she started to cry.

“I’LL BURN THE WHOLE PILE! NO PRESENTS THIS YEAR!”
Dad screamed when some tape got stuck to his ear.

At last. they were done, all presents were wrapped,
They might not be perfect, but who gives a crap.

Two hours of sleep, is all they would get,
Til on their bed jumped, the children and pets.

Complaining, they rose and went down to the tree,
And watched presents unwrap, kids squealing with glee.

All the money and time, the night without rest
was worth all the fuss to make this day best.

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