You don’t choose anxiety; it chooses you. A four year old doesn’t choose to pee herself because she’s too self-conscious to ask to go to the bathroom. A seven year old doesn’t stay up all night after hearing a sermon at church, unable to sleep because she’s convinced she will never be able to confess all her sins properly and she knows she’s going to hell. A 12-year old doesn’t collect strands of her mother’s hair and save it in a pretty foiled box that used to hold a Christmas present because she can’t stop thinking about her mother’s mortality and these are her silvery talismans. A 19-year old doesn’t skip college classes – not because she doesn’t like the subject or because she’s not smart enough, but because she’s 10 minutes late and she cannot bear the thought of other people’s eyes on her as she walks to her seat. A 30-year old doesn’t long to wake up in the night with chest pains and shortness of breath that feel like what she imagines a heart attack must feel like, except it passes and she feels foolish and exhausted afterwards. A 40-year old hates it that places like the bank and the post office trigger dread and avoidance for no logical reason at all.
Anxiety chose me, but I chose to change my relationship with it. I imagined my anxiety as an amorphous blob. When I tried in my primitive way to sketch it, it came out looking like a vaguely worried potato, which was kind of perfect, actually. It was clear we were going to have to live together, so I decided to make my Anxiety Blob something cuddly. One day, one of my amazing Sweatpants & Coffee team members, Shandle Blaha, contacted her friend at Fleece Menagerie and asked her to bring my sketch to life. Anxiety Blob was born into the world.
Anxiety Blob and I woke up with racing thoughts about: chemo, tumors, the world going to hell in a handbasket, back to school shopping, birthday party planning, and missing earbuds. So, at 4 a.m. we started another gratitude list: – good drugs – visit from the BFF – salted caramel ice cream – a sis who also happens to be a massage therapist – all those squats we did presurgery so now we can get in and out of bed safely – ridiculously supportive tribe – good medical team – a family who hovers protectively and affectionately like a team of golden retrievers – wet wipes, q-tips, and moisturizer – the fact that we *might* be starting to like kale. A little.
It’s been a challenging journey for me, these past few months, and I’ve never needed my Anxiety Blob more. I cuddle him. I cry into him. He witnesses me when I can’t sleep or when I’m angry at EVERYTHING or when all I can manage is to lay in bed like a piece of boiled asparagus; limp and unresponsive. He helps me to remember that anxious is how I feel, not who I am. Be kind to yourself. Cuddle your fears. And know that you are not alone.
We’re proud to partner with Wear Your Label, a brand dedicated to eradicating the stigma associated with mental illness, for this giveaway.
GIVEAWAY!! Our friends @sweatpantsandcoffee created the amazing Anxiety Blob & we’re giving one of these cuties away with Anxiety Awareness pieces from our collection 🙂 one winner will be drawn on Friday afternoon to receive: – 1 Anxiety Blob – 1 Anxiety Awareness Gemstone Bracelet – 1 Anxiety Awareness Aquamarine Necklace – 1 Anxiety Awareness Thread Bracelet TO ENTER: 1. Follow @wearyourlabel and @sweatpantsandcoffee 2. Like this video 🙂 3. Tag 2 friends in the comments who would LOVE the Anxiety Blob!
A video posted by Wear Your Label™ (@wearyourlabel) on