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Ohhhhhhhhh. That’s what they meant by LOTUS. I was hoping we’d be going back to the pishtaco spa to see more scenes of Sam doing yoga in a tank top. Bummer. Anyway, in this episode we see what happens when we have an even more controversial president than the one we will in January. Comparisons? Nah. I wouldn’t touch that with a ten-foot pitchfork.

Four Fed

So, now the fab four are donning Fed suits? Adorable. Agent Zappa…I mean…Crowley wearing his badge on his lapel was an interesting touch, even as it annoyed Dean. Annoyed? He must not know about Cas’ latest alias. “Agent Beyoncé” would probably make him whip out the angel blade.

Hell House

When the boys figure out that Lucifer is wearing the Archbishop of Saint Louis they go to investigate the archdiocese. As they check the place out they are confronted with the dead staff that tried to exorcise Lucifer from their beloved leader, and we’re reminded that this show is supposed to scare us a little. While there was remarkably little blood (and, you know, beheadings) there was still a bit of a creepy vibe, and I dug it. I loves my boys when they aren’t afraid of the big bads. Even if I am.

El Presidente

So, the uber Christian President Jeffrey Rooney accepted Lucifer into his vessel in order to bring a spiritual awakening to the country. Oops. Once again, I found the non Sam/Dean/Castiel/Crowley/Rowena scenes to go on a little too long (I wonder if the show is trying to give the boys a bit of a break when it comes to screen time, considering they now have young families) but the thought of Lucifer taking over the leader of the free world is an interesting concept. Lucifer discovering sex, and love, and parenthood was almost pitiable. It seemed like that part was less of a power grab and more of struggle to find happiness.

De-Bunkered

Anyone else think that Dean lowering the warding of the Bunker to allow Crowley entrance may not be a great idea? I mean, if the King of Hell can breach it, why couldn’t lesser demons and the like? I do still love the idea of them working together and using the Hunt Cave as their home base. I wonder, though, what happens to their relationship with Crowley when all of this is over? Dean seems mostly okay with working with him but Sam and Cas decidedly do not. Does the enemy of my enemy and thus my friend go back to just being…my enemy? Only time will tell.

A Woman Scorned

Poor Rowena. Her fiancé turned out to be a pauper trying to swindle her out of her nonexistent fortune. Of course, when Crowley shows (and calls her Mother) said fiancé is mightily confused and then, thanks to a snap of Crowley’s fingers, exploded. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me,” Rowena gasps and Crowley gives her a little smirk. Might Crowley be on the road to maternal forgiveness? Again, only time will tell.

Tuning In

Angel radio overcomes Cas, letting him know that there has been a massive surge in celestial energy and that can’t possibly be good. Turns out? It’s not! There is a little Nephilim on the way via Lucifer and the President’s (secret affair) aide Kelly. “Lucifer?” Dean says. “I didn’t know he was dating.” (Ha!) Apparently, Lucifer’s Nephilim is not the slightly unstable but reasonably angelic Nephilim I wrote about in my fan fiction (shut up) but an abomination that cannot be born unto the earth. Uh oh. Sounds like Chuck should have sat Luci down for “the talk.”

At Your Secret Service

Of course, Lucifer isn’t stupid. Unlike the many who underestimate Sam and Dean, he does not, and he sends the head of his secret service personal detail to find them and eliminate them. Fortunately, Sam made the literal iffy call of contacting the British Men of Letters, and that brought Mr. Ketch and his grenade launcher to their rescue. And oh, what an entrance! His car, pulling up slowly to “Take Five” by Brubeck before the ball of fire and the command to Cas to wipe their memories. I’m intrigued by Mr. Ketch, especially now that he’s not under the command to kill the boys. That said, I remember Lady Bevell (ugh) calling him a monster, so I’m wary. Which leads to more intrigue. Curiouser and curiouser.

Marvelous Toys

Turns out Mr. Ketch has been instructed to garner a yes on collaboration with the boys and he definitely has the means to intrigue them via the junk in his trunk. Dean’s approval of the grenade launcher is just the beginning—according to Mr. Ketch the British MoL engineers have spent years blending sorcery and technology. They have a vamp killer that irradiates them, making their own blood lethal to them. “Cool,” says Sam. And YEAH IT IS! He also has a magic egg that works on those possessed that, as a gesture of trust, he lends the boys to try to catch Luci before the president pardons Charles Manson. Yeah. Really.

Kelly, Green

Crowley snatches Kelly from the Presidential retreat and the boys give her their version of “the talk.” Of course, she thinks what they’re saying is impossible. “Well, to be fair, so is teleporting, but TA DA!” Dean says with a grin and man, even in times of stress he’s just so cute. “Who are you people?” Kelly asks. “I’m a witch,” says Rowena, “He’s an angel…” (Cas bows a little.) “And I’m the King of Hell,” Crowley adds. “Oh God,” Kelly says. “No, actually, he left,” Cas adds, trying to be helpful and failing adorably. It is sweet, earnest Sam (and okay, a burning bible, I guess) that convince Kelly she’s knocked up with Satan’s love child and she agrees to help them. She has Lucifer meet her at a motel where the fab five (hello, Rowena!) wait to trap Lucifer’s essence and put him back in the cage. All they need now is one angel who can stop the secret service (check) one magic egg and a sigil to cast Lucifer out (check) and one witchy spell to send him back to the cage (and check!) “This isn’t over, Sam!” Luci shouts as he is purged. “Go to hell!” Sam replies, awesomely, and Rowena finishes the spell, easy peasy-ish. And the president is even alive! Happy ending, right? But wait…

Federal Offense

Cas manages to spirit Kelly away, aiming to stop her little Nephilim before it starts, but she slips him, calling him and telling him she can’t terminate the pregnancy—that whatever is growing inside her, she is its mother and she needs to protect her child. Oh, and Sam and Dean? Not so much with the accolades of heroism. In fact? They are chained up (mmmmmm…wait…what?) and on their way to prison for attempting to assassinate the President of the United States. And we’re left to wonder—how the hell can they possibly get out of this one? Guess we’ll find out…after the winter hellatus. ARGH!!!!

Don’t forget y’all—when Supernatural returns it will be airing one hour earlier, Thursday, January 26th at 8:00 PM. See you there!

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