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Sweatpants & TV | Versailles, Season 1, Episode 4, “The Road”

By Leslie Mahady

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This week, Versailles has NO new visitors. Word has gotten out that nobles are being killed on the road to Versailles. So no one wants to visit. Louis gets a head wound in a “hunting accident.” Then he negotiates a ceasefire in the war. He either wants to prevent his brother’s death or his brother’s glory.

While Beatrice awaits the arrival of her family credentials, Sophie starts to suspect her mom is full of it. Maybe Chevalier and mom’s plans for Sophie aren’t in her best interest. Chevalier frames one of Henriette’s lady in waiting to make room for sweet Sophie.

Then Chevalier’s musician boy toy is killed during their triste in the garden. A masked noble demands Chevalier do as he says, and he’ll be rewarded with Phillipe’s ascension to the throne.

On a lighter note, Louis takes notice of his next mistress, Madame de Montespan. Poor pious Louise will be relieved to be done with the King’s attention. She wants to head to a convent to repent. Louis stomps out on her, frustrated. And Louis is tired of Henriette’s troubles. He walks away from her too, frustrated. Does he feel guilty about sleeping with his brother’s wife? He even tells Henriette that “Life is more than love. Marriage is more than duty.”

Our Favorite moments:

Louis’ Bad Mood

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Louis is hurt in a “hunting accident” when he gets word of his friends killed on the road to Versailles. Bontemps reads the news of Phillipe’s victory and bravery on the battlefield. Louis becomes irritable. “Enough.” Jealous much? He’s feeling trapped in his own country. Louis is furious that his brother is off successfully defending France, while the king’s men can’t defend one road out of Paris. And to add injury to insult, Louis apparently can’t even shoot a gun without hurting himself.

Louis’ Good Mood

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She calls him glorious, if she may be so bold. Isn’t everyone encouraged to be that bold with Louis? Madame de Montespan finally makes her move on Louis, by accidentally (deliberately) tripping after he walks past. I love this scene because of Louis’s transformation afterward. He’s so easily manipulated.

And I love that Beatrice is ever so twisted up over Louis’ attention to Montespan. More twisted than the ringlets hanging from her own up-do.

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Beatrice keeps insisting the king gave her own daughter a lingering glance. History says Beatrice is wrong about that one. Sophie isn’t the one who will get the king’s lingering glances.

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Fabien’s Choice

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Fabien finds Louis’ goddaughter, Charlotte still alive in the field. She escaped from the gunmen, but is fatally wounded. He declines to tell anyone – even the king – that she was found, allowing everyone to believe she may be alive. He surmises that the killer had to be a noble on horseback, and by leaving Charlotte’s death unannounced, the killers may make a mistake.

When he finally tells the king, Louis is furious, but accepts the explanation. Fabien earns Louis’ trust again by being uncompromising. Even though the king clearly wants to hear the lie of an easy death, to relieve his conscience, Fabien makes certain the king knows that his goddaughter suffered for a long time.

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Louis is mad at Fabien for not having men protecting the road. But Bontemps was the one who told Fabien to go against the king’s order and guard the King instead. Why didn’t Fabien rat on Bontemps?

Sophie’s Choice

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Poor Sophie is growing tired of her mother and Chevalier’s attempts to catch the king’s eye. She’s more interested in Benoit, the construction worker. She is well aware that something is wrong with the family papers. I hope she finds happiness.

Phabulous Phillipe’s Fun

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This week was stressful on all fronts and kind of boring. It was boring because Phillipe barely appeared until the last scene. Louis arrives at the battlefield announcing to Phillipe that he has negotiated a ceasefire due to a (insert air quotes) threat on Phillipe’s life. Sure, sure, brother. Phillipe sees right through this. Will the ceasefire be announced AFTER Louis returns from the battlefield? To suck up all of Phillipe’s glory?

Phillipe recounts a childhood story about Louis starting a food fight, that turned into a pissing contest, literally. “There we were rolling around on the floor, pissing on each other…You flicked the porridge. But guess who got the blame? You pissed on your brother. But I pissed on the king!” Whoa. These guys have major issues.

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The war will be over in a few days. Louis insists Phillipe come with him to avoid the last battle and the “mercenaries sent to kill him.” But Phillipe refuses. “In the field there are no kings. No nobles, no peasants. Every man is equal, fighting to survive another day. Tomorrow I will have more in common with the enemy than with my brother.” “They mean to seek you out and kill you,” pleads Louis. “Well then, I better wear something fun. Or they might not know who I am!” Slams Phillipe, grabbing his wife’s blue and white plumage.

Then he plants a good one on his wife and storms away to lead the charge, but not before a quick check of his fabulousness in a mirror. Ha! THAT’s how you end a show and a pissing match.

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Next week we’ll see what ramifications Phillipe’s snit fit has with Louis. Will Fabien catch the roadside killer? And will Chevalier betray the royal family?

Will Fabien start an affair with the desperate Beatrice to catch the killers? They weren’t first on her mind when Fabien showed his concern for her dead neighbors.

Leslie Gayle

Leslie is a one time CPA, wife and mom of twins. She’s an over thinker who loves karate, thunder, and travel. Her sweatpants are yoga pants and she takes her coffee with milk.

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