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Sweatpants & TV | Versailles, Season 2, Episode 3 – “Who Will Watch the Watchmen?”

By Leslie Gayle

After Louis run in with Montespan’s fortune teller last week, Louis asked Bontemps to watch out of Louis coming under undue influence of any woman. This week on Versailles, Louis’s self-doubt grows, evidenced by a dream where he imagines Montespan is actually King, not himself.

Does he remember his dream or is he playing with everyone around him? Because later he admonishes poor Bontemps for judging the King for buying a frivolous necklace for his mistress. He claims he is not under her spell. Who knows if poor Bontemps had any thought in his head other than, “My Lord, this is ugly wallpaper!”

Montespan and her baby survived the birth, but she still has more interest in keeping an eye on Louis than on her child. Montespan’s friend arrives to be the child’s governess. And Louis’ eye wanders to Montespan’s Lady in Waiting, Delphine. Montespan dismisses her on the spot.

Louis checks on the weapons to be used against the Dutch. They are less than stellar, not firing far enough to do any damage. At least they have found a way around housing the soldiers on church land. A noble, with lands closer to the battle, has not arrived at court. He claims to be ill, despite evidence to the contrary. So Louis is taking all this noble’s grain and using his lands. And finally, Louis seeks out his gardener for battle advice, but can’t find him. Louis seems a little concerned. What’s he going to do when they find his therapist dead?

To exert his power during this rut, Louis insists on a Bedding Ceremony for Philippe and Palatine. The ceremony does not go as the Princess had hoped. She is left assuming she’ll be sent back to her father when she doesn’t produce children for her homosexual husband. I’m not too happy with Philippe this episode. He’s being unusually cruel to everyone. Louis deserves it. Chevalier deserves it. But the Princess didn’t ask for any of this nonsense.

The Queen continues to work with her priest to bring morality to the court and get Montespan removed as mistress. This week she appeals to the morals of Montespan’s friends and preys upon Montespan’s fears of Louis’ wandering eye. I’m kind of proud of her for being so cold hearted. Turnabout is fair play on Montespan. But I worry about this unknown Delphine’s fate.

When Montespan spirals into a funk, Louis confesses to Montespan that he’s trying to make her jealous. He must like keeping Bontemps and Fabien worried about his favor too.

My Favorite Moments:

Chevalier and Philippe

Philippe is unusually cool towards Chevalier this episode. Chevalier is abusing his position, expecting Philippe to foot the bill for Chevalier’s lavish clothes and lifestyle, despite having a new wife to support. Chevalier is also using more of the drugs banned in court. He is seemingly jealous over the marriage, despite Philippe having been married to Henriette before. Upon learning about the Bedding Ceremony, Chevalier becomes a little possessive of Philippe.

Chevalier and Palatine

Chevalier tells Sophie to explain the official regulations and he’ll explain all the “other regulations”. I wonder what his “others” are, no doubt to stay as far away from his Philippe as possible. He’s horrible to the Princess, insulting her hat. (It is the wrong color for her outfit, but it isn’t horrible. I personally think he’s worried that her blond curls will make Philippe forget all about Chevalier. He tries shocking her over the Bedding Ceremony. Luckily Sophie, who has been assigned as Palatine’s Lady in Waiting, is very kind to the Princess.

Fabien and Sophie

Louis forces a marriage between Sophie and Cassel. The King wants Sophie to keep an eye on Cassel, as Fabien has had her spying on the nobles. I hate this scene because Sophie doesn’t deserve this. Louis knows from Montespan who Cassel is and how he treats women. But I love Fabien’s reaction. As scary as Fabien can be, he clearly didn’t know Louis’ plans and he’s genuinely worried about sweet Sophie. He knows he can’t question the King and implores her to consider this horrid situation an honor in service to the King. He should know, considering how many slights the King has given him despite his constant loyalty. His words console her a little.

Philippe and Palatine

Philippe can’t decide on which clothes he wants to wear to his Bedding Ceremony. He loves them all. Finally he has an epiphany of just the right outfit. He arrives in court in a dress again to embarrass his brother, the King. I think Palatine is holding up rather well considering the circumstances. Once it is time to consummate the marriage, Philippe checks Chevalier’s possessiveness at the door, and brushes him away.

Fabien and Claudine

Here’s my favorite scene of the week. I’ve been waiting for this one since last season. Fabien has banned the drug traders from court and is working to find out how drugs get into the Palace. He’s unsuccessful in beating a confession out of Gaston, who was arrested for the murders. Fabien visits Claudine, late at night, to learn the ingredients of a mixture of powders. To me, that seems like something that could have waited for morning.

Claudine teases him about his distrust of women and says women aren’t as strong as men but can use potions and their mind, especially to protect their children. And they both move in for that first kiss…but DAMMIT! Damn Fabien’s deductive brain to hell! His bloodhound genes win out, and he remembers Gaston’s insight that “only women use poison” to kill. This along with Claudine’s comments, give Fabien the answer. He runs off to the murder’s quarters, before finishing any business with Claudine. Then the murderer, Gaston’s mother, stabs him. So Fabien being stabbed isn’t so great. But damn was he a tease in that scene with Claudine!

Will Fabien survive? That knife went straight his chest! We saw the gardener die, but not Fabien. I suspect he could actually be a Steampunk robot without a heart. Will Louis start an affair with Montespan’s Lady in Waiting? Will Sophie learn to love her horrible husband? And will Chevalier give up on Philippe?

Tune in next week on Ovation TV to find out!

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Leslie Gayle

Leslie is a one time CPA, wife and mom of twins. She’s an over thinker who loves karate, thunder, and travel. Her sweatpants are yoga pants and she takes her coffee with milk.

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