We all know Mr. Hirst is a cruel god. He writes the words and our favorite characters live with the consequences, or more often lived just long enough to regret their words. Here are some whoppers that Vikings lived to regret, and a few I think they will regret.
One of the first regrettable statements was Rollo saying “yes” to Jarl Borge’s war with Horik. It set up years of mistrust and cold drunken nights.
At the opening of Season 3, everyone was hopping to get out of Kattegat on an adventure. Floki insists he is so happy that he feels “trapped”. Don’t worry Floki, no one is happy for long in Mr. Hirst’s universe. I’m sure Floki regrets tempting the gods by the end of Season Three and all throughout Season Four.
“My wife has the most beautiful breasts. Let me show them to you,” said Lagertha’s second husband, after having her beaten. He had a pretty merciful death by Lagertha’s standards.
Quite a few regrettable comments involve Lagertha. When she leaves Bjorn with Ragnar after helping take back Kattegat, she and Aslaug have a heart to heart. Aslaug tells Lagertha, “I will always be in your debt. And Lagertha responds with “The debt is already paid.”
Does Aslaug remember her debt? Did Lagertha write it off, assuming Ragnar would stay in power? Based on previews, they both will regret this exchange. As Lagertha said, “The future is open. Trust in the gods.” The gods are open to at least one female ruler in Kattegat.
Kwenthrith assures her brother that they will be reinstated to the Mercian throne. When he balks at Ecbert’s motives she responds with one I never saw coming:
Nope, they can’t. Her brother didn’t make it out of that episode and she didn’t make it out of Season 4.
Here’s another one for Lagertha to regret. Rollo suggests Lagertha shouldn’t have left her earldom with Kalf to raid with Ragnar.
Lagertha’s pretty confident Rollo is wrong. But she still came home to no earldom.
Let’s follow this scene up with words that will make any Viking fans cringe now. Even though he is sharing the earldom, Lagertha promised to kill Kalf one day. He feels pretty confident she’s forgotten all that, when he pops the question.
Let’s face it, Kalf had peaked. He’s an earl with the girl of his dreams pregnant. Poor Kalf, “Marry me,” seems to be the black widow’s trigger phrase.
Here’s one to consider going forward. When Rollo insists killing Count Odo in battle would be cowardly, Gisla corrects him:
Yes, it IS what a Viking would say, because he’s a VIKING! Rollo just finished telling her he hoped to dance naked on the beach, something his PAGAN prophet predicted. That is something you’ll have to learn, Gisla. Something you’ll certainly have to learn.
The goriest regrettable words are from Jarl Borge. He thinks he’s clever when the seer tells him his future is an eagle. “An eagle is a good sign!” Sure, except when it’s not.
You’d think the blood eagle would be the most regrettable comment. But I think the worst comes from Ragnar. Early in Season One, Rollo says he won’t sail West with Ragnar unless they are equals. Ragnar says they will always be equals because they are brothers. Then when Ragnar becomes earl…
Yup. Ragnar has yet to live that one down.
And that brings us full circle to now. Let’s see whose words betray them going forward in Season 4B.
Tomorrow we’ll do a quick look back at favorite fan gifs!