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Top 5 Holiday-Themed Treats from Junk Banter

Thoughtfully pre-screened junk food for your holiday snacking needs

There are many, many candidates for what exactly makes the holidays the most wonderful time of the year. You’ve got chestnuts roasting on an open fire, reindeer that can fly, and mistletoe providing a convenient excuse to kiss literally anyone you want to. While exchanging gifts with loved ones ranks a close second, stuffing your face with holiday treats is what we look forward to most at Junk Banter.

As you peruse the aisles of your local retailer this season, you’ll be bombarded with the words “limited edition” at every turn. It’s easy to get overwhelmed– you’ve got peppermint this, sugar cookie that, and everything under the sun dipped in chocolate. One option is to buy all of it! But we already know your New Year’s Resolution is to drop a few pounds, so it’s important to choose wisely.

How on Earth do you decide what’s worthy of a purchase? We’ve got you covered. Remove one decision off your plate by putting our Top 5 recommendations onto your plate. We promise a more joyous holiday season will result. And because this is Sweatpants & Coffee, after all, we’ve got a special coffee recommendation to help get you through those busy days of holiday shopping!

5) Cracker Jack Holiday Sugar Cookie Popcorn – When you’re snuggled up on the couch watching 24 straight hours of A Christmas Story or whatever your favorite holiday movie may be (it’s A Christmas Story), you’re going to instinctively crave popcorn. This year, reach for Cracker Jack Holiday Sugar Cookie Popcorn for something different and awesome. This popcorn carries a thick snow white glaze and some red and green sprinkles, making it all kinds of merry. Imagine your traditional caramel popcorn, but replace caramel with a sweet vanilla. It’s a delicious holiday treat that will have you singing Christmas carols to your dog without even realizing it. Also, it’s popcorn flavored with cookies. Need we say more?

Top 5 Holiday Treats - Cracker Jack Holiday Sugar Cookie

4) Blue Bunny Holi-Doodle Christmas Cookie Ice Cream – Once you stop giggling from saying “Holi-doodle,” drive to the nearest Walmart Supercenter and buy Blue Bunny’s Holi-doodle Christmas Cookie Ice Cream immediately. Allow us to read you the description because this one sells itself: “Sugar Cookie Flavored Ice Cream with Swirls of Green Buttercream Frosting and Cinnamon Graham Revel with Red Sprinkles and Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough.” Can you say “Merry Christmas?” We don’t have any idea what a revel is but we don’t care – it’s life-changing. The ice cream base tastes exactly like sugar cookies that were slathered with buttercream. There’s huge chunks of delicious snickerdoodle cookie dough throughout, as well as enough Christmas colors to give you a seizure. This ice cream will make you glad that Santa Claus is fake because he would definitely eat all of it out of your freezer while delivering presents.

Top 5 Holiday Treats -Blue Bunny Holi-doodle Christmas Cookie Ice Cream

3) Gingerbread Oreos – A classic holiday flavor, gingerbread has been somewhat overlooked this year in the face of new seasonal trends. Leave it to the folks at Nabisco to remind us how special gingerbread can be. Available exclusively at Target, Gingerbread Oreos use the standard Golden Oreo wafer and a gingerbread flavored cream. The wafer delivers that sweet sugar while the cream adds a pleasant cinnamon and mild ginger to complete this delicious gingerbread puzzle. Spoiler alert: the picture on the puzzle is one of you eating way too many Gingerbread Oreos. These are impossible to resist. If you want to know what it feels like to have thousands of tiny gingerbread men dancing on your tongue, pick up some Gingerbread Oreos before they disappear. Then go pick up some more.

Gingerbread Oreos

2) Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy! – The most delicious defense against blistering cold winters is hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows. Few things are better than sipping hot chocolate by the fireplace in your sweatpants or, in an ideal world, no pants at all. Nabisco successfully captures this wonderful feeling with their limited edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy! cookies. The chocolate cookie base is a nice balance of sweet & salty, the mini-marshmallows add a wonderful crunchy contrast, and the creamy chocolate center made us want to quit our jobs, cancel our gym memberships, and eat Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy! without pants for the rest of our lives. Heat these cookies up for 8-10 seconds to reach complete and utter euphoria.

Top 5 Holiday Treats - Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy!

1) Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch – The most fun cereal ever created, Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is the perfect holiday treat. These little pieces of toasted Heaven are covered in a fine Christmas snowfall and taste of all things vanilla and frosted sugar cookie. They have a biscuity, shortbread-like element as well. Just saying “Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch” out loud will transform your ears into heavy-duty magnets that stretch your lips into an enormous grin that might last the entire day. Plus, LOOK AT THOSE ADORABLE PIECES OF CEREAL WITH CHRISTMAS HATS ON! If smiling is your favorite, pick up Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch before we buy all the boxes on the planet.

Top 5 Holiday Treats - Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch

Holiday Coffee Recommendation – Though it may have one of the most pretentious names in existence, don’t sleep on the Starbucks Chestnut Praline Latte. We knew chestnuts roasted well on an open fire, but it turns out they roast extremely well with coffee too. This seasonal beverage tastes like the classic vanilla latte but with giant doses of sweet, nutty, and spicy flavors added to it. The chestnut and praline flavors aren’t overwhelming; they blend together smoothly. This drink basically tastes exactly like Christmas. Throw on some whipped cream and praline topping and your stressful day of holiday shopping suddenly became enjoyable. Happy hunting and happy holidays!

Top 5 Holiday Treats - Starbucks Red Cup (Chestnut Praline Latte) Top 5 Holiday Treats - Chestnut Praline Latte (open)

 

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Junk Banter is the lovechild of two junk food enthusiasts (Chris B and Jaclyn M) who share a similar passion for craft beer. These two psychopaths have made it their mission to try every new junk food and every new craft beer ever released in the entire universe. Their blog captures their journey towards inevitable failure, delivering junk food and beer reviews, industry news, and other related nonsense along the way. Their blog is written with an emphasis on comedy, but it’s probably not that funny.

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