Me: What do you want to do tonight?
Wife: Fall asleep on the couch.
Me: It's Cinco de Mayo.
Wife: Get tipsy and fall asleep on the couch.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 5, 2017
I don't need Cinco De Mayo to stuff my face full of tacos and enchiladas. But it does help a bit with the normal shame I feel after.
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) May 5, 2017
#CincoDeMayo is all people can taco about 😜🌮😬
— Hunter Pence (@hunterpence) May 5, 2017
It's Cinco de Mayo so I should drink all the tequila because it's what Meredith Grey would do
— Twenty Struggles (@twentystruggles) May 5, 2017
I'm in Paris and the bars here have Cinco de Mayo parties going on and I'm like "y'all realize this is a holiday about you losing right?"
— Calvin (@calvinstowell) May 5, 2017
There’s no walk of shame like getting caught leaving a Chinese restaurant on Cinco de Mayo…
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) May 5, 2017
Cinco de Mayo isn't an excuse to drink margaritas because I don't NEED an excuse to drink margaritas. Imma do that anyway.
— Blanket Jackson (@steenfox) May 5, 2017
I'm sorry, I can't hear your political views about Cinco de Mayo over the sound of my margarita blending
— VladdieMaddie (@MadisonMontalto) May 5, 2017
Cinco de Mayo is when all the single white women in your office go out for margaritas after work and loudly call each other "hooker."
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 5, 2017
Every time a drunk white person wearing a sombrero tries to speak Spanish on Cinco De Mayo, an angel loses its wings.
Okay, it was me.
— 🍷Wine Honey 🐝 (@Wine_Honey1) May 5, 2017
Ideal date: we go get tacos. I eat 13. You are very impressed and not at all grossed out.
— Sarcasm (@TheFunnyTeens) May 5, 2017
Anyone else crave tacos and margaritas like…always?
— Mackenzie Lytle (@mackenzielytle_) May 3, 2017
Husband: Tacos again?
Me [mouth full]: It's Cinco de Mayo week.
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) May 2, 2017
Me: My avocado still isn't ripe and I'm making tacos tonight. Now what do I do?
Therapist: Where did you get my home phone number?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 1, 2017
Happy #CincodeMayo! Or as I call it, the best reason to have a margarita before noon.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) May 5, 2017