Everything about today is chill but I think it’s my coffee talking
— Chelsey (@chelseyamaro) May 24, 2016
You were my cup of tea but I drink coffee now pic.twitter.com/qz2NupbkVG
— PHI (@phiphibb) May 24, 2016
I can’t decide if I need an XL coffee, a hug, 8 shots of vodka, 826 chicken nuggets, or 2 months of sleep.
— JENNA MARBLES! (@ItsJennaMarbles) May 24, 2016
The guy who works at ur local coffee shop pic.twitter.com/7QUKBOiET2
— Doug The Pug (@itsdougthepug) May 24, 2016
My travel mug is just putting a straw into the coffee pot and walking away with it.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) May 24, 2016
My one year old dances every time I grind coffee beans. I wonder if this is her introduction to industrial music. pic.twitter.com/lz1alfp15S
— Justin Pierre (@jcpmcs) May 24, 2016
There’s not enough coffee in the world to make me comfortable with being awake right now.
— Nash Nashy (@NASHterpiece) May 24, 2016
She ran out of coffee. #5WordEulogy
— Bossy Pants Media (@BossyPantsMedia) May 23, 2016
“I finally know what it’s like to lose a loved one.” I whisper pouring out extra coffee as everyone’s idea of “Room for cream” is different.
— Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47) May 23, 2016
Hallowed be thy beans.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.
Deliver me from wanting to do a murder.
— Heather Hogan (@hhoagie) May 23, 2016
If my house was on fire, the THING I’d definitely pick up first?
My coffee mug.
That stuff is more important than my birth certificate.
— Sorabh Pant (@hankypanty) May 23, 2016
It's hard for me to listen to people talk about the so-called "tragedies" in their lives after the barista put too much milk in my coffee.
— Stephen Fishbach (@stephenfishbach) May 22, 2016
“I’ll marry a person who knows how I take my tea, coffee, and alcohol, and knows when to make which.”
— Relatable Poems (@itslifethought) May 22, 2016
Oh please, like you've never had coffee and pizza for breakfast before.
— oh please (@ohpeetie) May 22, 2016
It's funny when people say, "Good for you" when I tell them I don't drink coffee, as if I don't drink enough vodka to kill a small horse.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 22, 2016