Episode two, ya’ll! In which we see who become the new roommates in the HuntCave, we meet two new hunters (and lose the wrong one), and we hear Dean’s thoughts about what he did for love. Here are my ten favorite moments from “Devil May Care.”

 Supernatural.S09E02.Junk

1.  “He’s the junk in my trunk.”

Yeah. I know I mentioned this line last time. So what? It’s one of the best lines on SPN. Ever. What a joy to see Crowley again. Our boys have the King of Hell locked up tight, first in the back of Dean’s baby and then in the HuntCave dungeon. He’s delightfully surly and uncooperative and totally cocky. The boys tell him that he is going to tell them the name of every demon on earth, and Crowley basically laughs in their faces. So Sam and Dean tell him they’re going to torture him the best way they can: they’re going to take his audience away. Crowley’s in solitary, with nothing to do but think about his recent, brief case of humanity. This is going to get interesting.

2.  “Long live the queen.”

Abaddon. She’s ba-a-ack. She took a literal blood bath and rose to declare her regime change. She’s out for the Winchesters, and collects up hunters to use as bait to get their attention. Apparently she’s still pretty pissed at Sam for burning her alive. I was relatively lukewarm about Abaddon last season, I confess. Not anymore. Alaina Huffman is sexier, more confident, and tougher than ever. She looks and sounds great, and she is wearing the title of Big Bad like Miss America’s sash. Long may she reign.

 

3.  Grandma Demon

Crossroads Granny, a potential for Abaddon’s new army, says it all: “I closed 72 deals last year. Kids love grandma.” Shudder. Short-lived but badass. Abaddon was unimpressed, but I dug her. In my dream alternate universe exists a golden years SPN, where it’s Rufus and Bobby as the hunting twosome instead of Sam and Dean, and she’s the female version of Crowley. I would watch the crap out of that.

 Supernatural.S09E02.KevinSolo

4.  “I’m Kevin Frickin’ Solo!”

The boys investigate the scene of a meatsuit robbery after Abaddon claims a trio of soldiers for her own personal demon infantry. When an MP calls the boys out, they need Kevin to act as an impromptu Bobby (aka: their faux supervisor.) At first, Kevin bungles it—badly—by telling the MP he’s the boss and his name is Kevin….Solo. She’s not buying it hardcore, but Kevin recovers quickly. He finds compromising photos of the MP doing a naked body shot in Cabo. “How did you find that?” she asks. “‘Cause I’m Kevin frickin’ Solo….I suggest you give my guys anything they want,” he says with a snarl. Best. Comeback. EVER! The prophet Kevin Tran for the win. He even gets the hardass MP to call him sir.

 

5.  The Prophet versus The King

So okay. Dean is unimpressed when Kevin tried to shoot his poison arrow into his heart (“You’re a crappy shot, Katniss.”) And yeah, Kevin started off the episode pretty shaky (and pretty constipated.) But he got his crap together pretty damned quick when the boys brought his arch enemy—and the demon he thinks murdered his mother—into the HuntCave dungeon. The boys have told Kevin to stay away from Crowley, guaranteeing he won’t. Kevin is angry—and you wouldn’t like Kevin when he’s angry. Crowley taunts him and teases him, but Kevin fails to rise to it until he mentions Linda Tran, and the possibility that she is alive (please writers: do me a solid and let this be true!). Then Kevin goes all out, shouting his fury and socking Crowley in the kisser for all he’s worth. Crowley does, however, manage to plant doubt in Kevin’s mind about the Winchesters and what happens to those they align with. He reminds Kevin there is always another prophet in the wings.

6.  The Shootout at Chemical Corral

Sam takes Dean to a chemical spill wasteland on a rescue mission. Dean’s first concern? Protecting his junk, of course. He manages to get it together to try to save Abaddon’s hunter bounty: Irv and Tracy. Irv’s a great guy the boys have known for ages. Tracy is a sullen little puke who hates Sam for opening the gates of hell and releasing the demon that killed her family five years ago. (Time to move on, Trace. Side note: she reminds me of Kennedy on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is not a good thing.) Sadly, Irv doesn’t make it. Sadly, Tracy does. Sam feels sorry and guilty about Tracy’s loss. Thankfully, Dean reminds Tracy that she better learn who the real monsters are, showing that he truly has forgiven Sam for all of his past mistakes.

Supernatural s9E2 MixedSignals

7.  “Are we gonna fight or make out? ‘Cause I’m gettin’ real mixed signals here…”

Dean and Abaddon get into it, and the tension between them is delicious. She calls him lover, and tells him how much she appreciates his body, his obedience and his suicidal stupidity. He scowls and sasses her with his gorgeous mouth, from the ground, on his knees. She is lusciously seductive as she tells him he will give her Crowley or she will possess him and make him do things he won’t be able to live with. Dean looks at her with heat and disgust and, perhaps, a little bit of awe. The chemistry between them is white hot, and, speaking of white hot, it is the perfect foreplay for the best part of the show, where….

 Supernatural.S09E02.wings

8.  SAMZEKIEL KICKS DEMON ASS!

Sam gets got, by three possessed soldiers intent on ripping him apart. Before they can, though? Ezekiel takes control in a scene so magnificent you’ll need to watch it over and over again. Sam’s eyes glow, he tosses the demons aside like they were fluttering fall leaves, and he stands, angel song keening, in a blast of brilliance. He thrusts his shoulders back a little and unfurls his broken wings (it’s okay to sing the Mister Mr. song here: Jared Padalecki himself suggested it on Twitter) and smites the demons to kingdom come. The VFX team should be commended. The wings of an injured angel look just as they should—tattered and torn, with a few loose feathers floating to the ground. It is majestic and perfect and everything you could want in a reveal.

9.  “I’m gonna call you Zeke…”

(How cute was Samzekiel’s face when Dean said that line? The cutest, I say.) Dean gives Ezekiel a new nickname and then he and Zeke talk it out. Zeke says that Sam was going to be killed and, thus, he protected him. He’s even going to keep Sam in the dark—which is why he over-killed the demons with Ruby’s knife. Dean confesses that he knows if this all goes belly up it is his fault, and Ezekiel reminds him: he is in Sam, and he knows what Sam knows. He knows that what Dean did, he did out of love. Dean admits that he doesn’t do love…and…love, but that he is trusting Zeke, and hopes he’s a good guy. “I am,” says Ezekiel, “but I suppose that is what a bad guy would say.” Fair point. “Dean Winchester, you are doing the right thing,” says Zeke, and we all hope he is. Sam comes to and sees Dean in a room full of dead demons, and Dean tells Sam that he basically killed them with the power of being awesome. Adorably, Sam responds that Dean is awesome, with the unabashed pride that only a little brother can muster.

10.  Dean’s Family Don’t End with Blood

A bruised and bloody Crowley finally gives up some of the goods: a couple of minor demons for hunting that he doesn’t care about anyway. He’ll do this because he is having so much fun winding up his new toy—Kevin Tran. And apparently his toying with Kevin has worked, because Kev is out. Done. Dean, in a touching speech, convinces him to stay in the safety of the HuntCave, not because he is useful, but because he is family. “After all the crap we’ve been through, after all the good that you’ve done? Man, if you don’t think we’d die for you? I don’t know what to tell you. Because you, me, Sam and Cas—we are all we’ve got.” Tears. Just…tears. And as we end, with Kevin deciding to stay and Sam confessing he feels better and happier than he has in ages, we realize with a scared and heavy heart just what Dean is willing to do to keep his little found family together.

Where is it all headed, folks? Will Inner Sam and Zeke fight it out for Sam’s meatsuit? Will Kevin ever find the badass Mrs. Tran alive? Will Crowley give in to his softer side? Will Abaddon ever get to wear Dean in the evening gown competition? And where in the hell is Castiel? I guess we’ll learn more in the next episode, “I’m No Angel.” See you there.

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