For a very long time – until recently, actually, I believed that I had to live without regret. That loving the person I am now and the life I’ve built meant I couldn’t regret any of the pain or the bad choices or the suffering. Because every decision and experience led me to this moment, and this is where I belong.

That’s beautiful, right? And it feels true because it’s such a lovely way to look at the past. If it’s true for you, I respect that. And I kindly invite you to skip this week’s gratitude practice. No hard feelings. Let’s meet back here in the blanket fort next week.

For the rest of you, I have a confession: not only do I find it impossible to live a life without regret, I think it’s total freaking bullshit. OF COURSE I have regrets! Huge, monstrous, uncountable regrets. Opportunities missed. Words that can’t be unsaid. Cringeworthy behavior. Nearly-forgotten decisions that wake me, sweating, from a deep sleep when the memories work their way up to the surface.  And pain? Hell no, I’m not grateful for the pain. Not the self-inflicted kind, nor the kind that’s been visited upon me like a curse flung from a vengeful wizard.

I’m smarter, kinder, more compassionate, and (I hope) a better person than I was when I was younger. Maybe even than I was just a few years ago. But I don’t for one second think that the only way I could have gotten here was by the twisty road I happened to take.

However.

I am grateful for what the pain leaves behind. After a forest fire comes new growth. After an eruption, the lava cools and new land is formed. In the wake of destruction, I’m left with a newfound empathy, space to bear witness, and the knowledge of what I can survive. Eventually, I see a way forward.

Some questions to get you in the grateful space:

  • What is one good thing you learned?
  • What do you love about yourself in the midst of your struggle?
  • How are you different now?

Get printable full-size image here.

Until next week,

Sign up to receive exclusive offers, fun content, and updates from Nanea!

Your confirmation email will arrive shortly after you sign up. Don't forget to check your spam or junk folder!

We keep your data private and share your data only with third parties that make this service possible. Read our full Privacy Policy here.

Facebook Comments

comments