It’s fun to talk like a pirate, but it’s even more fun to drink like one. This rum-based punch will have you ready for swash-buckling adventures on the high seas!

First, get out a big bowl. Huge. Enormous. Preferably old and creepy looking. Antique silver would be perfect. Put that in a bigger container filled with dry ice. I like old wood.

Drunken Pirate Punch cocktail with Kraken rum

Pour in the following in the punch bowl:

  • 2 parts dark rum (Kraken preferred due to the amazing flavors and aromas)
  • 2 parts white rum
  • 2 parts triple sec
  • 2 parts peach brandy
  • 2 parts blue curaçao
  • 2 parts mango juice
  • 2 parts orange juice
  • 1 parts key lime juice
  • 1 parts agave nectar

Now, keep a container nearby to pour water on top of the dry ice so you can make an eerie, cold smoke with your devious, swarthy punch!


Charlotte Smith is an esthetician licensed in Tennessee and Georgia. She’s married to a lumberjack version of Deadpool, is obsessed with huskies, is straight up in quarter-life crisis mode, and loves pretty much anything that could be considered creepy.

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