I have a confession to make.
I may have an art supply problem. Okay, I totally have an art supply problem. Can you blame me? Why do they have to be so damn wonderful?
My tiny humans have their bucket of coloring supplies (markers, pens, colored pencils, etc.) and their stack of coloring books. I, in turn, have my own as well. My supply pile is four times the size of theirs and far more expensive. Don’t judge, you know yours is too. How can you resist a good pen? You know the one. It glides across the page. The tip is chiseled and pristine. It is poetry in motion. It is fucking beautiful.
I got excited when I realized that August 2nd is National Coloring Book Day. In honor of this momentous occasion, I present my top choices for Adult Coloring Books. These books may (probably) contain mature content and profanity. If that isn’t your jam – I suggest you keep scrolling. If you love a good curse word (I sure as hell do) and you need to blow off some steam, this list is for you.
To start, I present a few by my current favorite illustrator, Theo Nicole Lorenze.
Theo rocks my face off. Their work is witty, original, and pee-your-pants funny.
I found the first book while looking for a gift for a friend. I ended up making the friend a card and kept this one for myself:
- Unicorns Are Jerks by Theo Nicole Lorenze
This chronicles the daily life of Unicorns and their annoying habits. Such habits include: texting in theaters, farting in elevators, and generally being a Grade A jerkface.
- Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace: A Body-Positive Coloring Book by Theo Nicole Lorenze
This one is one of my all time favorites. Theo did caricatures of their friends as Space Super Heroes. This one most definitely does not disappoint.
- Mer World Problems: a coloring book documenting hardships under the sea by Theo Nicole Lorenze
This piece of wonderfulness illustrates some of the hard knock day-to-day living of our mythical neighbors in the sea. I heard the wifi sucks. It must be rough.
- The Robot’s Guide to Love: a coloring book of romantic advice by Theo Nicole Lorenze
This how-to manual for love is the go-to gift this Christmas for the single robot in your life.
No list would be complete without this next one.
- Calm the F*ck Down: An Irreverent Adult Coloring Book (Irreverent Book Series, Volume 1 By Sasha O’hara
This piece of majestic workmanship is the perfect end to craptastic day. It includes such phrases as: “Home is where the Vodka is.”
Sasha also brings us the next one on our list.
6. Cheer the F*ck Up by Sasha O’Hara.
This little beauty includes such phrases as: “bite the ass of life”, “let’s get weird,” and my personal favorite: “Peace and quiet, I like that shit.” It is hard to stay mad at with this one around.
7. Memos to Shitty People: A Delightful & Vulgar Adult Coloring Book by James Alexander.
James understands our need to vent about crappy coworkers and people who cut in line at the grocery store. Come jump in with the rest of us. The water is warm.
8. Sweary Coloring Book: Swear Words Relaxation for Adults with Mandalas & Paisley Designs (Swear Word Adult Coloring Book, Volume 1) by James Alexander.
Are you looking for a more traditional coloring experience spiced up with your favorite swear words? This one is for you.
Fun fact: It’s also published in German.
9. Color the 90’s: The Ultimate 90’s Coloring Book for Adults by Outrageous Katie.
Nostalgia is the name of the game with this one. 90’s icons such as: Bill Nye the Science Guy, N64s, Furbys (those are scary little suckers), and Urkle are all over this one.
- The Hipster Coloring Book For Adults: You’ve Probably Never Colored It (Sacred Mandala Designs and Patterns Coloring Books for Adults, Volume 34) by Lilt Kids Coloring Books
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An Instagram
This one is going on my Amazon wish list right now.
11.Thrill Murray (coloring book) by Mike Coley
This one is for the discerning Bill Murray fan – you can color Bill in a wide array of his famous roles. I cracked up when Amazon asked me if I wanted to add this one to a baby registry. The answer to that is “yes please!” Every baby needs a Bill Murray coloring book. How could they not?
And last but most definitely not least:
12. The Official A Game of Thrones Coloring Book: An Adult Coloring Book (A Song of Ice and Fire) by George R.R. Martin.
I can’t know for sure, but the chances are good that everyone dies.
You now have a perfect excuse to buy those gel pens on Amazon. It’s National Coloring Book Day. It’s the patriotic thing to do. Do it for your country.
What are your favorite coloring supplies and books?
Share in the comments below what makes your art supply-loving heart go pitter pat.
I’d also love to see your coloring projects. You can tag Sweatpants & Coffee on instagram @sweatpantsandcoffee and me specifically at @palegrayink.
Now go color!