Okay. Oh. Kay. This episode is a bit of a doozy. This show is really going for it now. Lucky us!


The Search for RoboDoc

The Mason Four is still out looking for their womenfolk. Ben and Tom do some scouting to find Braveheart McSkitter and Ben asks if they will return to Charleston once RoboDoc and Creepy Baby are found. Tom’s not sure. He asks Ben if he wants to return for Denny. He should. She’s adorable. Ben ducks the question, saying he thinks it would be hard for creepy baby to manage being part alien in a human world. And he should know. Tom hasn’t thought that far ahead—he just wants to get to Mechanicsville and find the ladies.

They discuss Braveheart. Tom says he seems different from RedEye McSkitter, and Ben agrees. Apparently RedEye was more emo or something, and Braveheart is more of a jock. Anyway, none of that matters, because Braveheart scurries to meet them and he is badly injured. He warns the Masons that “they” are coming, and then bites it. Guess you feel all rude talking about him behind his back now, huh Mason boys?

The next morning, Wee Matt and No Longer Evil Hal reminisce about camping over the worst looking oatmeal ever. I am only able to pay attention because Wee Matt’s extremely distracting N’SYNC-meets-Tonto hair is covered up with a cap. They talk about the rural region they are in and how it is so boring even the aliens are ignoring it, and maybe it would be a good place to move after they round up their girls. Tom and Ben ride in and interrupt them—mechs and skitters are moving in so they are movin’ out.


As they ride on, they are ambushed by masked humans, looking for sweet, sweet canned goods. The Masons try to fight it to no avail, and in the end lose their…everything. Tom’s just surprised the bandits haven’t heard of Charleston. “You mean, you couldn’t hear my speeches from here?” he thinks. “What a loss for you.” Anyway, the bandits ride off, leaving the Masons hell bent on getting their stuff back.

The bandits turn out to be the Pickett family (episode title alert!) and they are led by Duane Pickett, who is played by Christopher Heyerdahl (better known as one of the Volturi in the Twilight movies and, most important, Alastair on Supernatural. Side Note? Heyerdahl has a great accent that is so different from those other two parts and I am suitably impressed. Anyway, I digress.) Duane has two sons and a daughter (who also had a bit part on Supernatural, it must be said) and a brother living with him in the farmhouse he grew up in. They only ambush strangers in an attempt to stay alive. This matters not to the Masons, who just want their loot back. The Mason boys ambush the Picketts in return, and everyone does well except for Hal, who almost gets stabbed by the uncle. What stops him, you may ask? WEE MATT SHOOTS THE UNCLE, DUDE! This is what happens when you let kids skip school. And give them rifles.


While Wee Matt wears his “BUSTED!” face, Ben tried to save the uncle, Gil. Tom and Duane talk it out in the basement, comparing their similarities, talking about how they are just dudes with kids trying to survive and whatever. We are all supposed to see that Duane and Tom are just the same guy in different circumstances and doesn’t that make you think. I think. Of course, Tom is braver and longer-winded, so he is the better man, I guess.

Ben and one of the sons bond over their lost mothers. Sadly, the Pickett boy’s mom was killed by people, not aliens. Wee Matt asks, “You saw her die?” Way to bring the happy, Wee Matt. It’s all very touching and sad. Ben tries to sell the kid on Charleston, which they make sound like a rubble filled utopia.

In the midst of all the heart to hearting,Hal brings the kid down to tell Duane that Uncle Gil is dying. Duane wants to see him, and after securing his word that he won’t try anything, Tom ridiculously agrees to bring the guy who tried to shoot them upstairs to the guy who tried to stab them. As he lies dying, Gil reminds Duane of the gun under the bed with his eyes, and then the advantage flips back to the Picketts. Jeez. This thing is more back and forth than Wimbledon.

Duane brings them all back to the basement to shoot them in front of his own kids. The daughter, of course, reminds us all that women are soft marshmallows of tears, and she tries to beg her dad to stop. Wimp. You’re no Not Karen, lady Pickett. Anyway, Tom tells the guy to shoot him face to face, and I wonder how many times Tom is going to dare someone/thing to kill him before someone/thing finally shrugs and says, “Okay.” In the end, the daughter grabs her dad’s arm and then the advantage flips AGAIN. Tom talks the one remaining Pickett with a gun down. Point Mason. Pickett clutches his children to him, telling them they done good, and Tom is slapped in the face with their humanity. Oh, Tom. Poor wrestles-with-his-conscious, Tom.

The Mason boys move on, riding off to the rescue. Until Ben stops them, saying Mega-Mechs and skitters are on the trail. They are heading right for the Picketts. “That’s tough luck,” says Hal, sadly and wisely, thinking there is no way their dad is going to go back to help. But oh, no. Of course, Tom is going back to save them. Because that’s what Tom Mason is all about, people. Hal is the only smart one here, reminding everyone that they were going to shoot them and that Anne and Lexie are waiting. But Tom won’t be deterred from saving every single person on earth. He sends the boys ahead to Mechanicsville to find the ladies, and rides back like Paul Revere to shout “The Mega-Mechs are coming! The Mega-Mechs are coming!”

When Tom arrives, the Pickett line is cleared. Not one backwards bohunk in sight. Tom goes outside and is immediately set upon by skitters, and not the friendly ones. “All right! Bring it, you bastards!” he shouts, because it has been almost a full day since he taunted a murderer. Three skitters approach him and he aims, until all of a sudden a Mega-Mech shines his light right in Tom’s face. And we end on Tom’s wild eyes and frantic mind, realizing that maybe he should have listened to Hal for once.

Don’t Go Back to PopeVille

In Charleston, Pope and Lyle are lamenting the fact that they have all this paper money and nowhere to spend it. Do I have to say it Pope? Mo’ money, mo’ problems. Pope wishes they had someone or something to trade with. Something? Like what? A Mega-Mech with a vending machine? Their discussion is interrupted by Weaver and some soldiers, who have come to tow Pope’s bar somewhere else. Pope is pissed enough to quote Lord Acton and talk about how absolute power corrupts absolutely (but I am sure he heard it from some Michael Bay movie.) Before they can argue too much more, Cochise wanders in, exhausted, carrying President Hathaway. Someone get that Half Fishhead a RedBull.

After the President is brought to the infirmary, Anthony shows Weaver that Pope has led a union style picket line (epsiode title alert!) and now none of his guys will work on the Volm project or indeed do any mechanical work of any sort. Pope is leading a quiet rebellion, it seems, and he wants Weaver to let him do it. The whole discussion ends with the line “The truth is one squirrely bitch” and now I have found what I want most to embroider on a pillow.

Pope gathers the blue-collars and tries to rile them up. Of course, Weaver comes in an puts the kibosh on that. He talks the people down and arrests Pope on civil disobediences charges. Pope tells him, “You have the authority, sir, but you do not have the right.” And that is actually all manner of hot. I see Anthony’s point now.

Weaver visits Pope in prison. They…wait for it…talk and bond. Ugh. Also? Pope uses the word ersatz. Guess he traded some of that paper money for a Word a Day calendar. Weaver tells Pope he needs his help. He thinks the whole Volm weapon thing is gonna go bad, and he will need Pope at some point. Of course, he can’t tell Pope exactly why. He releases Pope back into the wild.

Pope leaves prison and bumps into Not Karen. I mean, Maggie. Pope tries to warn Maggie, like a “friend.” He reminds her of their “old times” again. You know, the ones where he let her be raped by his former gang members. Pope lamely says if he had known he would have done something about it, and also Maggie did nothing when Hal was evil. I’m sorry, what? Those things compare? Not even close, Pope. Unsurprisingly, Maggie refuses Pope’s offer of help and truth, though she does appear to be thinking about what he says about how stuff gonna be going down.

Pope bumps into Weaver and they chat. Pope wants to remind Weaver that he thinks Marina sucks, and imply that the death of the President means she has all the power again. Hint, hint. They compare Charleston to a Roman Palace (those eventually became rubble, too, so I guess that fits) and warn each other to watch their backs.

The Presidents Two

President Hathaway is laid up in the infirmary. He flirts a little with Marina, causing Weaver to puff up a little. Sweet modest Cochise tells them he used his own body to save the president. Aw. That’s kind of romantic. Marina puts Cochise on the spot about the Volm project, but he won’t give up any info. He also informs her that if she thinks Evil Hal was the only Espheni spy she’s kidding herself. Hathaway is totally on Cochise’s side, but Weaver tries to impress Marina by saying they as humans should be in on what the weapon does. The President says he wants to see Cochise’s weapon (not a euphemism) and Cochise agrees.

The President inspects the Volm weapon, and Cochise explains the Espheni grid system and how the Volm want to use the weapon to destroy it. Apparently, the grid has the unfortunate side effect of irradiating every organic life form on Earth within three months. Except the Espheni and their slaves, of course. Apparently, Cochise told Tom and Hathaway this, and they wisely didn’t release that info to the public. So this plan is fraught with potential radiation. Bummer.

Lourdes visits the President in the infirmary to change his IV Bag. They chit chat, and she reveals everything she now knows she learned from Anne. Oh, Lord, don’t tell him that! He has hope, for God’s sake, don’t ruin it! The President practically starts singing about how he believes that children like her are the future and all, until she leaves, pausing purposefully. Uh oh.

Lourdes—sweet, adorable Lourdes—then goes downstairs to the room under the President’s and calculates the exact positioning of an infirmary bed. She lays down upon it, reaches underneath it, pulls out a Volm weapon and uses it to BLAST THE CRAP OUT OF PRESIDENT HATHAWAY! NO FREAKING WAY! Lourdes is the mole? Holy crap. Good on you, show. I did not see that one coming.

Lourdes then goes to the church (where did they get the approximately 7,683 candles in that place, anyway?) and is kneeling to pray. There are about 50 eye bugs crawling around under her face skin. So gross. A PA comes in, causing her iBugs to hide, and tells her the President’s been shot. Lourdes examines him, telling Weaver and Marina he didn’t suffer. Anthony arrives, telling everyone that the president was shot with the same type of weapon that killed Manchester, and they way he says it leads you to believe there may be multiple moles. (What the eff is going on?) Marina and Weaver want Anthony to find the real, not-Hal-Mason mole. Weaver wants to tell Hathaway’s people and spread the word of the assassination, but Marina refuses. Because she is also a mole? Right? Forget it. I don’t know what the hell is happening. Anyway, she tells both Anthony and Weaver they have their orders and they will follow them. Leaving us wondering if Lourdes has a new boss.


So, okay, according to the teaser for next week, the most shocking revelation is STILL TO COME! Wow. What do you think can top iBug Lourdes? Guess we will have to wait and see. Catch you all next week!

Barbara Sirois Doyle is a writer for Sweatpants & Coffee. She is a fan of Falling Skies and snarks because she loves.

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