Those who are perhaps less fervent fans of Supernatural than some of us here at Sweatpants & Coffee may not be aware, but this weekend in Burbank, Creation Entertainment is producing a Supernatural convention. And in order to faithfully report back to you on this experience, S&C founder, Nanea Hoffman and your intrepid TV recapper Barbara Sirois Doyle will be in attendance. Don’t worry. We’ll say hi to the boys for you. We’ll be reporting from the road and from the convention itself, but we felt it would be fitting to start our Supernatural adventure off by watching and commenting on last week’s episode.

B: So, it’s a given that anyone who’s in the opener dies, right?

N: Yes.

B: Dead. Don’t bother, suicide hotline. This guy is toast.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Dead Guy

N: Why is the blood spatter hot pink?

B: I am willing to buy the vaporization, but why is human tissue neon?

B: Oh, look. Cas is making coffee. (Cas licks the stirrer) TONGUE PORN!

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Castiel Tongue

N: Aw. No high five for Steve.

B: I’m disappointed he’s not going by Clarence.

N: “You’re not like other sales associates.”

B: Dean would say that this is how every bad porno starts.

B: Kevin’s hair is growing back in a bowl cut and it’s adorable.

N: C’mon, AP! What do you mean you “don’t know”?!

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Kevin Tran

N: I like when Dean is bitchy with Cas.

N: Slurpee disaster!!!

B: He’s talking to Dean and he spews everywhere.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Cas Slurpee

B: Homeless Cas is perfectly groomed. He’s so cute. Look at how hopeful he is!

N: Okay, but really? You’re gonna ask out with the guy who might be living in your storeroom?

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Steve is special

(The crime scene is covered in hot pink.)

N: It’s like the 80’s threw up in that room.

B: It really is. All it needs is some Lisa Frank stickers strewn around.

B: I’d keep Crowley chained up for the one-liners. And other stuff.

B: Dean staring longingly at Cas through the store window is not helping the Destiel theories.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Dean gazing

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Cas store window

(Ephraim appears.)

B: He looks like he should be in Sugar Ray.

N: It’s douchebag angel!

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait douchebag angel

B: Look! It’s Jared and Jensen’s texting commercial.

N: Where they talk about being daddies. OMG!

(Both sigh at the on-screen pretty.)

N: Dean is so hurt when Cas doesn’t properly greet him or ask how he’s been.

(Cas starts listing his Gas ‘n Sip responsibilities.)

B: You had me at taquitos.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Dean pissy

(Sam is convinced Crowley’s not a total douche.)

Crowley: “Sorry, Moose. To the last drop.”

N: Well, that’s evocative.

B: He’s like the demon equivalent of Folger’s.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Crowley to the last drop

(Dean questions a school girl about her murdered friend.)

B: Okay. I am willing to buy angels and demons and people that explode into a hot pink vapor. But the fact that that girl is looking at Dean Winchester and not blushing and bursting into a continuous round of flirty giggles? Most unrealistic part of the episode.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Dean talking to girl

Castiel: “Everything I ever attempted came out wrong.”

B: He’s dead right about that.


N: I like it when Cas is prissy.

B: I do, too. I also think his Gas ‘N Sip vest brings out the blue in his eyes.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Cas blue eyes

(Dean tells Cas to “go live a normal life”.)

B: What? That never works out on this show.

N: I know, right?
B: In Supernatural land, that is the most piss poor advice ever.

(Second texting commercial begins.)

N’s husband: Did you want to watch it? Again?


B: What’s the matter with you, Hoffman?

B: So they get to keep their angel powers but they just can’t fly?

N: Yeah, I think they’ve just lost their wings.

(Broken Wings by Mr. Mister begins to play in B’s mind.)

B: Oooh! Jared has bitch face!

B: Oh, Kevin’s voice. Never change.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Jared Bitch Face

(Dean gives Cas dating advice in the Impala.)

N: Aw. They’re gonna have “the talk”.

B: Well, Cas already knows half of it: the bees.

B: Look! Proud Dean is proud.

N: Isn’t Dean supposed to slip him a condom now?

B: I like how Cas is cutting her own flowers to give to her.

(Cas waves Dean off.)

N: “Daaaaaaaaad! Get outta here!”

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Dean Cas dating advice

B: So, where is Tonya’s dad? Or is that too Puritanical a question to ask?

B: Why do you think Crowley doesn’t want Sam’s blood?

N: I think because he sees Ezekiel in there.

B: Me too.

B: I refuse to believe that Linda Tran is dead.

N: Me, too. LINDA LIVES!!!

(Cas sings The Greatest American Hero theme song.)


B: Can Misha Collins sing in real life? Because here he sounds like Ed Asner. Baby Tonya is not impressed.

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Cas Greatest American Hero

(Cas talks to Baby Tonya. “I used to be able to ease your pain just by touching you.”)

B: He can ease my pain by touching me.

N: Right?

B: So we’ve graduated from “Let’s leave my baby with a homeless stranger!” to “Let’s leave my SICK baby with a homeless stranger.” Fantastic.

B: Cas cut his palm with rose thorns? And it’s bleeding that much? Also, bravo for being able to write the Enochian symbol backwards.

B: Abaddon looks good in this episode. I think she finally got her makeup under control.

B&N: Ooooh! What’s a “skanger”?! We gotta look that up.1

(Crowley is pissed about the terms of his contracts being violated.)

B: See? Crowley is not without honor. I like that they’re showing the levels of integrity, and that, yes, it gets worse than Crowley.

(End of the episode. Dean and Cas are talking about Cas’ future.)

B: Why is “My Boyfriend’s Back” playing in my mind?

B: Oh, Cas. Every time you get involved with anything you screw things up.

N: Yeah. You know he’ll end up taking over heaven again.


All in all, an enjoyable episode, although we did feel it was a bit of a slow-burn transitional piece. Still: Cas with a baby pretty much wins everything. What did you think? Let us know! Also, what do you think Crowley is injecting himself with in the final scene?

Supernatural Heaven Can't Wait Sam Crowley

1       scanger (plural scangers) 1. (Ireland, pejorative) A person who is associated with petty criminality and who is seen as strongly identified with brand names in music, clothing, sport, vehicles, and so forth. (via Wiktionary)

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