According to the American Psychological Association, “Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions.” Bullying is not caused by the victim. It is not accidental. It is a deliberate and insidious harm. The target of bullying has often done nothing to provoke it and has difficulty stopping the behavior aimed at them. They struggle to defend themselves. The bullying can be physical, emotional, and/or psychological. A child should know that if a behavior harms or hurts them physically or emotionally, it is bullying and it is unacceptable. We can teach our children how to cope when they experience bullying (sometimes they figure it out for themselves). We can educate people about the differences that make us special. We can talk about it. A LOT. We can make it an ongoing conversation so that anyone experiencing bullying can find their way to help and to the resources they need. We can be watchful and proactive.
Too many of us have known the helpless anger and humiliation experienced by bullying victims. Or we know the heartache of parenting a child who is being bullied. Or we know the dark rage and self-loathing that makes a bully lash out. There are actions we can take to end this cycle, though. Bullying/being bullied isn’t some necessary rite of passage. It’s unnecessary suffering, and we can change that. We at Sweatpants & Coffee hope and believe that with all our hearts. Our staff and family members gladly donned blue shirts in support of World Bullying Prevention Day, and we’ve compiled a helpful list of resources and articles (scroll down).
Here are some signs to look for in children and teens who may be suicidal or depressed and/or experiencing bullying:
- Change in sleep
- Change in mood – sadness, anxiety, irritability
- Change in behavior – isolation
- Change in appetite
- Increase in aggression or impulsiveness
- Agitation
- Feeling hopeless, worthless
- Saying things like “No one will miss me” or “You’ll be better off” (feeling like a burden)
- Feeling ashamed or humiliated or desperation, as after a break up or test
- Collecting means (ways to harm themselves)
- Talking about wanting to kill themselves
- Drop in grades
- Risk taking
- Giving away prized possessions
You can call this number for help: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Never hesitate to reach out for information.
Bullying Information & Resources:
- National Bullying Prevention Center
- StopBullying.gov
- National Education Association’s Bully Free Campaign
- National Association Of School Psychologists Bullying Prevention Resource List
- Cyberbullying Research Center Resource List
- Common Sense Media Cyberbullying Toolkit
- Anti-Defamation League Education & Outreach: Bullying & Cyberbullying
- Safekids.com Bullying & Cyberbullying Resources
Articles:
- Bullying Has Lingering Effects On Children’s Mental Health, Livescience, Feb. 17, 2014
- Study: Bullied Kids at Risk for Mental Health Problems 40 Years Later, The Atlantic, Apr. 23, 2014
- Why Don’t Kids Report Bullying?, Education.com, May 20, 2009
- Sibling Bullying Increases Depression Risk, BBC.com, Sept. 8, 2014
- ABC’s Of Children’s Mental Health: Ethnicity & Bullying, JacksonCountyDaily.com, Sept. 18, 2014
- Family Dinners Good For Teens’ Mental Health, Could Protect From Cyberbullying, Sciencedaily.com, Sept. 1, 2014
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