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Letter from the Editor #5 | Showing Up Anyway

My dearest Sweatpants & Coffee tribe,

I meant to write something inspirational for this new year, full of stirring prose and motivational magic. The literary equivalent of that first precious sip of coffee. You’d read a few sentences and then leap off the couch, blazing with glorious determination, eager to pursue your destiny, but first, you’d want to print out these sparkly gems of wisdom and tape them to your bathroom mirror. It was going to be THAT good.

But here’s the thing: I am so freaking tired.

Some of my exhaustion might be from the chemotherapy I recently completed. Some of it might be due to our current socio-political climate and everyone’s need to fret and shout and type out their opinions to the internet in righteous, capslock-y ferver. Some of it, if we’re getting real here, is that I just stay up too late for no good reason at all. Oh, and I might be (definitely am) going through a bout of depression.

My sparkly wisdom-gem pouch of glittery motivational stardust is empty. I’m using it to hold tortilla chips and Sharpies. Some days, finding my way from one end of a thought to the other is arduous. I get discouraged contemplating unanswered emails and dirty dishes. I’m in a constant state of fearful irritation. In other words: a treasure to be around.

So, I just decided to show up. Here I am, on the page, in my life, in the world. Messy and weird and disorganized, but also just willing to be here. Like this. TA-DAH! *jazz hands*

If you show up, you get to find out what comes next. If you’re willing to hang out with your pain and doubts and flaws and your wrinkly, crumb-covered pajamas, you are present for the goodness that will eventually make itself known. If you take a deep breath and squint your eyes, you will see the next step to take. Maybe not the whole path, but you might see a stepping stone, and when you get to that one, you can worry about what comes next.

Yes. This is the kind of shit I tell myself in order to get out of bed in the morning, and YES, it’s extra-cheesy with a side of cheese sauce. Mmmm…delicious.

It’s far too early in the year to commit to big aspirations. What if an asteroid hits tomorrow? I say we just show up. Let’s just come as we are, with our open, fractured hearts and our willingness to witness each other, and let’s just see. I will if you will.



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About Nanea Hoffman (287 Articles)
Nanea Hoffman is the founder of Sweatpants & Coffee. She writes, she makes things, and she drinks an inordinate amount of coffee. She is also extremely fond of sweatpants. She believes in love, peace, joy, comfort, and caffeinated beverages.

2 Comments on Letter from the Editor #5 | Showing Up Anyway

  1. I just read “Showing Up Anyway” and decided to show up anyway and write this comment. I don’t know what got into me. Haven’t read anything else on this web site, certainly not prepared to say something. But I want to share my thought, which is that the secret to overcoming physical ailments in the body is to appreciate. What I mean is that if there are 4 things in your life going well and 4 going not well, one can spend their time thinking about what is going well and the other things will drop away. Appreciation. And by the way thanks very much Nanea for this show up anyway letter and the “None of us are getting out of here alive” quote that I found that made me google you in the first place.

  2. Sweatpants & Coffee // February 10, 2017 at 10:22 am // Reply

    Richard, I’m so glad you found your way here! I love the strategy of appreciation. Thank you for sharing. — Nanea

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