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Notes from Nanea | Building a Bigger Blanket Fort

By Nanea Hoffman

My dear Sweatpants & Coffee tribe,

Sometimes, life is so overwhelming that you need to build yourself a blanket fort for protection. And sometimes, it’s important to make that blanket fort bigger so there’s room to gather.

And you guys, I found a way for us to all hang out. Whenever we want! In our stretchy pants and glorious imperfection! It’s an app called Wisdo, and we wrote about it here. It’s specifically designed to allow people to share their experiences, ask the questions we really need answers to but might be too embarrassed to ask, and to engage with each other in a thoughtful way. Here’s the best part: there’s a special Sweatpants & Coffee group where we can chill. Imagine me, nervously rearranging pillows and mugs, waiting for the guests to arrive but also really excited to talk about whatever, as long as it’s not small talk because I’m awful at that.

You can find me/us here:

All I know is, everywhere I turn, people are scared and tired and yearning for meaningful connection. Sweatpants & Coffee was born of my own desperate desire for comfort. And, though I didn’t realize it at the time, my loneliness. It’s so weird and hard to make real connections as a nerdy, introverted adult with anxiety who is also an expert at masking. You can’t just walk up to someone and be like, “Hi, I’m not good at this, and at some point in this casual conversation, my body is going to think we are in mortal danger and it will respond by making me sweat profusely, but…I’m also fun and interesting and hi, do you also enjoy dystopian fiction, quirky sci-fi, and being really snarky? Want to talk about mental health? Recipes? Shower crying? It’s all good.”


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TGIF! Get wild. Or not. Whatever makes you happy. 😀 @naneahoffman #sweatpantsandcoffee

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It would be much easier if there were some kind of secret handshake, especially these days when so many of us are feeling lost and “other.” There isn’t (I checked), so I did the next best thing and wrote my strange musings out and then chucked them into the vast ocean of the interwebs. Carrie Fisher says that it creates community when you talk about private things. And I’ve found that she’s right, because when you get vulnerable, you’ve made yourself accessible to other people. You’ve let them into your secret hidey spot and you’re hoping they won’t knock the place down, but if they stay and you get comfy together, SWEET.

It’s really scary to send up your personal bat signal. What if no one comes? What if you’re the only one of your kind? What if you find people but they’re the wrong ones?

What I learned is that everyone worries about that. And none of us are alone, but a lot of us feel that way. ­­

So. Hi. I’m Nanea. I’m glad to connect with you. Ask me anything.


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About Nanea Hoffman (287 Articles)
Nanea Hoffman is the founder of Sweatpants & Coffee. She writes, she makes things, and she drinks an inordinate amount of coffee. She is also extremely fond of sweatpants. She believes in love, peace, joy, comfort, and caffeinated beverages.

1 Comment on Notes from Nanea | Building a Bigger Blanket Fort

  1. Nanea, thank you so much for these intimate articles! You’re just what I needed. It’s like talking to a friend.
    I just downloaded the app, i am so happy i found it.
    BTW, i love your Instagram posts here but i hate Facebook inc. so i am not on Instagram directly.

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