As one would expect, the season finale of TV’s most ridiculously twisted series offered up… well, a series of ridiculously fun twists. Miss any of the action? Just wanna relive it? Join us now in recapping this week’s SCANDAL!
Words Of Wisdom: As the Gladiators react to news that Billy Chambers is the mole, Huck realizes the error of his ways. After all, he’d handed the job of killing Billy over to Charlie. Instead of doing the deed, Billy and Charlie formed a nasty little scheme team. “If you want somebody killed right,” sighs Huck, “you have to kill them yourself!”
Easier Said Than Done: The Defiance crew gets together and, as Cyrus and Mellie are seconds from destroying one another, Fitz walks in to take control of the meeting. “We’ve all had our differences in the past,” he says in the understement of the night. Hollis wants Billy killed and says as much. “Talking about murder in front of the president is like talking about sex in the Vatican in front of the pope,” chastises Cyrus. “We do not do it!” Fitz insists there’s to be no blood shed, and Liv gets everyone focused back on what’s important: Getting the Cytron card back, which would neutralize Billy. Privately, Fitz insists he’s going to get re-elected and move Liv into the White House. She says that ain’t gonna happen, and he gives the best response ever: “Fix it.” He adds, “The American public is the problem. They love Mellie. Solve it!” He tells her to use her superpower, then breaks out his… which is apparently his tongue!
Man’s Best Friend: The Mystery Man orders Jake to “bring in” Olivia… or else! James accuses Cyrus of freezing him out… and then turns the tables by revealing to his spouse that Sally’s planning to run against Fitz in the next election! Cyrus is pretty ticked by this, as evidenced by his conversation with the vice president. “Your job has only two requirements,” he snaps at Sally. “One is to not die. The other is to be loyal to the president. That’s it. Don’t die. Be loyal. The only other creature in this White House who has the same sweet dog is the president’s dog, Hank. Hank can do those two simple things. Why can’t you?” Sally, of course, is upset about commandments being broken and sin running rampant around the administration, so she’s all set to recruit like-minded Republicans to back her. Lord help us, she’s Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin all rolled up into one nasty little package. In other words, she is my nightmare.
Heart (Attack) Of The Matter: Realizing that Billy can’t be working alone given his complete lack of credibility thanks to that whole murder thingy from last season, Liv insists his co-hort must be Governor Reston. The second the Gladiators prove there’s a connection, David gives his co-conspirator a head’s up. Reston dashes over to the White House and gives Fitz an option: Put him on the ticket, or have the truth about Defiance revealed. But Liv figures out that Reston is probably planning to get elected VP and then use Defiance to have her man impeached. Meanwhile, the Mystery Man tells Cyrus to release the Fitz/Liv sex tape or else, then ominously warns that he’s going to “take care of” Liv. Cyrus is clearly concerned for his frenemy… so much so that on his way back to the White House, he collapses! When an EMT tries to take his blood pressure, Cy — who is trying to relay what he knows to Fitz — shouts at the man, “It’s bad! Very bad!” At the hospital, James, of course, goes into total drama queen mode (“Don’t die while I’m still mad at you!”) and then, God bless him, tries getting confirmation on a story.
Card Sharks: Huck admits he’s worried about Quindsay getting too good at what he’s teaching her, and admits he worries about Liv and her relationship. Huck’s a regular worry wart. David takes a meeting with Billy, who admits to all the murders he’s committed and, being a God-fearing Christian, acknowledges that he’ll burn in hell. Billy points out that Olivia and her friends destroyed David’s life. “Yeah, yeah, she’ll break out the crazy glue and fix it for you,” Billy says, “but she broke it!” His anti-pep talk works, and David forks over the Cytron card. At the same time, Liv realizes that Reston doesn’t have the card. As they hoped, making it clear that they know this causes Reston to call Billy and ask for the card. All they have to do is show up, retrieve the card… easy peezy, right? Yeah, sure.
The Race Card: Hearing that her approval numbers are tumbling, Mellie tries putting on a happy face. But Fitz ain’t buying what she’s desperate to sell (especially since it involves them reuniting), instead laying out his plan to run for re-election and win, then date several “age-appropriate” women before announcing he’s fallen in love with his longtime friend, Olivia. “My relationship with Olivia is going to spark a real dialogue about race in this country and blow the Republican party wide open,” he says, “and let some light and air into places that haven’t seen change in far too long. So the party will love her!” He then warns that if she doesn’t go along, he’ll label his soon-to-be ex a racist!
Unhappy Endings: Mystery Man, whose name is apparently Roland, sends his female sidekick to Olivia’s. Fortunately, when she breaks down the door, Jake is there to shoot her! He then escorts her to the office and warns her to stay there. All he can say is that “as long as you’re in a relationship with the president, your life is in danger!” She tries to give him credit for being awesome, but he turns that notion upside down by revealing, “Sleeping with you was part of my mission.” Despite this, she gives him a sweet kiss before he leaves. As Jake exits, Harrison — who apparently hasn’t been paying attention the past few weeks — declares, “This just got real!” Liv tells Cyrus that the good folks of B613 tried to kill her tonight, and he gives her Concerned Friend Lecture 103, which basically boils down to “You dumb be-yotch, your love life is going to get you killed oh, and by the way, your boyfriend killed Verna!” This throws some pretty cold water on Liv’s fantasies. “Life isn’t a romance novel,” sighs Cyrus. Meanwhile, Huck and Quindsay manage to get their hands on Billy, but he’s not being very cooperative when it comes to telling them where the in-demand card is. Worse, Huck finds himself unable to coerce the information out of Billy… so — and who didn’t see this coming — Quindsay cuts into Billy like a Thanksgiving turkey. Soon enough, Billy tells them where to find the card… but it’s a fake! Abby finally realizes that David, while sleeping on the office couch, was trying every possible combination of the safe until he finally got it open and his hands on the card. Why? So he could use it to get BIlly to confess to his crime spree! Turns out, David ain’t a bad guy after all! In fact, the card he gave Billy was a fake!
Family Ties: David gives Cyrus the real Cytron card in exchange for his getting a cush new job. Liv pays Fitz a visit and while he’s willing to overlook the whole Jake thing, she’s not feeling quite so forgiving of the “you killed our friend” thing. She says that with the Defiance mess now behind them, Fitz should run for re-election with Mellie by his side. As the episode closes, we see Fitz laying his head on a stunned — but no doubt pleased — Mellie’s lap. Elsewhere, Huck is thunderstruck by what he’s unleashed in Quindsay and winds up rockin’ in a corner again, while Jake is captured by the Mystery Man and thrown into the same hole that Huck once occupied. Liv, meanwhile, slips into a ridiculously impractical white outfit to go running… only to open the front door to her apartment building and get a double shock. As the press demands to know if she really was the president’s mistress (who tipped those bloodhounds off?), our favorite fixer is hauled off and shoved into the back of a limo where she finds herself face to face with the Mystery Man. This can’t be good, we think… and that’s before she says tremulously, “Dad?”
So did the finale live up to your expectations? Can Fitz and Olivia ever get past their issues… or is their love truly doomed? Not that David’s re-donned his white hat, might he and Abby stand a chance? Is Quindsay about to become a bloodthirsty monster? (Hey, at least that would make her interesting!) Hit the comments below and share your thoughts!
Richard Simms is the Executive Editor of Soaps In Depth magazine and the author of Crimes Against Civility, which is available on Amazon.com.