The prophet Kevin Tran is dreaming. Or is he? He can hear Crowley’s voice, and goes looking for it. “I’m in your head,” Crowley says. “As well as everywhere else.” Crowley reminds him that the last time Kevin irked him, he ended up losing a finger. Next time? Kevin’s losing all his limbs, in a bloody slice and dice. Gross.
Sam and Dean go to visit Kevin, who greets them armed with a frying pan. He tells them about Crowley, and the boys gently tell him he’s just spooked. They talk him down. Or at least into setting down the frying pan, anyway.
Apparently,Kevin has translated the second trial from the tablet. “You crazy prophet you, nice work!” says gorgeous, gorgeous Dean.Kevin worries that Crowley knows, since he is in head. He’s not, insist the Winchesters,which means he totally is. Kevin tells them that the second trial is to rescue an innocent soul from hell, and deliver it unto heaven. Dean realizes that they are going to need “expert” help for this one.
The boys head to a crossroads and summon a demon who, Dean notes sadly, is not a hot chick, but a dude. They trap him there and I immediately recognize the spot as the location for the Supernatural Shake video, which either means I pay attention, or I am too obsessed with this show. Either way? I’m good with it. Don’t judge me.The boys do their usual method of holy water acid torture and eventually the demon fesses up: you can get transport to hell from a rogue reaper. Sam asks if they are like “hell coyotes” which makes Dean roll his eyes. I do not understand this reference. But as soon as the wiki is updated, I will! I mean it—don’t judge me.
The boys go to a dark alley in the city with tons of graffiti on it and meet a cabdriver named Ajay, who is exactly the kind of reaper they are looking for. Dean wants roundtrip tickets for him and Sam, and he is willing to owe Ajay a favor to get them. Ajay tells them he knows who they are, that he is, in fact, the reaper who took Bobby Singer to hell. The boys are stunned: they burned Bobby’s bones and he was a good guy,so why is he there? Crowley, of course. Sam convinces Dean he has to travel alone, and Dean reluctantly, worriedly, agrees. Sam will return in 24 hours,bearing Bobby, and he is taking the demon knife with him. Dean heads off, not noticing that a demon infested homeless guy has been watching the whole time.
Ajay leads Sam into the alley and tells him to take his hand. “And it gets creepier,” says Sam. Then a trippy,swirly light show happens, and Sam and Ahjay end up in…Purgatory woods. Damnit! Sam is pissed, but Ajay tells him this is as far as he can take him, and tells Sam where to find the back door to Hell. Sam has to go it alone. Ajay will be back in 24 hours to get Sam. Exactly. And he’d better be there.
Back at the SS Prophet, Dean has brought Kevin some food. Dean still eats at Biggerson’s? Really? Leviathan snot sandwich didn’t turn him off from that forever? Okay, I guess. Anyway, Kevin is in full panic mode, and Dean tells him he knows it sucks that they are on the hook for all of humanity, but he also knows Kevin can take it. He offers Kevin a fry. Kevin takes the whole tray of food and goes to hide in his room. “Let me know when there is a good day,” he says weakly. Dean looks after him, regretful. “That’s my pie,” he mourns. Sad Dean is sad.
Of course, Crowley find Ajay eating pizza in his cab. After a lengthy back and forth, Ajay confesses what he has done, and Crowley runs him through, killing him, so he can’t pick Sam up. Fun side note?If you follow the Twitters of people who create the show (I said don’t you judge me!) you would see that there is a bumper sticker on Ajay’s taxi cab that looks like this:
Sam negotiates his way through Purgatory, finally coming to an understanding of where Dean was for a year, and not liking it much. He does find the back door to hell, and goes inside, leaving his watch behind as a door marker. He wanders the halls, past the tortured, bloody and insane, until he enters a cell and sees what I’ve been longing for for ages,making me gasp out loud with joy. It’s Bobby Freakin’ Singer. Who promptly punches Sam right in the kisser.
Apparently,Bobby’s version of hell is seeing hundreds upon hundreds of demon infested Sam and Deans, over and over, and he can’t believe that Sam is real.(Awwww.) Sam convinces him he is, by reminding Bobby of his love of Tori Spelling and pedicures. That convinces him, and he embraces Sam warmly, and someone is cutting onions in my living room. Sam tells Bobby he is there to spring him and why. Bobby is delighted.
Crowley is talking to talking to a female, “temp-agency” demon, trying to figure outwhat the hell is going on. He tells her she better figure it out, and quick.And get him KEVIN TRAN!
Back on the boat, Dean is cooking eggs and bacon for Kevin. Mmmm. Dean and bacon once more. Can’t decide which is more yummy.Kevin comes in through the front door, surprising Dean. Kevin, it seems, has hidden the tablet. Kevin heads to hide in a closet, and Dean is unamused.Before he can bitch about it, Naomi suddenly appears, making Dean even more angry. Naomi is there to tell Dean he can be trusted, and she is soft spoken and persuasive and almost gets me to believe her. Dean remains unimpressed. “Save it. See? I don’t trust angels. Which means I don’t trust you,” Dean growls. She acknowledges that she understands Dean hopes Castiel will return, and she does too,actually. She thinks they are on the same side. And to show she is helpful, she tells Dean: Ajay actually sent Sam to Purgatory. Dean is stunned.
Sam and Bobby fight their way out of hell, ultimately coming to a confrontation with another Sam. After a moment, it is unclear which Sam is a demon. Bobby stabs one in the gut. “You knew somehow, right?” ask Real Sam. “Took a chance,” Bobby admits. “50-50!” he adds cheerfully. And Sam looks nauseated, but I love Bobby passionately. I will never give up hope of a Bobby and Rufus “Odd Couple” style show. Never.
Sam and Bobby emerge from Hell. “What the hell is this?” asks Bobby. “Don’t get all pissed off,” says Sam. “It’s Purgatory.” “BALLS!” says Bobby Singer, and I actually cheer out loud. They run off to meet Ajay.
Dean discovers dead Ajay in the cab. Uh oh. To Dean’s credit, he doesn’t eat Ajay’s cold pizza. He calls Benny for help. Benny, who seems to not be doing very well, is really happy to hear from Dean. “You might change your mind about that,” says Dean.
Sam updates Bobby about the trials. Bobby grins, saying he is glad to be back inaction again and he is going to help. Sam, sadly, tells him they gave him a Hunter’s funeral, and since Bobby has nothing to tether him to earth (and since Sam needs to finish the trial) he will have to go straight to Heaven. Bobby sighs but agrees, telling Sam that he isn’t exactly the retiring type, “So you idjits better find away to spring me.” Oh, Bobby. It’s been far too long since I heard that adorable word. Sam agrees but is distracted. Where the hell is Ajay?
In the alley, Benny and Dean talk. It is clear they are deep and true friends, and that they have missed each other. Dean doesn’t want to send Benny back to Purgatory, especially since it involves beheading him, but Benny wants to. “Hey. He’s your brother,” he says with a soft smile.Besides, Benny says, he doesn’t belong on earth any more. “After a while, that starts to wear on you,” he sighs. Dean assures him that Sam will give Benny a ride back, and they will fix all that. Dean will be waiting in Maine for the both of them. Benny is clearly lying when he says that sounds like a plan. Just before Dean beheads Benny, he reaches out to shake his hand, and they end up embracing tightly. “Thank you,” he says, and Benny takes a deep breath. “Come on, you wimp,” he says, and Dean, eyes mournful, does the deed. Homeless Demon sees the whole thing.
Sam and Bobby talk in Purgatory about Dean’s time there. Once again, we are reminded that SAM SHOULD HAVE LOOKED FOR DEAN, for God’s sake. We do get it, show. I promise. They are preyed upon by vamps and are outnumbered. Before anyone can get hurt, Benny appears and helps, tearing out one’s throat. It is splattery and gross and cool. Bobby makes to kill him but Sam stops him. “Dean sent me,” Benny tells them. “Not MY Dean,” Bobby snarls, but Sam tells him it’s true. Bobby is dumbfounded.Benny just grins, charmingly.
Sam acknowledges that Benny has been Dean’s savior, and now he is his.They head for the human portal out that Dean used to get topside. Sam tells Bobby that once he is released it is straight to Heaven—no time for goodbyes. “Already said goodbye to you once, Sam, and it didn’t seem to take. No reason to think I won’t see you again, somewhere down the road,” Bobby smiles. And I am instantly hopeful. Don’t let me down, show. “If they give me a rocking chair up there, I am raising hell,” Bobby assures him. Sam absorbs Bobby’s spirit, and offers the same to Benny. Benny stalls, and they are set upon by vamps. Benny cheerfully offers himself up as bait. “Tell Dean I said goodbye. I was never any good up there anyway,” he says. Sam tosses him a blade he has found, and leaves while Benny is still fighting. He emerges in Maine, to a waiting Dean who hugs him close. “Purgatory, right?” Dean growls. “A real garden spot, ain’t it?” And Sam finally understands.
Sam tells Dean he only got Bobby out, that Benny sacrificed himself, and he thinks Benny didn’t want to go anyway. Sad Dean is now really, really sad. At least Bobby is good, and ornery as hell, Sam says. “As he should be,” Dean says. They do the spell to release Bobby to heaven, but Crowley suddenly appears, stopping them, trying to get Bobby’s soul back down below. The boys try to knife him and Crowley casually pins them to trees. And who comes to save the day? Why, Naomi, of course! She’s putting on a show, and Crowley knows it. Crowley pisses her off by calling her a “Bureaucrat” and disappears. Naomi sends Bobby to Heaven with a smile, telling the boys, “I told you you could trust me.” Dean promises to explain later.
Sam says the Enochian spell that concludes the trial, and the same blinding light andpain strike him, panicking Dean. It’s clear it is even more intense. “It’s okay,” Sam insists. “It’s done.” Dean doesn’t believe it for a second.
Back on the Prophet, Crowley plays mind games with Kevin again. Kevin tries to believe it is just a dream, until Crowley appears before him. Apparently, he has visited Kevin’s mom, and when she didn’t give him up, he killed her and got Kevin’s address from her smart phone.This devastates Kevin. “What you people never seem to understand is that you are nothing. Fleeting blips of light. I. Am. Forever,” Crowley growls, and as the camera pulls back from the boat, we hear Kevin’s screams of agony.
In the Impala, Dean asks about Sam as they head to visit Kevin. “I’ll live,” Sam mumbles. Dean admits that he buried Benny, but didn’t burn his bones. Sam gets it.“He’s a little different from what I thought,” he admits. “So go ahead and leave the door open if you want.” The boys get to the boat, and it is cleaned out. Completely. And Kevin is gone. “I saw this coming,” Dean says. “He finally freaked. Little geek made a run for it.” “Yeah. But where?” Sam asks, neither Winchester understanding what really happened to the prophet Kevin Tran.
Next week: Felicia Friggin’ Day returns, ya’ll, and Dean looks particularly hot dressed as a soldier. Woo-hoo! I may or may not have watched the promo seven times already. Oh fine. Judge me, already. See you next time!
Barbara Sirois Doyle is a writer for Sweatpants & Coffee. She salts and burns first and asks questions later.