If you haven’t seen this week’s episode of SURVIVOR, avert your eyes…because we’re about to hit the beach to find out what happens whether two not-so-great tastes taste great together. That’s right, kids…it’s time for the merge!

Crazy Talk: We begin this week’s episode exactly where we left off last week’s: With me wondering how the hell Phillip managed to avoid getting his torch snuffed. And the pink-panty-clad superspy is still spinning that tale about how he “threw the challenge”…and trying to sell that story to his harshest critic, aside from me, Corinne. 

Now, flashback if you will, to what he told Cochran last week…That he threw the challenge for one reason and one reason only: So the tribe could go to tribal and vote Corinne out. But even the most gullible person on the island, Dawn ain’t buying what Phillip’s trying to sell. As for Corinne? She perhaps sums the situation up best: “He’s cuckoo for cocoa puffs!” 

What’s In A Name?: Dawn’s not feeling so good about the merge, given as last time she played this game, that was when she failed to hear the sound of the approaching bus that she would soon be thrown under. Fearing the worst, Dawn begins to cry. And it looks like she won’t stop anytime soon. Sure enough, the tribes merge, quickly settling on the name Enil Edan (New Beginning). Me? I’m wishing they’d gone with Michael’s suggestion: Stanley. Corinne agrees with me, calling the new moniker “the dumbest name ever.” Phillip immediately begins cobbling together yet another alliance, and one thing becomes clear: The dude’s obsessed with Boston Rob. “When you’re laying in bed tonight, pretend your Boston Rob,” he tells Andrea. “Because that’s what I do.” Ooookaaaay…

The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth: The immunity challenge turns out to be one of those I look forward to every season: Jeff making the contestants eat gross things while I sit home chowing down on chicken wings. Eddie worries chicks back home won’t dig him after watching him eat beetle larvae. Apparently, Eddie doesn’t own a mirror. But it is self-described pipsqueak Cochran who chokes down bugs, worms, and brains to walk away with the necklace. 

Reversal Of Fortune: Heading into tribal council, Reynold goes all GAME OF THRONES, talking about a plot to overthrow “the tyranny of Lord Phillip of the High Shelter.” It’s looking bad for Sherri…until Corinne blabs to Dawn and sets in motion a game of telephone that leads, against all odds, right back to Phillip! Worse, Farrah Fawcett-Erik gets it into his head that he’s “suddenly become a valuable player.” Heaven help us all! 

It’s Blindside Time!: Around the camp fire, Dawn whines that the favorites don’t have a shot even as Reynold puffs his chest and makes it clear he thinks he’s an alpha dog. As voting commences, I realize there are several people I couldn’t name if offered semi-big bucks to do so. When Sherri’s name is pulled, she tries not to look upset about the fact everybody seems to have a different spelling of it. In a nail-biter, it comes down to a tie between Sherri and Corinne…and the 9th person voted out proves to be Corinne. Jeff’s parting words of wisdom? “Well, judging from the look on Corinne’s face, that was anything but a straight-forward vote. And I’m guessing it won’t be the last time somebody is surprised at tribal council!” But the person most surprised? Me, as Phillip once again manages to avoid having his pink-panty clad butt booted.

Richard Simms is the Executive Editor of Soaps In Depth magazine and the author of Crimes Against Civility, which is available on Amazon.com.

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