The tribe spoke twice on this week’s episode of SURVIVOR, and we’re about to reveal whose names wound up atop their hit list. So if you haven’t seen the episode, avert your eyes. Everyone else, slap on some sunscreen and let’s head to the island!

No Rest For The Weary: With Malcolm gone, Eddie and Reynold realize that things are looking pretty grim for them. Reynold tries saying he can totally win eight immunity challenges in a row. Who does he think he is… Cochran? Speaking of the power-hungry ginger, he declares that he’s “not the little Harvard nerd who was trembling in the bushes last time.”  As if the island gods have heard Reynold’s boasting, the tribe finds out they won’t be having a reward challenge today, but instead another immunity challenge. Yippee-ki yay, kids… and we ain’t even to the opening credits yet!

Tipping Point: The challenge involves balance, reminding me yet again of why I will never go on this show. Well, that and my crippling fear of being seen in public undressed. And not having instant access to French fries on demand. Anyway, Jeff proves just how evil he is by announcing that the winner gets immunity as well as a reward (“in the form of information)… and then tempts them to drop out in order to chow down on doughnuts. Quicker than you can say, “Richard would be all over those things,” Eddie proves he got the brawn, not the brains, in the relationship he and Reynold are totally having (in my head): With Eric joining him, Eddie opts for the tasty treats. Cochran sells his soul – or at least his shot at immunity – for far cheaper than I’d have imagined: three hot dogs and a soda. When Reynold falls from his perch, everyone but Eddie cheers. After a brutal three hours, Brenda and Andrea actually make up a new level to the challenge so that one of them can win without either feeling they gave up. As a result, Brenda falls and Andrea walks away with that creepy-ass necklace.

Info Is Power: Andrea and Brenda are given a clue that leads them – and the rest of their alliance – directly to yet another hidden immunity idol. Although it seems obvious that either Eddie or Reynold will be next to go, Andrea – who sometimes gets a look on her face that any scheming soap vixen would fear – suggests it might be time for Brenda to exit stage left. At tribal, Eddie admits, “I sacrificed security and self pride for a few donuts.” But he manages to stick around as Reynold becomes the latest member of the jury. Of course, it’s only the halfway point, so we know there’s more to come…

Blonde Ambition: Back at camp, the final seven break into groups and begin plotting who should be blindsided at the next tribal council meeting. Andrea suggests to Cochran it should be Brenda or Dawn… but he immediately scampers over to tell the ladies they’re being targeted! Reminding us of what important lesson? Never trust a ginger! The night’s second immunity challenge involves a rope course and constructing a ladder. When Eric wins for the first time this season, Jeff can’t help but remind the human hairball that last time he was on SURVIVOR, he won immunity, gave it away… and was immediately voted off. Andrea again begins plotting to have Brenda’s torch snuffed, going so far as to say she feels bad for “the kid” because she remembers being blindsided during her season. “I know what it’s like to be lied to,” admits Andrea… and one can’t help but think she’s counting some unhatched chickens.

Pretty Little Liars: Tribal council begins and there’s all the usual talk, but all I can do is look at Andrea and wonder how she’s looking so gorgeous on day 33 when everyone else (sorry, Sherri!) is lookin’ like they were rode hard and put away wet. Then then cut to Malcolm on the jury, and I find myself thinking he and Andrea would have beautiful babies. Next thing I know, Jeff is counting the votes. Those unhatched chickens Andrea was counting before start coming home to roost and, when a second vote for her is revealed, she literally sits up, looks around and shouts, “What?” Sure enough, despite having an immunity idol (which she failed to play), Andrea is voted off. On the plus side, maybe now she and Malcolm can start working on those pretty, pretty babies in the jury house.

Richard Simms is the Executive Editor of  Soaps In Depth magazine and the author of Crimes Against Civility, which is available on Amazon.com.

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