By Charlotte Fraser
I wake up to a late April morning with my game face on: It’s the day. I run down my checklist to ensure everything is perfect. Gummy bears? Check. English toffee? Check. Fancy chocolate I can’t pronounce but looks amazing? Check. Impulse snack buys on sale? Check. More drinks than I can fit in the fridge? Check. Xbox and PlayStation controllers within reach? Check. I’m ready—for my period.
What were you expecting?! Oh, RIGHT. 4/20: National Weed Day. I suppose prepping for a day of lazy celebrations with Mary Jane sounds oddly similar to prepping for your period, now that I think about it (except one makes you feel pretty dang awesome while the other makes you curse the creation of your uterus). While a dose of THC would certainly help my period cramps, my state has decided that marijuana is the most evil plant in existence, and I have to go to work, so celebrating in the traditional matter just isn’t happening for this girl. Instead, I’m treating myself in a different way: beauty products with hemp and cannabis. No, these won’t make you melt into the couch or devour two full bacon cheeseburgers with extra fries and a sundae, but they will make you glow and feel generally awesome, and that’s kinda like a good high, right?
First, a bit of a science lesson: Pure hemp oil has almost no THC left in it, but it is filled with essential fatty acids (those are the good ones) that the skin absolutely loves. The omega 3s and omega 6s in hemp oil mean skin that keeps its elasticity and firmness. But that doesn’t mean hemp oil helps only aging skin. Its anti inflammatory components are awesome for psoriasis, eczema, acne, and dry skin. Hemp oil helps prevent something called TEWL, or transepidermal water loss, which basically means it helps keep the moisture inn your skin where it belongs rather than letting moisture dissolve into the air.
Two of the issues with certain high-moisture skin products are that 1) the moisturizing component isn’t thin enough to actually penetrate the skin, so it just moisturizes the top layer and makes your skin produce oil anyway, and 2) the moisturizer actually suffocates the skin so it can’t breathe, making it age faster. Hemp oil is thin enough to penetrate to the deeper levels of skin and allows for oxygen absorption, so your skin glows with happiness! An added bonus for you science-y types: The ratio of linoleic acid and alpha-linoleic acid in hemp oil are almost identical to the ratio found in the skin, making this oil an even better candidate for your bathroom cabinet.
All right, now to the fun stuff! A disclaimer here: All of these products, while containing hemp and/or cannabis, are legal in all 50 states, meaning there is no THC left in them. You won’t get a body high from rubbing some lotion on you. These brands all use hemp oil, cannabis oil, or other weed-sourced ingredients in their products, and I’m highlighting a favorite with each brand. Go make Willie Nelson jealous, y’all.
- Apothecanna: This brand is filled with cannabis oil, in case you can’t tell from the name, and specializes in soothing body lotions that pamper your skin and your senses. The Calming Body Crème is a favorite among athletes, yogis, and the generally stressed. Lavender, chamomile, frankincense, and cannabis all come together to help you and your skin calm down
- The Body Shop: The Hemp Body Care line is known both in and out of the stoner world to provide soothing relief to stressed, over-dry skin. While their Hemp on a Rope Soap is a great 4/20 gift for the toker in your life, you’d be amiss to not go for a jar of their bestseller Hemp Foot Protector. Take it from a former dancer and swimmer who’s on her feet all day at work: This stuff is heavenly.
- Cannabis Beauty Defined: With ingredients such as nightingale poop and snail mucus in luxury skin care brands, I’m not surprised to see cannabis entering the field. What I am surprised to see, though, is its use in an exfoliant. Cannabis Beauty Defined Step 2 Exfoliant. combines hemp oil, rose hip seeds, dragon’s blood resin, ginseng, and licorice root to create a potent but nourishing polish that takes away all the dead stuff and leaves you (your skin, that is) feeling fine.
- Cibaderm: A recurring issue for people with psoriasis, eczema, and chronic dandruff is what shampoo they can use that gets their hair clean but will soothe their scalp. Cibaderm CBD Hemp Oil Shampoo is the magical answer. With soothing and cleansing hemp oil, licorice root, lavender, peppermint, and white mulberry leaf, your sensitive scalp will be refreshed.
- Dr. Bronner’s: Let’s be honest—who doesn’t own a bottle or bar of this stuff? While the 18-in-1 Pure Castile Soap is rampant (a bottle of the liquid form in Lavender is in my bathroom for cleaning), I prefer something a bit more soothing for my skin. The Lemongrass Lime Organic Pump Soap not only smells like pure sunshine and happiness, but it leaves your skin feeling fresh and clean.
- Fresh: Speaking of Fresh, no cannabeauty list would be complete without mentioning the cult favorite Fresh perfumes Cannabis Santal and Cannabis Rose. They’re made to complement each other, so whether you pick one for daytime and add the second for night, or buy them as a set for a couple, you’ll smell deliciously herbal and spicy.
- Hempz: I’m pretty sure every girl has either owned or coveted a bottle of this stuff primarily for the giant weed leaf on front, but it’s actually a great daily moisturizer. For late spring/early summer, I like the Fresh Coconut & Watermelon Herbal Body Moisturizer, but I won’t judge you for sticking with the original.
- Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics: I’m crazy about this brand, and your lips will be, too, once you slick on some of their Lip Tar. While I personally use NSFW (described as a true, balanced red) and Anime (seriously neon pink) on a regular basis, Magnolia looks like a perfect pinky-nude, and I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t planning on rocking some Black Dahlia this fall. The hemp oil in this formula keeps lips from drying out, leaving them feeling naturally hydrated (read: not greasy).
There you have it, kids. Get a goodie for yourself or for your herbal-loving friend, but don’t roll your eyes just because these contain weed. This is the good shit, man.