Editor’s Note: Sweatpants & Coffee does not profit from the promotion or sales of any of the following goods. They are genuinely the favorites of our contributing staff writer and beauty expert.

By Charlotte Fraser

Here at Sweatpants & Coffee, we tend to be reasonable with budgets. Unfortunately, drinking coffee doesn’t magically add money to our wallets — otherwise we’d be bazillionaires by now. June 18, however, is a magical day: National Splurge Day. Obviously, this should be celebrated by ogling incredibly luxe cosmetics and toiletries, and maybe even falling into temptation because #treatyoself is important. Here are our nominees, broken down into categories, and some choices for most budgets. Use the links to skip around, or read straight through to fall in love with a beauty product for every imaginable need.

Skin Care
Bath & Body
Hair Care
Major Splurges

MAKEUP: Only the finest should go on your beautiful face, and we’re here to include every. Single. Step.

MOISTURIZER: Only makeup artist favorite Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentré (24-Hour Miracle Cream) will do for a prep moisturizer. It’s also useful as a post-shaving soother and even baby cream. Talk about multitasking goals! $16/30ml, Birchbox

PRIMER: Let your primer be smart. Grand Central Beauty’s S.M.A.R.T. Skin Perfecting Serum + Primer helps fill in lines and wrinkles while creating a smooth canvas for your makeup (and your skills) to shine. Don’t forget to prime your eyelids as well with Per-Fekt’s Eye Perfection Gel, which can help with anything from puffiness to dark circles. $68/50ml, Birchbox; $45/.3oz, Ulta

FOUNDATION: Want to look airbrushed without actually being airbrushed? Look no further than the beloved Koh Gen Do Aqua Foundation, known for its weightless feel and fantastic coverage. If you can’t find a matching color for you in there, then try Kim Kardashian-West’s favorite Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation and feel famous. $62/1.01oz, Sephora; $62/1oz, Sephora


Viseart Corrector, Contour, Camouflage HD Palette

CREAM CONTOUR: This multitasker from Viseart lets you easily chisel out your face and hide any possible imperfections that might be lurking about. $80, Sephora (see image on left)

BROWS: Anastasia Beverly Hills has changed the brow game with its incredible products. Grab yourself the 5 Element Brow Kit to style those babies and then use the coordinating Brow Wiz, Brow Pen, or Dipbrow in your shade to help accentuate those peepers. $65, Birchbox

EYE SHADOW: There can be only one master palette. Urban Decay’s Naked Palette and its variations are simply unbeatable in color payoff. $54, Ulta

EYELINER: Any time an award-winning tattoo artist decides to work with makeup, I swoon with interest. Kat Von D’s Tattoo Liner in Trooper is ridiculously easy to use and stays put no matter what the day throws at you. Plus, it creates an incredibly precise line for high-drama looks. $19, Sephora

MASCARA: Club Clio’s Kill Volume Mascara stays put with no fuss, coats every lash, and dries quickly with zero clumps. 10-hour color payoff? I’ll take it! $30, Birchbox

SETTING POWDER: We can’t have you not bake your flawless makeup, right?! Dermablend’s high-quality Loose Setting Powder comes in colorless (my favorite), cool beige, and warm saffron (which resembles Ben Nye’s infamous banana powder). I end up looking poreless and feeling fabulous after using this stuff. $27, Ulta

POWDER CONTOUR: Tattoo artist Kat Von D returns for the powder contour with her Shade and Light palette that fine-tunes and corrects any contouring. Lovely, darling. $46, Sephora

BLUSH: Perfectly rosy cheeks are on the way with this Tarteist Blush Palette that lets you play with various pinks and roses to get exactly the glow you’re looking for. $38, Ulta

HIGHLIGHTER: This is honestly a game-changer. BECCA’s Shimmering Skin Perfector produces a perfectly dewy glow that screams luxury. $38, Ulta

LIP LINER: My personal favorite lippie brand, Lipstick Queen, has a fantastic jumbo lip crayon — Lipstick Queen Cupid’s Bow Pencil — that is high in color payoff and nonexistent in lip irritation. $22, Ulta


Christian Louboutin’s Silky Satin Lipcolor

LIPSTICK: If you’re going to splurge, then why not go all-out with Christian Louboutin’s Silky Satin Lipcolor? Bonus points if your shoes match your lips! $90, Sephora (see image on right)

SETTING MIST: Set your fabulous work with Smashbox’s Photo Finish Primer Water and get ready for the paparazzi. You’re looking rich, girl. $32/3.9oz, Sephora

FRAGRANCE: Smelling common is for peasants. You aren’t a peasant, are you? Didn’t think so.

FOR DAY: Tom Ford’s Neroli Portofino will make you smell like an Italian heiress at her beachside estate. Now, where’s my Bellini? $220/1.7oz, Sephora

FOR NIGHT: Guerlain’s Shalimar perfume has been an icon since 1925. It’s even known as the “Forbidden Fragrance,” thanks to its intoxicating aroma. Obviously, your pulse points deserve nothing less. $315/oz, Nordstrom

SKIN CARE: Obviously, skin care at its most luxe follows the Korean Skin Care Method, a 10-20 step routine that’s rigorously followed. Can it be awesome on the skin? Yes. Can it be hell on the wallet? My debit card also says yes.

FACE WIPE: Koh Gen Do Cleansing Spa Water Cloths : To start the makeup removal process, let’s wipe your face down with some fresh (certified organic) cotton wipes soaked in herb-infused mineral water. $39/30 cloths, Sephora


Too-Faced Mascara Melt-Off

EYE MAKEUP REMOVER: Let’s pair up two of my favorites to make sure we get all that Kat Von D off our lids. First, swipe your lashes with Too Faced Mascara Melt-Off to get that stubborn stuff gone. After it soaks in for a minute, wipe it away with a cotton pad soaked in Bobbi Brown Eye Makeup Remover, a lovely concoction that smells like rosewater and is even gentle enough for contact lens wearers. $17/.23oz, Sephora (see image to the left); $28/3.4oz, Sephora

LIPSTICK REMOVER: That fabulous lippie is going need a special wipe. These hard workers from Bite Beauty are specifically made with your lips in mind, giving them a thorough cleanse and treatment. $12/10 wipes, Sephora

OIL CLEANSER: You thought you were done getting your makeup off? Girl, please. No makeup removal is complete without some Eve Lom Cleanser. The teensiest bit goes a long way, and it COMPLETELY empties your pores of any makeup remnants. $80/3.3oz, Sephora

FOAM CLEANSER: Beloved Korean brand AmorePacific has blessed us with this Treatment Cleansing Foam that detoxifies, soothes, and even works as a shaving cream for the men out there who want to splurge. Don’t forget to use it with your Foreo Luna,  a new cleansing brush that’s made to be easier to handle and gentler on the skin than the beloved Clarisonic. $50/4.1oz, Sephora; $169, Ulta

TONER: Perricone MD’s Intensive Pore Minimizer is a fabulous toner to use after cleansing and before exfoliating. It stops oil in its tracks while firming skin. Can you say “adult acne solved?” $40/4oz, Sephora


Tatcha Rice Enzyme Powder

EXFOLIANT: Tatcha is a super luxurious brand that bases all its products on ancient geisha recipes. If it’s good enough for Japan’s loveliest — and in the case of the warrior geishas, the most badass — women, then it’s good enough for me. They carry Rice Enzyme Powders for sensitive skin, oily skin, dry skin, and skin with hyperpigmentation problems. $48/5.1oz, Sephora, see image on right

LIP EXFOLIANT: Anything called a “Pout-O-Matic System” definitely gets my attention, and Bliss is known for making adorably named and awesome products. A Clarisonic for your lips? Yes, please. $48, Birchbox

TONER: The Exuviance SkinRise Bionic Tonic is an awesome wipe that is a perfect ending to the exfoliation process, prepping your skin for some good old-fashioned detox. $45/36 wipes, Ulta

CLAY MASK: Let’s add some Italian luxury. Forghese Fango Purificante is mud. In a jar. But it’s mud that makes you GLOW. You can use this all over your body for an amazing spa treatment as well. $72.50/17.6oz, Birchbox

TONER: Our final toner (I know, right?) is a luxurious gem from Innarah. This solution will balance your pH and prep your skin for soothing ingredients. Ahh, refreshing. $150/3.4oz, Birchbox

MASSAGE: While we’re pampering, let’s massage your face with some facial oil made by monks in the Czech Republic. I’m not kidding. Fresh’s Elixir Ancien is actually based on an ancient recipe, and is only made by one specific group of monks. Ancient beauty secrets totally belong on your bathroom counter, right? $265/1.7oz, Sephora

SHEET MASK: Any skin care line that’s unashamedly nerdy is going to get my coin. Erm, money. NER:D Skincare’s Biocellulose Mask Trio comes with three targeted masks. Choose your treatment, peel off the protective barrier, place it on the skin and relax for 30 minutes. Be sure to pat in any remaining serum! $56/3 masks, Birchbox

SPOT MASKS: Iceland has seemingly captured everyone’s heart, including mine, and Skyn Iceland is partially to blame. Their Face Lift In a Bag provides targeted sheet masks to lift and firm your whole face. I may or may not be planning on using this on my wedding day. $19.95, Birchbox

ESSENCE: SK-II is a brand known best for its essence that soothes, clarifies, and brightens. It’s also awesome for getting baby-soft skin, thanks to its secret ingredient: sake. $165/5oz, Sephora

LIP ESSENCE: Keep those lips happy with an essence just for them. Don’t let Tony Moly’s cute packaging fool you — their Kiss Kiss Lip Essence packs a powerful punch. $9.99, Ulta

EYE ESSENCE: There is no such thing as too much preventive eye care, so treat your eyes to this essence from Whamisa. I can tell you with confidence that it makes my tired eyes look renewed by the morning, no matter how much sleep I (don’t) get. $40/1.4oz, Ulta


Good Genes All-in-One Lactic Acid Treatment

TREATMENT: Sunday Riley, a brand beloved by supermodels, is here to help your DNA with its aptly named Good Genes All-In-One Lactic Acid Treatment. This skin-evening goodness is a godsend, plumping and firming while exfoliating and clarifying. If you’re in doubt, this stuff will most likely help. $105/1oz, Sephora, see image on left

SERUM: Bee venom doesn’t seem like it belongs in skin care, but this coveted ingredient is popping up everywhere. ScarJo’s favorite way to keep wrinkles at bay includes Rodial’s Bee Venom Super Serum so obviously this will be added to my arsenal as soon as I see the first wrinkle. $200/1.05oz, Ulta

EYE SERUM: When I heard there was a brand called Drunk Elephant, I thought it was going to be frou frou and silly. As it turns out, the playful products are filled with powerhouse ingredients. Their Shaba Complex Eye Serum tackles age spots, wrinkles, fine lines, puffiness, and is a generally soothing formula. $85/.5oz, Sephora

AMPOULE: An ampoule is somewhere between a serum and a moisturizer, and while it’s normally contained in the capsules it’s named for, it can also come as a free-flowing liquid. Shaba Shaba’s Honey Bomb is without a doubt the best ampoule. It tones, hydrates, plumps, and is made to make skin glow over time. $40/8.4oz, Glow Recipe

MOISTURIZER: Cult classics in the beauty industry are something that can’t be ignored, and Clark’s Botanicals Smoothing Marine Cream is a sumptuous addition to that list. It’s exfoliating while being anti-inflammatory, which, all together, means very, very happy skin. $115/1.7oz, Birchbox

EYE CREAM: Caudalie’s Vinoperfect line is chock full of wine. Well, okay, it’s chock full of reservatrol, which is an antioxidant in wine that helps combat aging, so that’s the same thing, right? For the ultimate in eye cream, look no further than their Premier Cru the Eye Cream. $99/15ml, Birchbox

SLEEP MASK: Budapest-based brand Omorovicza is known for their lush formulas based on Turkish and Hungarian bath houses. This luscious sleep mask plumps and hydrates skin to leave you feeling dewy and refreshed by morning. $260/1.7oz, Sephora

LIP HYDRATOR: Parisian models are in love with BY TERRY’s Baume de Rose, which soothes even the driest lips, and as its name hints, contains real rose. $60/10g, Birchbox

MIST: Omorovicza’s Queen of Hungary Mist is supposedly modeled after the ancient recipe for Hungary Water, one of the earliest anti-aging elixirs made for Elizabeth of Hungary. According to folklore, it landed her a 20-year-old husband when she was 70, so we’ll take it. $90/3.4oz, Sephora

BATH & BODY: Make like Cleopatra and soak up some incredible wonders.

BODY WASH: Body wash from one of Britain’s leading perfume houses? And it’s inspired by gin?! Penhaligon’s Juniper Sling Bath & Shower Gel is made to transport you to absolute happiness. I think you deserve a cocktail in your bath, don’t you? $45/300ml, Sephora


Fresh’s Rice Sake Bath

BUBBLE BATH: Speaking of bath cocktails, Fresh’s Rice Sake Bath has a heavenly aroma and will leave your skin feeling the softest it’s ever felt in your entire life. Refrain from asking strangers to pet you. $82/13.5oz, Sephora, see image to right.

SCRUB: When you want a body scrub that belongs in a spa, look no further than Tata Harper’s Smoothing Body Scrub. Five biodegradable exfoliants  — Himalayan and Hawaiian sea salts, cranberry fibers, apricot seed powder, and organic sugar — buff your body to absolute smoothness. Paired with the Rice Sake bath, you might cause a veritable explosion of smoothness. I might have to test this theory for science. $70/5oz, Sephora

LOTION: Want instant, non-greasy hydration that immediately soaks into your skin? Maison Caulières Smooth Body Cream helps your skin lock in needed moisture without feeling sticky. $93/200ml, Birchbox

HAIR CARE: Because your lovely locks deserve only the finest.

HYDRATING: If you thought the Russian Imperials were gone, think again. Philip B’s intensely hydrating Russian Amber Imperial Shampoo will moisturize even the driest tresses. Its coordinating Conditioning Crème will leave your hair absolutely luscious. $140/12oz, Birchbox, $150/6oz, Birchbox

VOLUMIZING: If volume is your desired outcome, Texas-produced Number 4 Fleurs de Temps Volumizing Shampoo might be more your style. I don’t need volume and use this anyway because I’m obsessed with the smell and how amazing my hair feels afterward. To keep volume high and frizz gone, use the coordinating conditioner. $72/25oz, Birchbox, $36/8.5oz, Birchbox

CLARIFYING: While all of Drybar’s products are given cheeky names after cocktails and bar terms, this brand is nothing to dismiss. Their Happy Hour Blowout Shampoo and Weightless Conditioner are meant to work in tandem to keep your blowout looking fresh. Used once a week, this duo gets rid of all the crud that gets built up in your hair, leaving it shiny and happy. Each $24/8.5oz, Sephora

CO-WASH & RINSE: Coily, kinky, curly, and dreadlocked hair can rejoice — Madam CJ Walker Beauty Culture has you covered. They have a variety of formulas for all different kinds of hair, but the favorite is the Jamaican Black Castor & Murumuru Oils Ultra-Moisturizing Co-Wash. Paired with its coordinating detangler, your hair will be incredibly soft and ready to take on whatever style you want. $24/12oz, Sephora, $26/8oz, Sephora


Living Proof’s Restore Hair Mask

HAIR MASK: The ultimate in deep hydrating hair masks, Living Proof’s Restore Hair Mask is your once-weekly ticket to happy, healthy hair. $42/8oz, Sephora, see image on left

DRY SHAMPOO: While dry shampoo tends to get powdery and gummy, a texturizing spray gives you lift, volume, and control. Oribe’s Dry Texturizing Spray does all of that with an awesome smell, so it’s perfect after a long weekend. $44/8.5oz, Birchbox

PILLOWCASE: Silk pillowcases used to be the norm, protecting fragile skin and hair from early aging from dreaded sleep creases. Take a cue from Grandma and try a Slip Silk Pillowcase. The breathable fabric won’t leave you feeling sweaty, either. $79, Sephora

FOR MAJOR SPLURGES: Warning: Your wallet will cry.

Kre-At Beauty 24 K Gold Lashes: Yes, you read that right: 24k gold eyelashes. Exclusively available at Barney’s New York, these falsies have real gold foil on them. Occasionally you can also find them with actual diamonds on the lash strip. Because false lashes aren’t glam enough, obviously. Currently these gold lovelies are out of stock, but they were last offered at their sale price of $236.

Iluminage Skin Smoothing Laser: Ugh, who wants to get all dolled up just to go to the dermatologist’s office and them have them take off all your makeup just to get anti-wrinkle treatments? Now you can smooth out (and possibly damage) your skin in the comfort of your own home for the bargain price of $595. I’ll stick to hoping my good genes kick in, thanks. $595, Ulta

Givenchy Le Soin Noir L’extrait: A three-week skin treatment with black algae sap extract, this $590 mega-splurge consists of a day treatment and a night treatment. Some say it’s lackluster; other swear by using it twice a year. By the way? It’s one ounce of product, total. Half an ounce per tube. That makes this $590 per ounce. That’s almost the price of half an ounce of real gold. $590, Ulta

Now that I’ve drooled on my keyboard and cried over the fact that I’m not a wealthy heiress, I’m going to see what I can redeem for Birchbox points and Ulta points. #luxelifebrokewallet. Enjoy your National Splurge Day, and try to spend somewhat responsibly.*

*We aren’t responsible for you maxing out all your cards to buy *all the things*.

Charlotte Smith is an esthetician licensed in Tennessee and Georgia. She’s married to a lumberjack version of Deadpool, is obsessed with huskies, is straight up in quarter-life crisis mode, and loves pretty much anything that could be considered creepy.

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