Mimosas are fine, like cotton briefs. They aren’t fancy or presumptuous; they have a job and they get it done. Mimosas give us an excuse to drink in the morning, during Sunday brunch, or while celebrating at a bridal shower. While their value cannot be dismissed, mimosas can be improved upon. Petite and elegant, they lack the bang-for-the-buck that you can get with a shot or two of whiskey, tequila, or vodka. We’re not drinking for our health, after all. If we’re going to invest our caloric intake in alcohol, it should deliver a decent buzz-factor, if not actual stumbling to the bathroom and back.

That’s where The Manmosa comes in. Like ditching the cotton briefs for a sexy thong, The Manmosa delivers on its promises. Drinking one of these versions of The Manmosa allows alcohol enthusiasts to retain their dignity, drink elegant and delicious concoctions, and get pretty drunk at brunch or, let’s be frank, any time of the day or night.

Imagine, if you will, a group of dainty mimosas, minding their own business. Then along comes this Manmosa with a fragile ego and a need to explain. “Well, ACTUALLY, this is how it’s done…”

Note: Despite its brawny name, the Manmosa is a gender neutral cocktail. Anyone who identifies with kickass alcoholic breakfast beverages should feel free to enjoy.

Note the second: There was supposed to be a hilarious video chat with Kelly and S&C founder Nanea Hoffman right here. But Nanea’s recording app did not work. She swears it is not because she was “taste-testing” too much. They really did prepare.

Note III, the revenge: Nanea did not have juice for her Manmosa. So, she used one of her daughter’s Capri Sun pouches. It was delish.

The Lazy Manmosa

Sometimes drinking priorities can clash, making decisions difficult. One priority is maintaining a nice buzz or getting drunk to let off steam. Another priority is to ease into and enjoy the experience, which is more difficult to do if you’re throwing back shots. A third consideration is the amount of money and liquor that you may or may not have at hand.

The Lazy Manmosa is an ideal solution to clashing drinking priorities. It’s effective. It’s cheap. It’s easy. This Manmosa is ideal for a Friday afternoon after a particularly hard week, like when the president of your country is an idiot and turns his back on the rest of the world, undoing decades of hard work toward peace and a better earth for our children. Here’s the recipe:

• A 16-ounce glass, like a pub glass
• A bottle of sparkling wine
• Juice. What kind? Well, what do you have? You can stay traditional and use orange juice, or grab some cranberry juice or lemonade. It’s up to you!

1. Pour about a half of the bottle of sparkling wine into the glass.
2. Pour some juice into the glass, as much as you prefer.
3. Sip it. Maybe while relaxing in a hammock. Or reading comments on any blog post, because that will definitely make you want to drink.

The Manmosa for Classy Daydrinkers

You are classy. You have a stocked liquor cabinet, with both white and red wines. You need a refreshing drink. You want a buzz but you may have to go back to work after lunch. The Manmosa for Classy Daydrinkers delivers what you need. This drink is like expensive jeans with a blazer and fine knit tee, business casual but still lookin’ fine. Think sangria with a delightfully fizzy finish, flexible and elegant. Or a red lipstick and a smoky eye that takes you from day to night. Here’s the recipe:

• A 16-ounce glass, like a pub glass
• A bottle of sparkling wine
• A bottle of white or red wine, your preference
• Fruit. Any kind, seriously. Except bananas. More like strawberries, blueberries, oranges, lemons, limes, peaches, raspberries, and grapes
• Juice if you want it (optional)
• Additional libations (optional); a shot of vodka is a solid bet for this Manmosa

1. Cut the fruit and muddle it in the bottom of the glass.
2. Add equal parts sparkling wine and red/white wine.
3. Add juice and additional liquor if you want. Stir.
4. Put some ice in there, if you want.

If you can, make The Manmosa for Classy Daydrinkers in advance – omit the ice – so that the fruit can soak. If you can’t, no worries – drink up!

The Impress Them Manmosa

Ready to dress to impress? This is the formal wear of The Manmosa world. We’re talking Armani tuxedos and who-are-you-wearing gowns, complete with Spanx and tape to keep everything together. This Manmosa also has ALL the liquor, so a well-stocked cabinet is a must. Here’s the recipe:

• A 16-ounce glass, like a pub glass
• A bottle of sparkling wine
• A shot of gin
• A shot of vodka
• A shot of tequila
• A shot of white rum
• Some triple sec
• Lemon juice
• Simple syrup, agave, or honey, if you want.

1. Combine the shots of ALL the liquor in the glass. Shake or stir.
2. Add the champagne, as much as will fit in the glass (or as much as you want).
3. Taste it. Is it sweet enough? Too sweet? If not sweet enough, add simple syrup, agave, or honey to taste. If too sweet, add lemon juice.
4. Serve over ice.

Keep in mind that you are not going anywhere after The Impress Them Manmosa, other than to bed with a couple of aspirin and plenty of water. Let’s be honest, you will only be going to bed after any of these Manmosas. When you consider the bang for the buck, though, it’s all worth it!

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