If you do it right, you can be addicted to everything

By “it,” I mean taking online quizzes. I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety, depression, and – wait for it – low self-esteem. I tend to avoid rejection. I’m attracted to low-risk situations in which I get the answer “yes” on a regular basis.

There’s no better place to get a “yes” than online quizzes. Some great examples:

“Are you too dramatic for your own good?” Yes. Shocker, I know.

“Are you a real bro’s bro?” Yes. So I’m not a dude. What.

“Are you addicted to food?” Yes. Wait, what?

I tucked that tidbit away from my therapist, with whom I have been meeting for eleven years. At my next counseling appointment, I said, “I’m addicted to food and you didn’t even bother to tell me?”

My therapist paused, then said, “Did you take another online quiz?”

“Yes,” I said. There was no point in denying it. “It was Are You Addicted to Food? I answered 19 out of the 20 questions with a yes.”

“What were some of the questions?” she asked.

I thought for a moment. “Okay, one was ‘Have you ever felt hungry?’ And I was like, duh, every day.”

She nodded. “Go on.”

“Another was ‘Do you hide food?’ Well, yes, because I have two teenage boys. If I didn’t hide food, it would be gone. They practically snatch food out of my hands.”

“Any more?” asked my therapist.

“Okay, this one – ‘Do you eat in private so no one else can see you?’”

“Well, do you?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but I really don’t want to share. Oh, and another question was, ‘At get-togethers, are you more interested in the food than the people?’ Heck yes, I’m an introvert!”

“And what website was this quiz on?” she asked.

“I don’t quite remember. I think maybe Food Addicts something. I just remember the logo had an FA followed by a cross, because I thought that was not a great branding choice.”

“Did you ever consider the source?” she asked. “Maybe they want to get as many people as possible to sign up.”

“So you’re saying they want me!” I cheered.

I swear, she rolled her eyes. “Is there any way I can convince you to stay away from online quizzes? They seem to feed your anxiety.”

I took a moment to consider the question. Was it realistic for me to not take online quizzes? Did I really want to stop? I mean, I’m sure I could stop whenever I wanted.

“Well, I make no promises,” I said, “but I can try. I mean, I might slip one in now and then. Also, that’s what she said.”

“Okay, here’s a compromise,” said my therapist. “After each online quiz you take that causes your anxiety levels to shoot up, you must do a meditation. Here’s one that is perfect for you.”

She grabbed her phone and showed me the following meditation. I have done several online meditations over the last year, and this is by far the best. I can’t wait to take another online quiz, and not just because I will be getting some acceptance…but because I will get to decompress with this meditation.


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