SPOILER ALERT! * Seriously, SPOILERS! I don’t mean to get all Star Wars spoilery on you, but a lot of people get sensitive about spoilers on the internet, so consider yourself warned. Just go and watch the episode already.

SO! Here are my Top Favorite Moments from the Season Five premier of New Girl (not necessarily in any sort of order because I don’t know your life, and there’s little order in mine):

  • The introduction of CeCe’s mother,which ushers in ALL THE FEELS, because whether we admit it or not, we spend our lives seeking the approval and love of our parents. And I’ll just put it out there: I have a whole lot of angst for CeCe’s mom. She may have her reasons, but when it comes down to it she dismisses Schmidt and his love for CeCe (which, as we all know, is all-consuming and true to his core).

Sweatpants & TV | New Girl | Season 5 Episode 1

Which leads me to my next favorite moment:

  • The YEAR OF US: In past seasons, New Girl has introduced different characters and storylines, some who were interesting and actually kind of worked and progressed the storyline (Fawn Moscato the uber-driven councilperson, Bearclaw, Tran) and those who, well, didn’t (that thing Nick dated for a while who turned out to be rich, Sam Sweeney, Coach). But in this premier, Jess makes it (somewhat redundantly) clear that this is the YEAR OF US, and that the Lofties are reunited and it FEELS SO GOOD.Sweatpants & TV | New Girl | Season 5 Episode 1
  • The relationship between Schmidt and Nick: If you’ve read my New Girl recaps in the past, you know I basically watch this show for Schmidt. And I love the friendship between Schmidt and Nick, who have stuck together since college. I think we all have one of those friends; that one person who can glance over and size up your mood and know how to soothe you, who will show up in the middle of the night with a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream, or who will walk down the aisle and stand at your side when you take the biggest steps of your life.
  • Hiding the Bump Game: How many ways can we hide Zooey’s pregnancy? Let me count the ways: Champagne bottle, up shots, clip board, SCOOTER, blankets; I know show runners want to have her lying/sitting but come on, you guys. She falls down the stairs? Number one, that’s bad for the baby and WE ALL KNOW IT. But otherwise, it’s a new year, new cast members (helloooooo, Megan Fox), so let’s have some fresh story ideas, please? I can’t imagine how scary it must be to have to write around the pregnancy of the main character IRL (although I know Zooey’s baby has got to be the most gorgeous doe-eyed darling ever – move over Princess Charlotte), but let’s treat it with the intelligent irreverence that New Girl is known for, and not Will & Grace it, please?

Sweatpants & TV | New Girl | Season 5 Episode 1

  • And please let me take this moment to mention that when I was a little girl, my father (bless his heart) constructed an eight-foot pole with an orange flag exactly like this one on the back of my bicycle so that the people driving large pickup trucks in the sleepy hamlet I grew up in would see me as I tore up the streets. (Yeah. I’ve always been this badass.)
  • Schmidt owns Bollywood

Sweatpants & TV | New Girl | Season 5 Episode 1

(But only after his awesome new shampoo BUT NO HAIRCUT BECAUSE NO JULIAN).

One thing I love about Schmidt is how much he completely, shamelessly loves CeCe and always has.

Sweatpants & TV | New Girl | Season 5 Episode 1

Despite roadblocks and circumstances, he has known since their first moments together that she’s the only one for him. Their chemistry is palpable and something I’d aspire to if I wasn’t already lucky enough to have it with my own Beloved. *unabashed nod to my husband*

Look: Love, when it’s real and worth it, is hard work. And Schmidt has been and is willing to – damn downright determined, even – make it work with his Indian Princess. That’s what it’s all about, and I love watching him make her feel like the most important person in the world by simply loving her.

Schmidt Kiss you gif

  • Jess’s bad jokes: Oh, Jess. SO many bad jokes and off-putting puns. But we still love you and your relentless spirit. If only you didn’t have to go and get knocked up and force Megan Fox upon us.

Sweatpants & TV | New Girl | Season 5 Episode 1

  • Nick has to be the Best Man Ever and of course nails it with picking up the wrong Indian woman from the airport. Bless Nick: he tries so hard, but being Nick, he always screws it up. And, also because he’s Nick, he forms a bond with this stranger and almost loves her; he’s basically kidnapped her and although she doesn’t speak English and keeps trying to escape, he feels like they’ve gone through something together.

Nick and Not CeCes mom S5Ep1

  • Schmidt’s crestfallen faces when he finds out CeCe didn’t tell her mom that she is getting married and when her mom didn’t give her blessing. Which, it turns out, CeCe and the Lofties don’t even need.

  • The blessing of friends: So CeCe’s mother doesn’t give them her blessing – so what? Here’s the thing about family, kids: You can make your own. You are not – and should not be – limited to the blood or circumstance that Life dictates is your “family.” You get to choose those who fill your life: friends into family, cultivating your own tribe of loves and cohorts and weirdos who become the cherry filling of your life. That’s the awesome thing about growing up and becoming your own true self: You get to choose.

So choose wisely, and rock on. Every day you can be your own New Girl.

Sweatpants & TV | New Girl | Season 5 Episode 1



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