Episode 1: The Battle Joined
Episode 2: Surrender
Episode 3: All Debts Paid
Episode 4: Of Lost Things
Episode 5: Whisky & Freedom
Episode 6: A. Malcolm
Episode 7: Creme de Menthe
Episode 8: First Wife
Episode 9: The Doldrums
Episode 10: Heaven & Earth
“What country, friends, is this?”
We open on Claire, asleep on her makeshift raft, slowly drifting towards shore. A wave rolls her under and wakes her, and she sees that she’s near land and starts swimming in earnest. She unwraps her bundle of clothes and starts wringing them and getting sorted out. To her concern, Claire recognizes that she was adrift for far too long to be on Grand Turk, as planned. She has no idea where she is, but it’s big, and appears to be deserted.
Claire starts hiking inland after she gets dressed, trying to find water and any kind of civilization. She does find signs of others here and there – she picks up a chunk of flint and is able to build herself a fire when she stops for the first night.
When Claire awakens the first morning, she’s being eaten alive by ants, which leave her with a nasty set of bites on her legs. She doctors herself as best she can, which isn’t great under the circumstances. Claire trudges on, growing weaker and more tired by the moment. When she wakes up the second morning, it’s courtesy of a very large python crawling over her on its way to wherever pythons go, first thing in the morning.
On the morning of the third day, Claire’s in rough shape. Her bites are becoming infected, and she’s weak with hunger and thirst. Nevertheless, she persists, and hears a man’s voice preaching at the edge of the jungle. Is she hallucinating? A dog barks as she finally collapses from exhaustion.
Hacienda De La Fuente
Claire awakens tied to a bed; a glass of water just out of her reach. She starts to panic, and a woman – the Mamacita – comes in to attend to her. The Mamacita roughly pours the water into Claire’s mouth. Poor bedside manner aside, she seems to mean Claire no harm. She explains (in Spanish) that she tied Claire up because she wouldn’t stop scratching herself. Claire pleads with her to be untied, and the Mamacita scoops up all of Claire’s clothes and disappears.
A woman and a doctor
When Claire awakens again, it’s to Father Fogden hovering over her, delighted that Claire is awake, and even more delighted that she’s English. The father unties her and props her up, and gives her some food and water. “Take care not to drink too quickly,” he tells her. “I know,” Claire says, somewhat irritably. “I’m a doctor.” He’s surprised that she’s a woman, but quickly gets on board. “Healer of the sick! Like Saint Brigid!” He is superstitious and thinks Claire is responsible for their recent bout of good luck – their goats have thrived in the short time she’s been present.
The loon and the coconut
Claire briefly explains that she needs to find her husband, and it turns out that there is a village nearby. If she can get on a fishing boat, which can get her about a 30-mile radius from wherever they are, they’re around two days from Jamaica after that. Claire says she’ll leave the next day. Father Fogden pushes her back into bed, thinking she’s going to need to rest for a few weeks to get her strength back. “Coco says it is far too dangerous,” Fogden says, crossing the room to pick up a coconut that he appears to be consulting about the matter. Wuh-oh. We have a whackadoo, here. He chastises the coconut for staring at Claire. Claire smiles nervously.
No love lost
Mamacita is summoned to fetch Claire something to wear. “Ermenegilda’s dress, perhaps?” “Too small for that cow!” Mamacita snaps. Claire, a cow? Mamacita adds insult to injury by ostentatiously sniffing Claire and declaring that she stinks. Well, fair enough, probably. Mamacita draws Claire a hot bath and sets out a clean robe and soap and a towel, and Claire can’t get into it fast enough.
At dinner that night, Claire learns how Father Fogden, an English Priest, came to live on the island of Hispaniola with the Mamacita – who turns out to be his ex-wife’s mother. As a priest in love, he and his lover, Ermenegilda, ran away together from Cuba to escape the consequences of their union. Soon after their arrival on Hispaniola, Ermenegilda took ill and died. The Mamacita never left.
“That whore must go.”
Claire mentions again that she would like to leave the next morning, and Father Fogden says heavens no, he can’t let her travel alone, he’ll go with her. Next week. She challenges him, and he doubles down. “You’re not well enough! Maybe in TWO weeks!” The two argue briefly until the Mamacita interrupts. She thinks Claire ought to hit the bricks, herself. As the Father and the Mamacita bicker, Claire wanders off.
Fogden comes in, apologizing for the Mamacita’s behavior. She fears he will forget her daughter, or may be trying to replace her with Claire. She needn’t have bothered worrying – “When you love someone as much as I loved Ermenegilda, it never leaves you.” Claire tears up, and he finally gets it – she must be reunited with Jamie as soon as possible. The two agree to leave for the village in the morning, provided Coco agrees. Great! And yikes!
Mr. Willoughby, I presume?
The next morning when Claire wakes up, she isn’t taking any chances. She pretends to consult with Coco, who appears to tell her that the time is right. She finds her clothes have been washed and mended by Mamacita, and she’s ready to go. Father Fodgen walks in and is about to say something to her when the Mamacita starts screaming from outside – it seems that a Chinese sailor has killed and eaten one of their beloved goats. Chinese, you say?
Mamacita saw the Chinaman and many other sailors on the beach that morning, with broken sails. Could it be that Jamie has shipwrecked on Hispaniola? Claire demands to know where the ship is, now. The Father is useless, but Mamacita sees her chance to get rid of Claire and tells her to run, pointing her in the direction of the ship.
Putting the ship back together
We cut to Jamie, Fergus, and some of the other men on the beach; their boat moored far offshore. They’ve brought parts to the beach and pulled over, so to speak, to fix the damage done by the rough waters they encountered. The Captain, along with several other men, is dead. Jamie has been put in charge of the men and the Captain’s quarters, if not the ship itself.
“Mac Dubh’s wife turns up in the most unlikely of places, does she no?”
Jamie’s crew has packed up and is back on the ship, just as Claire gets to the beach. She’s got a nasty cut on her arm. Claire is too far away to be heard shouting, so she uses a piece of mirror to signal Jamie with the sun. He pulls out a spyglass and sees her waving at him. Jamie and a small contingent head back to the beach, where the two are reunited.
Mr. Willoughby sews Claire’s arm up as she fills Jamie in on her misadventures. For Jamie’s part, he’s not all that concerned that he’s a wanted man. “Dinna fash, Sassenach. I was a wanted man when first we met.” He doesn’t intend to be found, let alone captured.
Jamie tells Claire that he has given his blessing to Fergus and Marsali. He decides that since they have time, why not have weird old Father Fogden marry them now? It would be a rare moment of joy for the men, who haven’t had any in ages. They get Mr. Willoughby to apologize to Father Fogden for the goat with a chicken, and the wedding is a go.
“Fergus says he kens what to do, and I’ll like it fine. I’m just not sure that’s true.”
As Claire helps dress Marsali for the wedding, she asks if Marsali is nervous. She’s not. There’s one thing she wants to know, though – how can she and Fergus make love and not have a baby? She wants a baby eventually, just not immediately. She’s also a bit nervous that she won’t like sex, based on her observations of her mother. She reckons that Claire enjoys sex with Jamie, and she wants the same for herself. Claire says she’ll fill her in on everything when they get back to the ship. “Maybe you’re not the devil, after all,” Marsali smiles.
That can’t be orthodox
The wedding is among one of the finer spectacles I’ve ever seen, owing to the fact that both Marsali and Father Fogden are consummate characters. He starts by attempting to marry her to the wrong man, because Fergus is missing a hand. Marsali assures the Father that she doesn’t mind, and Fogden asks if he’s lost his cock, too. “If you’d hurry up and get on with it, I could find out!” Marsali snaps.
“And do you have a name, too, and a cock? I cannot marry you without it; it’s not allowed.”
When the father gets to Fergus, he gives his first name only, and Fergus briefly panics until Jamie steps in. “Fraser. His name is Fergus Claudel Fraser.” He and Claire beam like proud parents, and Fergus is delighted. Tears! He’s been Jamie’s for so long, it’s wonderful to hear it made “official”, so to speak. “May God bless your union!” Father Fogden finishes, to the applause of the small crowd. He approaches Claire and Jamie and crosses them. “And may God bless your union, as well.”
“Bolt the door.”
That night, aboard the ship, Claire can’t get enough of Mr. Willoughby’s heavily spiked turtle soup. She’s running a fever from the cut on her arm, and now it’s Jamie’s turn for revenge. She hands him the needle to jab HER in the arse with a dose of penicillin. He can’t, of course, but they compromise – she stabs, he pushes the plunger.
Despite the fever, Claire is feeling quite saucy, and the two playfully banter. “This must be what it’s like to make love in hell, with a burning she-devil!” Jamie exclaims. Willoughby interrupts to inquire as to whether Claire would like any more turtle soup – a known aphrodisiac. “She’s had quite enough!” Jamie blurts mid-thrust, attempting to quiet Claire. “No, she hasn’t!” Claire shouts, grinning.
- Was it just me, or did the theme song have even more extra island flavor this week?
- Father Fodgen offers Claire some “yupa” at dinner to smoke. The yupa plant (specifically, the ground seeds) is the source of a hallucinogenic drug used by many indigenous tribes in South Africa and throughout the Caribbean. This could explain why Father Fogden talks to coconuts – he’s high as a kite all the time. Wisely, Claire turns down the offer. Mr. Willoughby did not make the same choice when presented with it before the wedding.
- Keen-eyed viewers might have caught Claire squirreling away a piece of a mirror into her pocket at Father Fogden’s. This is what she later uses to signal Jamie at the beach.
- The beetles that Father Fogden used to clean the goat’s skull were likely dermestid beetles, which are often used for the purpose in taxidermy. It takes about two days for them to fully clean a skull. The other option – boiling – is messy, smelly, and can damage the remains.
- The beetles serve another purpose – a callback to when Claire first gets to Edinburgh upon her return and visits the charlatan’s sick sister, Margaret Campbell, who has the visions. Margaret said “Abandawe will devour ye!” The Father says that his flesh-eating beetles come from a sacred cave in Jamaica known as Abandawe. Claire picks up on this. “A place of great power,” says Fogden. “People disappear there.” Another stone circle equivalent, perhaps?
- Apparently, all one needs to be married is a last name and a functioning penis. Good to know, I guess?
- As refreshing as it is to see a woman on television unabashedly enjoying sex with her husband – even seducing him – it’s doubly refreshing to watch Jamie get her consent not once, but three times, when he is unsure whether she knows what she is doing and is fully in her right mind. Bravo, Jamie!
Join us next week for Episode 12: “The Bakra.”
Image Credits: Sweatpants & Coffee.