Mary, Mary, where you goin’ to? You’re going to kick some limey ass, apparently, with the ultimate reward of reuniting with the second of your wayward sons. It’s all hex, pie and rock n’roll this episode, and if you thought that pie was delicious—how about the visuals in that opening scene?

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Torture Porn

I was pretty sure the opening scene was a hallucination, I just assumed it was mine. Okay, okay, so it was totally gross that Sam was in bed with his torturer, the icy Toni Revell, but he was in bed. Shirtless. And there was chest and biceps and shaggy hair, and back and shoulders and dimples, and I know I’m not supposed to objectify people but by CHUCK that man is attractive. Of course, it’s horrible that Sam is being mentally and emotionally manipulated—terrible that his mind is at risk. But if I get to look at that? It’s almost worth it.

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Say Anything

“Don’t make things needlessly complicated, as you humans tend to do.” Solid advice, Cas! Unfortunately it’s not that easy to follow. Dean and Mary’s caginess with each other is perfectly understandable. Dean is worried about Mary and her ability to understand her strange new world. Mary is worried about finding Sam, and, when she does, having to explain to him that the Yellow Eyed Demon curse was something she started. They’ll work through it—they have to—but until then, being overwhelmed is something they have in common (other than looking great in the dead guy robes.) Because the other thing they share? They’re hunters. They hunt. It’s who they are. And Mary (and Baby) won’t be put in the corner.

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Play it Again, Sam

Sam, much to my dismay, figures out that he’s not in the bedroom so much as the basement and returns back to himself, only to find out that Toni’s version of pillow talk is now going to be gained through a wicked assortment of knives and tools. I have to wonder—what is her ultimate goal here? Why is she torturing info from Sam instead of just working with them? After all, her co-hort, Mick Davies, calls her a bad girl, and seems to want peace, love and understanding. So where is this all going?

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Basic Witch

Rowena is back! Fresh from Boca Raton, Florida, where she finally, after 300+ years, decided to retire with a boring old rich guy who’s definitely going to die before she does. Unfortunately for her, her boil of a boy has returned to rope her into helping him corrall Lucifer back into the cage. First job? Finding him. And where is that feisty fallen angel? Funny you should ask…

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The Devil You Know

I’m not gonna lie—Lucifer? For me? Will always be Mark Pellegrino. But an interesting twist has put him in the body of Rick Springfield, aka Vince Vincente, an aging, B-level rock star with a broken and guilty heart. See, Vince’s old love killed himself after he treated her badly and he’s never gotten over it. So when she comes to him, telling him they can be reunited if he’ll just let her in, of course he does. My question: has Lucifer done this before? Hasn’t he needed people to invite him in as himself? Nick, the original vessel, accepted Lucifer as himself in hopes he would avenge his the deaths of his family. Sam accepted Lucifer as himself in order to trap him. Castiel accepted Lucifer as himself in hopes he would save the world from The Darkness. But the ability to jump from vessel to vessel? To trick someone into acceptance? Is that new for him? What do you think?

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Mother Son Dance

“I can’t believe I’m once again in some dank hole, seeking the devil. When does it end?” Poor Rowena, having to work with Crowley again. I have to say, I love Rowena still, and her power is not to be underestimated. Crowley knows what we do—it’s important to keep her in the game. She’s too important a piece to take from the board. And Ruth Connell and Mark Sheppard’s chemistry? Divine. Long live our redheaded queen. ‘Cause that witch? Slays.

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Demariel

I was asked by some to retire “Destielary” because of, and I quote, “squick.” Fair enough. Demariel it shall be. I’m loving these three together, and how Cas is trying to help Dean negotioate the incoporation of Mary into their world. As much as I like armchair psychologist Cas, however, I’m still advocating for more badass. I’d love for Mary to see what he’s really capable of, and what an angel can really do.

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Rock and Roll Never Forgets

Lucifer greets Crowley with a smile. “Get off my furniture, squatter,” he snarls, and Crowley remains as self-possessed as ever, trying to offer to be hell’s middle man while Lucifer regains heaven as his own. Rowena tries to help when oblivion is offered instead, paralyzing Lucifer while Crowley douses him in sulfuric acid. Of course, it goes bad, as it was bound to do, and Crowley bugs out without Rowena, leaving her to become Lucifer’s prisoner. Poor Rowena. Speaking of mamas who have it rough? Mary’s got nothing on her. Side note? Lucifer’s ultimate angelic reveal? Pretty cool. I love seeing those shadow angel wings in action.

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Along Comes Mary

Dean ends up captured by Toni, too (damn her inclusive knowledge of spells and sigils!) and asks Sam “Who’s Angry Spice?” which cracks me up. Toni deadpans about them knowing nothing and Dean cracks me up again with his shackle-shaking delivery of “Right. What a waste.” And just as Toni is about to shove a knife under Dean’s eyelid? She hears, “Get away from my boys.” OH, YEAH! “Drop it. Ground,” Mary says, before she cold-cocks Toni with her pistol and reminds her, “That’s the ground.” And I am LOVING THIS! Of course she and Toni fight, but the Winchesters ultimately end up victorious and it is awesome. Bless Samantha Smith for her return. She is wonderful. And then some other stuff happens where Mick comes and offers an olive branch and blah blah blah but I am too distracted by my Winchesters to notice. I don’t know how long we’ll have Mary, or what her ultimate story end will be, so I’m going to appreciate her while we have her.

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Mom’s Home

So Mary can’t cook—she remembered the pie. Dean finally gets his pie? That earned a tip of the hat from me. Sam stares at her like a starstruck little puppy of love as Dean comically shovels in his pie and Mary muses that they should call the internet and research (“So close,” Dean says through the blueberries.) Later, Sam brings Mary tea and John’s journal, and it is beautiful if bittersweet. “Mom?” sam says, his eyes filled with tears, “For me just…um… having you here? Fills in the biggest blank.” And Mary finally holds him and I am in tears. Baby Sam, not so much a baby anymore but always her baby, finally gets to really experience the love he has longed for his whole life. And as “Lost Angel” by Heart (one of my favorite bands, it must be said) plays, Dean looks at pictures as he drinks his beer, both troubled and touched. Mary opens John’s journal, confronted by what John became, and, upset, closes her eyes. Sam stares at the ceiling, puzzled yet somewhat content. And Toni and Mick head for the airport, trying to decide exactly what should become of the American Hunters while the “psychopath” Mr. Ketch prepares for what’s to come.

A psychopath with a case full of implements? Uh oh. That can’t be good. Cross your fingers that the only torture we next see is of the shirtless variety. See you next week for episode three, “The Foundry”!

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