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Sweatpants & TV | Supernatural, Season 13, Episode 12: “Various and Sundry Villains”

Another episode that hearkens back to the show’s roots? Yes please! Jack may still be MIA, but that means more one-on-two Winchester time for us, and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

Funk Soul Brother

After an opening where we see the persuasive spell casting power of two young witches, Jamie and Jennie Plum, we head to the HuntCave where Sam is still bummed out, but he briefly speaks French when he identifies a book and SWOON! Dean has culled a small alternate reality library in an effort to find Jack. Dean is confident they will. Sam? Decidedly not. Dean leaves Sam to do his “Sam thing” while he goes on a beer run, musing about Cas, who is…

Hellsome Prison Blues

…still in Asmodeus’ slammer, along with Lucifer. Lucifer is taunted about the size of his stick (not a euphemism, until it hugely becomes one) by a demon named Dipper, who laughs when Lucifer grabs his cell bars and the warding shocks him big time. Lucifer bemoans his lack of grace, which, as we remember, was stolen by Alterna-verse Michael, and pleads with Castiel to spot him some of his. Castiel is having NONE. OF. IT. In fact, he taunts Lucifer, too and gets great, smirking satisfaction from it.

The Kenny G Spot

The Plum sisters make an easy mark of Dean, pleading for his help before slipping him a hex bag and doping him with a love spell. As the soft jazz plays, Dean sees Jamie as his true love, kissing her chastely. She comes to, asking him his name, dazzling him, which eventually sends him back to the Bunker, twirling with his beer in hand. Sam asks if he’s all right. “Am I all right?” Dean asks with a grin. “I’m in love.”

He tells a puzzled Sam about Jamie and his “twitterpated” state as he pulls out the Black Grimoire—the powerful spellbook they refused to give to Rowena. It’s a gift. For Jamie. Who asked for it specifically. Sam knows what’s up. He tries to tell Dean Jamie is a witch or a demon, and Dean tells him to be nice, ‘cause she’s got a sister! And wouldn’t it be cute if the “less attractive” siblings fell in love. (Bahahahaha!) Sam takes his car keys and Dean says, in a hilarious sing-song, that he will walk because “it’s GOR-geous outside!” (Man, Jensen Ackles sells comedy.) When Sam tries to stop him, Dean knocks him out, thanking him for the good talk and goes to meet Jamie.

The Witch Is Back!

Dean gives the book to Jamie, who tells him to close his eyes for a kiss and makes to kill him with a hammer. Just in time, Sam swerves in in Baby, determined to save his brother. Unfortunately, when he points a gun at Dean’s “soulmate”, Dean attacks him and they have a rough and tumble. The sisters leave with the book, and though Sam finds the hex bag, he is choked by Dean until a flash separates them and the bag ignites, seemingly on its own.

Of course, it’s just magic by one of the most powerful witches…alive? “Hello, boys,” says Rowena, leaving the boys gaping in her presence.

Temper Tantrum

Dipper the demon warns Castiel that Asmodeus has “big plans for you.” Cas and Lucifer talk about Michael’s inevitable return, after he is done visiting all forms of torture on Mary Winchester. Upset, Cas demands Lucifer stop lying. He then delights in telling Lucifer truths about Jack—his love of movie heroes, that he is thoughtful and emotional, and he reminds Cas so much of Kelly. This, of course, pisses Lucifer off, which causes his angel mojo to return. Dipper? He’s screwed.

I Write the Book

Back at the Bunker, Rowena tells the boys of her resurrection and painful, long recovery after Lucifer’s very thorough killing of her. She wants the Black Grimoire so she can release the bindings put on her by the Grand Coven to limit her magic. She’d previously put a tracking spell on it so she can find it. Of course the boys, who do NOT want her more powerful, say they don’t need her help, which isn’t true. Side note? They tell her Crowley is dead, and she is surprisingly hurt by that. (Guess nothing really can stop a mother from loving her kid.)

They get back to talking of the Grimoire and Rowena mocks Dean by asking if the Plums got to fifth base. Dean says there is no such thing. “Oh, you poor, sheltered boy,” Rowena taunts, and both Winchesters seem to want to know what fifth base is and how one gets there and I will figure it out myself if I get to show them (I’m just sayin’.)

The Walking Dead

Turns out the Plum sisters want the Black Grimoire to resurrect their witch mom who taught them everything. But more important? Sam, Dean and Rowena are on the hunt for the it. Rowena tells Dean to ask local women about the Plums—she senses other girls don’t like them too much. Sam stays behind to babysit Rowena and she asks if she can use her ways on the locals. “I’m very sure you can,” says Sam, “But I’m also very sure you shouldn’t.” “Bless your precious heart,” says Rowena. “You just described my entire life.” Sam and Rowena end up having a genuine heart to heart about the fact that they have both seen the true face of Lucifer and felt the helplessness he put into their very souls. Jared Padalecki and Ruth Connell sell the scene totally, inspiring real sympathy for both of them and God bless the casting department, amiright?

Prison Escape

Cas tells Lucifer he will die alone and unmourned to anger him further, and this seems to please a patrolling Dipper. Unfortunately for him, Cas is setting Dipper up to get stabbed by a rage-motivated Lucifer, who breaks out of his cell with ease. Cas smites Dipper and the odd couple makes to leave, before they are rounded on by demons. “Good times,” says Lucifer, and something tells me those demons are not long for any world. Later, Lucifer tries to take Cas’ grace, but Cas has learned from his mistakes, and he stabs Lucifer through the heart. And it looks like it hurts.

Mom-bie

Dean convinces an annoyed local store clerk to tell him where the Plums are. But when he comes back to the Impala, Rowena has stepped outside, overwhelmed by her and Sam’s talk. Or is she? She casts a spell with a hex bag that literally stops the boys in their tracks and heads for the sisters herself. Turns out she was the one who turned them on to the book, promising to raise their mom if they then gave it to her. The sisters don’t think they need her, though—their magic proof zombie mom is evidence of that. They sick Mom on Rowena, who runs for her life, while Sam struggles to reach the hex bag and an annoyed Dean burns it, setting them free.

Dean and Sam approach the girls with witch-killing bullet loaded guns, but the sisters toss them around like so many rag dolls. “Sammy? They’re really weirdly strong!” Dean manages to mutter. “I think it’s probably the spell,” Sam gasps, as the Plums hand them their asses.

Rowena, fighting the Mom-bie, manages to shoot it in the head per Dean’s suggestion and then she cast a spell on the sisters who kill each other gruesomely.

Turn the Page

The boys take the book from Rowena, leaving her bereft—helpless. Later, they talk about their experiences in the Bunker. “You know Rowena’s not our friend, right?” Dean says, and Sam concurs. So why, then, did Sam give Rowena the page in the book to break her bindings? Because Sam knows Lucifer is coming back, and when he does, Sam wants her to make Lucifer suffer. Sam feels helpless, without a plan. Dean insists they will figure it out. How? “I don’t know. But we will. You and me,” Dean says, causing the warm fuzzies, even as Sam doesn’t believe him.

And Rowena? Casts her spell, drawing her own blood and clearly summoning great quantities of power. Purple light illuminates her bindings and one by one they snap. She heals instantly, her eyes turn purple, and we realize that Sam has probably just helped to unleash the most powerful witch in existence.

So what of Lucifer? Is he dead? Don’t bet on it. We’ll be seeing more of him in next week’s episode, “Devil’s Bargain.” See you then!

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About Barbara Doyle (215 Articles)
Barbara Sirois Doyle is a Contributing Editor for Sweatpants & Coffee. She is a writer, mixed-media artist, and, most important, a wife and mother to her boyos three. She is a voracious reader, unapologetic uber-geek, and lover of all types of music, from Public Enemy to Rachmaninoff. If she's not watching Supernatural or Doctor Who, she is likely trolling the internet for amusing cat photos. She takes her coffee light with no sugar.

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