It’s the season finale, guys—the penultimate season finale of the series. (I can’t seem to stop saying “penultimate”. Sorry, Sam.) Jack’s out of the box, Dean’s angry as hell, Sam’s torn between what he wants to do and what he needs to do, and Cas won’t stop believin’. Where’s it all going? Let’s dive in and find out!

Liar, Liar, Bunker’s on Fire

After a most excellent season recap set to our favorite song, we pick up right where we left off: Jack has broken free from the Ma’lak box and is super pissed. “You lied to me,” he says. “You lied!” And, much like when they first met him, he distorts space and time or whatever it is that he does and Jack throws Sam and Dean (this time with Cas) into the walls and floor, disappearing as they attempt to regain themselves.

They know they need to find him, but they all seem to have different reasons for doing so, and Dean’s is that he wants Jack dead. Dean calls him “just another monster” and Cas replies “you don’t mean that” and Cas? In that moment, I think he really does. Which Dean confirms. Cas storms out for what won’t be the first time this episode, and Sam wonders what they’ll do if they find Jack.

Dean wants Rowena to create another soul bomb like they intended to use on Amara, and Sam goes along with it reluctantly. Dean reminds Sam that Jack is hurting and killing people and he needs to be stopped, but Sam still doesn’t look convinced. “We’re gonna have to do the hard thing. We’re gonna have to do the ugly thing,” Dean says. “Ain’t like it’s the first time, though, right?” And man, he ain’t wrong.

Dazed and Confused

Jack wanders a town square, hearing person after person engaging in casual lying. He goes all yellow eyes and says “Stop lying!” and instantly? People do. And it’s not as good as you’d think it would be.

Sam and Dean head for a software company that does the most cutting of edges in facial recognition software, trying to find Jack. Sam and Dean, in the midst of all this strife, have a banter about which one of them is a nerd, and it’s worth it to hear Dean say he is nothing like a “gaggle of Zuckerbergs.”

Dean assures Sam that he’s “got this” when he spies the pretty receptionist. He goes over, confident as hell, holds out his FBI badge and says, “Hi, I’m Dean Winchester and I’m looking for the devil’s son.” She is naturally confused. He says it again, adding that his badge is fake, and then she’s not the only one who has no idea what the hell is going on.

Dean goes to Sam and asks who is favorite singer, and he knows it’s not Elvis. Turns out? Sam’s favorite singer is Celine Dion and he can’t say otherwise, and honestly? I was not expecting any levity this episode so this is a welcome moment. The software company employees, unable to lie, become literally brutally honest with one another and everything descends into chaos. And not just in the office—globally. The president talks his tax evasion, deals with Russia and North Korea and the demon deal he made with Crowley. (Ha!) (In other parts of the world there are the same type of problems, one instance including the Queen of England being a lizard. Huh. Who knew?)

See You in Hell

Cas attempts to go to hell, literally, via a demon, who tells him to go to hell metaphorically. Cas wants to study the cage to see if Jack can be safely contained until they can fix him.

He hears behind him, “Wow. Yeah. You guys are screwed.” from none other than God—Chuck—himself, apparently (finally) answering Castiel’s prayer. Chuck knows he needs to address the “problem” that is Jack.

Humor abounds as Dean realizes once you can’t lie on the internet people go quiet, and he confesses reading a mommy blog before admitting he should just stop talking. That all dries up, however, when Chuck and Cas show up. Chuck surveys the chaos of the office and muses that that’s why lying is beneficial. Cas is surprised, but Chuck says, “I’m a writer. Lying’s kind of what we do.”

Dean is stunned to see Chuck, and Sam looks no better. Dean asks where the hell Chuck has been, and Chuck attempts to be snarky and play guitar, but Dean is having none of it, and he smashes the guitar to smithereens. Chuck shouts, “DON’T!” and he actually looks a little scary. He zaps them back to the Bunker, and offers to answer their questions. Apparently, Chuck has been hanging out, sometimes with Amara, who is now in Reno. He says he’s hands off—if they wanna fight Leviathans, cool, go up against the British Men of Letters, a little weak but okay—but when things get really bad he has to step in. Chuck fixes the “no lying” thing with a snap of his fingers. “Really?” Sam asks. “I’m God, Sam. Yeah, really.” It’s like it never happened.

Chuck says he can’t stop Jack but they can, with a gun he made that can kill anything. Apparently it sends a wave of quantum energy and whatever whatever—point is? It restores balance. And another thing? Whatever happens to the victim also happens to the shooter. Chuck says he can’t bite it, so one of you? “Sorry.”

Cas still doesn’t want to hurt Jack, but Chuck insists he can’t restore Jack’s soul. He also invokes Mary and I don’t like that at all. Cas is adamant—even reminding Dean of options because what Billie said about killing Michael wasn’t true (causing Chuck to dismiss Billie, saying the old death was better and she’s always sticking her scythe where it doesn’t belong.) Dean insists it is the only way, and Cas either needs to get on board or walk away, and walk away Cas does. And Sam? Despite standing by Dean he looks like he wants to go right with him.

Family Time

Jack tries to go to Kelly’s parents again, seeking comfort, and he is rejected by her mom. Apparently the Klines know that Jack lied to them and they suspect Kelly is dead. This floors Jack, who looks pitiful and sad. Mrs. Kline screams, “What did you do!” and Jack goes yellow eyes and shouts “Stop!” and oh, no. Poor Jack. Have you had another “accident”?

Sacrificial Lamb

Dean calls Sam into his room, and Sam knows this is where Dean offers to pull the trigger, kill Jack and die himself. Dean says they have no choice, but Sam disagrees. Sam knows what Jack did was horrible but they haven’t even tried to save him. Sam says his lack of soul is his fault for bringing Jack back, which he did because Jack is family. He reminds Dean that Jack lost his soul saving them.

“You want me to say I’m cool with losing him and losing you, all at once?” Sam asks, unshed tears in his eyes, “’Cause I can’t do that. I won’t say that because…no…I’ve already lost too much.”

An Angel On Your Shoulder

Cas looks for Jack in a cemetery, punching the hood of his truck in frustration. Jack appears, quieter, calmer, and Cas, relieved, hugs him close. Jack tells Cas he thought he could make the world a better place by eliminating lying, but he couldn’t, and confesses to Cas about the Klines (turns out he didn’t hurt Mrs. Kline—he just ran away. Whew!) Jack admits he used to hate himself for killing Kelly just by being born, but now he feels nothing. I still want to hug Jack, and make it better, and finally Cas and I have something in common. Other than our love for the Winchesters, of course.

Just Like a Prayer

Sam talks to Chuck, whom, it must be said, is acting kind of flippant and dickish, about the many other worlds and universes, and if Chuck really is growing bored of them like Michael said. He wonders if that is what Chuck is doing to them now. “No Sam, you and your brother of all the Sams and Deans in all the multiverse—you’re my favorite,” Chuck insists. “You’re just so interesting.” And this? As I said, flippancy? Makes me wonder if this is Chuck at all.

Sam asks if Chuck watches them, and he says that he does. “You’re my favorite show,” Chuck says, and I kind of want to smack the crap out of him. Sam wonders, angrily, why it is always on him and Dean when the world is failing. “’Cause you’re my guys,” Chuck says and ooooooh…again with the smacking. Sam realizes Chuck is scared of Jack and wonders why he hasn’t done anything. What is he waiting for? Nothing, Chuck says. Dean is already gone.

True Confessions

Jack tells Cas that no matter how hard he tries it never goes right. “All I ever wanted was to be good,” Jack says. “But now? I’m just empty.” It’s kind of heartbreaking. Because, as Dumah said in Heaven, he lost his ability to be good performing an act of goodness and that is righteously unfair.

Cas tries to give him hope, but Dean is suddenly there, gun at the ready. Cas attempts to stand between them, and Dean tells him to step aside. Cas tells Jack to run, but Jack tosses Cas aside and faces Dean head on, vowing he won’t run anymore.

With the gun pointed at him, Jack kneels on the ground, waiting, telling Dean simply, “I understand. I know what I’ve done.” It is so small, so sad, and so, as I said, pitiful I almost want to look away.

Sam shows up, shouting at Dean to not do it, and Dean tells him to stay back. “And you were right all along. I am a monster,” Jack says, but Dean hesitates, while Chuck appears, watching with enjoyment at all that is unfolding.

Oh My God

In the end? Dean can’t do it, not because he values his own life, but because he values Jack’s. He tosses the gun aside. “No, pick it up!” Chuck says, irritated. This isn’t how the story is supposed to end. He says it is Abraham and Isaac—it is epic. Sam realizes Chuck has been playing them. All along. Their whole lives, they have just been entertainment for God.

Chuck demands Dean pick up the gun and shoot Jack, and if he does, he’ll bring Mary back. (This is when I blatantly said, “Oh, f**k you!” audibly to my television.) Dean says no, that isn’t what Mary would have wanted. They challenge Chuck. Stand up to him. The Winchesters are done performing for a deity. “God or no God? You go to hell,” Dean says. “Have it your way,” Chuck replies, and he burns Jack out from the inside, killing him. “Stop it!” Dean demands, but Chuck just tosses him aside. And then? AND THEN? Sam picks up the gun, shouts “Hey Chuck!” and SHOOTS CHUCK IN THE SHOULDER, falling to the ground, wounded himself. “Fine!” Chuck says. “That’s the way you want it? Story’s over. Welcome to the end.”

It goes dark in the cemetery. Sam is wounded but okay. Cas kneels over a dead Jack, and Dean is confused. “I thought Chuck said that the gun was the only thing that could…” “He’s a writer,” Cas says, angry tears in his eyes, “Writers lie.”

As the all too appropriate song, “God Was Never On Your Side” by Motörhead plays, we see just what Chuck has threatened come to pass.

Jack wakes up in The Empty, confused, being approached by the Cosmic Entity, who uses its index finger to draw a creepy smile on its unformed face. “What’s happening?” Jack asks. “Yeah, about that,” Billie says from behind him, scythe in hand, “We should talk.” And on earth, the ground of the cemetery shakes dramatically, and souls from hell are released into the air. The Woman in White that the Winchesters killed so long ago walks again, the spirit of John Wayne Gacy arrives at a children’s party, and Bloody Mary appears in the mirror of a sleepover.

Graves explode and zombies emerge from them, gathering in the cemetery where Team Free Will stands, outnumbering them by dozens—maybe hundreds.

Cas pulls his angel blade, and Dean pulls two bars from a wrought iron fence, handing one to Sam.

Then the trio stand back to back to back and wait for the oncoming horde, which closes in on them, and the battle begins as we crash to black.

Well there’s a finale for you! Zombies everywhere and no Lucille handy to help. How the hell are they going to get out of this one? Guess we’ll find out after a long summer hellatus. Thanks for a great season, everyone, and see you in the fall for the final one (sob!) Season Fifteen.

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