By Rachel Drummond
I feel like standing up and shouting, “This is what I came here for,” because this week’s episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt was exactly what I’ve been waiting to see. First off, it was hilarious – I’m talking laugh-out-loud funny throughout the whole thing. Second, Mikey is back, and we all know I am head over heels for Mikey and Titus’s relationship.
This week, we see Jacqueline try to pull off her important gala (even when Deirdre Robespierre tries to thwart her), Kimmy meets a cute new guy who can tell that Kimmy has survived some trauma, and Mikey and Titus try to learn to communicate with each other.
Despite having planned her gala down to the letter, Jacqueline’s hopes of raising money for Native Americans shatter when she learns that Mimi booked the venue for the wrong night. Instead, Deirdre Robespierre is hosting her own gala in that space (to raise awareness of Lupus awareness), and Jacqueline feels like it’s finally time to throw in the towel. Deirdre tries to provoke her into fighting (in her sick attempt to spice up her boring life), which causes Jacqueline to reflect on her own path to power: She started as a mistress, and landed her rich husband 15 years earlier. Struck with inspiration, Jacqueline convinces all the mistresses hanging out at the local bar to invite all their right boyfriends to her gala (causing them to leave Deirdre’s). She ends up realizing, though, that those rich people only care about themselves, and we’re left wondering what Jacqueline will do to help her family.
Kimmy and Keith
I am all for a cute boy in a uniform, but honestly, I was hoping that Keith wouldn’t stick around (Kimmy + Dong forever, am I right?). Luckily, I’m pretty sure Keith was just there to get Kimmy thinking about her past traumas (and setting up the reason why Kimmy starts to hold fake Christmas celebrations). When Keith approaches Kimmy in a bar, he mistakes her for a war veteran because of the look in her eyes. She loves talking to him about things they missed (like 15 Christmases for her), but when Keith has a PTSD flashback at Jacqueline’s gala, it triggers Kimmy’s repressed fear of the Reverend as well.
Keith tries to tell Kimmy she’s in denial about her trauma triggers, but it just gets Kimmy angry. She starts going into her reasons for pushing everything down, and we finally have a glimpse into why Kimmy has been weirdly burping all season when things are uncomfortable for her: She’s trying to swallow down her bad feelings. Speaking of feelings, I have a feeling this is all going to blow up in her face if she keeps trying to squash it. So it might be the last we see of Keith, but it’s definitely not the last we’re going to see of Kimmy dealing with her past.
Mikey and Titus
All right, let’s get into why we’re all here (okay, why I’m here): Titus and Mikey are the cutest couple in the history of ever.
The episode starts with Titus panicking that Mikey talks way too much, and about things that are completely boring to him (i.e., topics that aren’t Titus Andromedon). He ends up interacting with some of Mikey’s coworkers, and notices that Mikey doesn’t say two words to them. This leads him to have a cute realization that Mikey is only comfortable talking to Titus, so despite his boredom, Titus vows to truly listen to Mikey when he talks. How cute is that? Don’t worry, it only gets cuter.
At Jacqueline’s gala, Mikey is chatting away, with Titus trying to understand things like drywall, when Mikey finally loses it. He says that he can’t keep this up–his chatter is only a charade, because he was so nervous on their first date that he talked the whole time, and now he’s worried that Titus will only like him if he continues that trend. They realize that each of them was trying to do things to make the other happy; Mikey was talking endlessly because he thought Titus liked it, and Titus was listening because he thought Mikey needed it. The balance of the universe is restored (with Titus relieved that now he can do all the talking), and they share a sweet kiss. Insert gratuitous picture of the most adorable couple on the planet:
1) I love Anna Camp’s portrayal of Deirdre as an incredibly intelligent woman who is so bored out of her mind by her own life that she will stop at nothing to make it interesting. Her weird and diabolical attempts to create drama (like putting her own silverware in her maid’s purse) get me every time. One of my favorite moments, though, was when she gets excited about the prospect of she and Jacqueline having a gala on the same night, and the chaos it could cause:
“I haven’t felt this alive since I left the state department. You know I faked the Saddam capture–he’s still out there”
2) This iconic conversation that goes down when Kimmy tells Titus she forgot to set up a second meeting with her cute mystery guy:
Titus: Kimbecile, what do I always say?
Kimmy: “Don’t touch my dolls, they’re strictly look-upons?”
Titus: Not that.
Kimmy: “Only Aladdin can pull off harem pants?”
Titus: Not that.
Kimmy: “John Cusack got fat, but I still would?”
Titus: No. Get the digits–the digits!
3) Up until now this season, Amy Sedaris playing Mimi Canassis has provided a few laughs here and there, but this episode she really shined. From screwing up Jacqueline’s invitations by writing the date the fancy, British way (with day and month reversed), to locking herself in a closet when Jacqueline finally knows how to fix things. The best moment, hands down, though, was when Jacqueline let Mimi and Kimmy on a little snippet of knowledge:
Jacqueline: My only education is Snapple caps. An ostrich can run 30 miles an hour.
Mimi: What? No! Help!
*Jacqueline’s phone rings*
Mimi: Don’t answer it, it’s an ostrich!
To be honest, this episode is incredibly full of way more hilarious moments, and you just have to check it out yourself to see (especially the montage at the end when the construction workers admit what they’ve been saying on site the whole time). The entire season is streaming on Netflix, so what are you waiting for?