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Sweatpants & TV | Versailles, Season 2, Episode 5 – “War and Peace”

By Leslie Gayle

Versailles Recap

On Versailles, Louis decides he will go to war. But he doesn’t actually go to war with anyone but those loyal to him. And Fabien has feels this week.

Although he is worried about the poisons in his palace, Louis fires Fabien. And he doesn’t just fire him – Louis disowns him. Seriously, Fabien has been stabbed and poisoned for the King! But we have a sign that Fabien may actually be human. He looks so sad. At least I think that’s supposed to be sad.

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So the King has now fired Claudine and Fabien, both loyal to him. And Montespan convinces him to forgive Gaston. Gaston’s mother poisoned the Justice of Ministry. Montespan had promised to get this job for Gaston. When Bontemps points out that Louis is being manipulated by a woman, like Louis had asked him to do, Louis sends him away too.

Chevalier starts his drug dealing business disguised as a silk salesman. He lies and tells Philippe he has come into an inheritance. Palatine doesn’t seem to want any of his silks or drugs.

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The Queen confronts Louis on the topic of Montespan hitting on her priest. Montespan convinces Louis that the priest hit on her, and that the priest may actually be smitten with the Queen. This goes nicely with the murder devised by Gaston to help Montespan’s cause. Gaston tells the priest he can’t read or write. So the priest writes a confessional for Gaston. In the priest’s handwriting, there is declaration of love for the Queen and weakness of the flesh. A flower laced with poison kills the creepy priest. Then Gaston makes it look like the priest hanged himself. The Queen still has her doubts about his suicide.

Louis promised Philippe, his brother will have glory in war. Philippe has a new lease on life. But after Louis overhears his ministers praise Philippe’s superior soldiering, Louis decides he will go in his brother’s stead. We can’t give Philippe any of the real glory.

Versailles recap

Our Favorite moments


Out of desperation, Sophie takes Gaston’s marriage advice and visits the fortune teller. Remember, Sophie’s husband now has the Minister of Justice job that Gaston wants.

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The fortune teller gives Sophie the veiled options of killing her husband slowly or quickly. Sophie chooses slow suffering for Cassel. I hope Sophie finds another way out of this marriage. I don’t want her soul damaged from killing someone! If only she had run off with the construction worker.

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Bontemps and Philippe

Louis earlier implored Bontemps to tell him if a woman ever gains undue influence over the King. But Louis has been throwing his most trusted valet warning shots. Bontemps goes to Philippe for help in the matter. I love this moment between two men whom love the King but have been treated horribly. Bontemps is fighting back tears. One look from Philippe and we feel all the same pain. They will continue to be loyal. What else can they do.

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Louis and Therese

Despite their disagreements, Louis appoints the Queen as his Regent while he is away at war. I love this scene because she seems truly happy for once. Does he actually trust her or is he testing her and everyone else? Montespan is understandably uneasy about her future in Louis’ absence.

Versailles recap

Fabien and Claudine

Fabien is on an emotional roller coaster this week! There were those sad puppy dog eye at the beginning of the episode. When he visits Claudine, he appears to be in domestic bliss.

Versailles recap

It becomes creepy, but we’ll give him a pass. He’s still learning how to have all the feels of a real boy. In the end they drown their sorrows over the King, with each other. FINALLY!

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Philippe and Palatine

While sulking about being kick out of the war, Palatine ignites a fire under Philippe. She ends up at the end of Philippe’s sword.

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But her words work. She ends up at the end of his other sword. Poor Chevalier was actually being nice and bringing wools to Palatine, and genuinely wasn’t snarky about it.

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It seems there are more satisfying things than horseback riding.

In the end Montespan convinces Louis to sample the drugs he has banned, so he can sleep. He doesn’t sleep. Instead he goes insane, drawing all over his plans for Versailles in his own blood. Oh my, that’s some good symbolism!

Versailles recap

Will the Queen kick Montespan out of the palace? With Chevalier get caught dealing drugs? Will Sophie follow through with her plan to kill her husband? Will the priest’s murder be discovered? Will Louis ever start his war? Tune in next week to find out!

Leslie Gayle

Leslie is a one time CPA, wife and mom of twins. She’s an over thinker who loves karate, thunder, and travel. Her sweatpants are yoga pants and she takes her coffee with milk.

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