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Sweatpants & TV | Vikings, Season 5, Episode 4: “The Plan”

By Lesley Gayle

Yay, there’s no blood on Vikings this week! Per this episode’s title, Ivar, Heahmund and Floki make “plans”. Lagertha, Margrethe, Astrid and a new woman, move the plot forward this week. And Ivar DOESN’T make my favorite moments, because he’s unnecessarily mean spirited this week.

Bishop Heahmund says he had a vision of the Vikings dying and burning their dead. He’s still certain of his righteousness. He wants to starve them out while the English rebuild their forces. Alfred seems skeptical of Heahmund. King Aethelwulf goes along with the plan, despite fears that the Vikings will attack the depleted Saxons to end the blockade. He may be good at hand to hand combat, but Aethelwulf has no long term game.

When facing the hijacking of every hunting party, Hvitserk commiserates out loud. Ivar is overly defensive and wonders why Hvitserk followed him. Hvitserk says Ubbe treated him like a faithful dog and he’s no one’s dog. Ivar makes it obvious that he’ll treat Hvitserk worse.

Hvitserk now doubts he made the right decision. He asks the gods for a sign and is fired upon by the Saxons. That’s not good.

Aethelwulf finally grows a pair when Heahmund tells him to hold on the York offensive. Heahmund takes a submissive pose, but who knows if Heahmund has learned his place.

We still have no idea how Sinric showed up. But he convinces Bjorn to travel to the confusing island of Sicily, rather than Rome. Even though Sinric is sketchy on the details and says this world is deceiving, Bjorn wants to go. Bjorn and Halfdan become the bodyguards to a crazy man they thought was a great Byzantine leader. It turns out this guy’s just keeping up appearances for Ziyatdat, an Emir who’s in Africa.

Everyone is transfixed by Kassia, a Christian nun, the commander is holding hostage. When Bjorn’s group wants the commander to go with them to Africa, he declines. But Kassia says otherwise. Is Kassia the one really in charge? Is Sinric screwing around with the Vikings for the fun of it? And will all these characters’ storylines be pointless, like Paris? I personally think Hirst is rehashing Paris.

Halfdan has the sense to not trust her or Sinric.

Over in Iceland, Floki asks Odin if he can bring people to settle the land of the gods. Odin answers him with thunder. (For some reason I hear Jarl Borg in my head – “An eagle is a good sign!”)

Here are my favorite moments of the week.

Favorite Moments:

Ubbe’s Homecoming

Ubbe arrives in Kattegat to the welcoming arms of his wife. Poor Ubbe is shell shocked over Ivar’s insanity and heartbroken over Hvitserk leaving him. Lagertha doesn’t take Ubbe prisoner, despite him being Aslaug’s son. She’s satisfied he’s no threat to her and enlists him to help her against Harald. But Margrethe wants him to overthrow Lagertha. Poor Ubbe, his dad got stuck between two strong women too.

Torvi the Forgotten

Poor Torvi looks anxiously for Bjorn when the Ubbe returns from England. But Bjorn has no interested in her or the kids, and probably not Kattegat.

Later, Lagertha walks in on Margrethe talking crap about her. Lagertha attempts to win Margrethe over, claiming she’d respect her more than any other if she was loyal. Torvi’s pushed to the back again – despite her years of loyalty, despite being the mother of Lagertha’s only grandchildren. Like mother, like son, I guess.

Harald gets lucky

This moment is one of my favorites because Astrid’s hair is awesome. With little explanation other than “fate”, Astrid has a change of heart and marries Harald. She says farewell to her thoughts of Lagertha. Even though Harald looks ridiculous his Chinese bathrobe and puffy crown, his smile is handsome. And Astrid’s hair is prettier than any of Lagerthera’s dos. Will Astrid kill him on their wedding night and take over all of Norway?

Margrethe takes a stand

Margrethe has been open about her issues with Lagertha. The first sit down meal with Ubbe, Lagertha puts her in her place.

And it’s a place she should remember well when she was Ivar’s woman. At least she has better hair and clothes, and her twitch is gone.

Seven Deadly Sins

Ivar has a plan based on a “Roman” strategy he learned. He’s pretending to burn the dead. That’s all he’ll tell us for now.

The Saxon forces enter York when they see the Vikings have abandoned the town. Aethelwulf is thrilled. They open up the church to reclaim it for God and Heahmund knows things are amiss.

It reminded me of this scene. Be not proud, Heahmund. Be. Not. Proud.

Find out what craziness Ivar’s up to next week!

Picture source: http://www.history.com/shows/vikings

Leslie Gayle

Leslie is a one time CPA, wife and mom of twins. She’s an over thinker who loves karate, thunder, and travel. Her sweatpants are yoga pants and she takes her coffee with milk.

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