Warning: recaps are chock full o’ spoilers. That’s pretty much the point of recaps. If you haven’t watched this episode yet, leave now. And stop clicking on things with the name of the show that for some reason you still haven’t gotten around to watching. Do you LIKE pain?

Actually, fans of The Walking Dead do like pain, apparently, because this show likes to pull our beating hearts from our chests like a ravenous walker, gnaw on them a bit, and then spit them out like yesterday’s entrails. And still, we raggedy loyalists remain. Hello, fellow masochists. I’m finally ready to talk about this latest episode. Can we gather in a circle and hold hands?

We open with Rick and company sprinting through the woods as the horn blares. Rick’s plan is to get to the RV and lead the herd away from Alexandria. He tells Michonne and Glen that not all the Alexandrians are going to make it, which is totes true, and thank goodness because I can’t emotionally invest in everybody. He tells them that if one of the Alexandrian softies goes down, they need to just keep going. Because bygones. Heath hears this and is troubled.

Predictably, walkers attack Glenn and Michonne’s cub scout troop group of Alexandrian housecats and they freak. Sturgess ends up wounding Scott in the leg, and then he books. David gets bitten in the shoulder. Nicholas is useless. Right at this moment, I want Glenn and Michonne to leave ALL these people.

The Walking Dead 6x03 Nicholas Scott Heath

Daryl, who is accompanying Abraham and Sasha on the slow speed walker pub crawl, decides he’s out. He’s going back to Alexandria to help. Abraham and Sasha are not pleased.

We’re supposed to like David more because he tells Michonne about his wife and how he wants to see her before he bites it. From the zombie bite. David, you’re just not being realistic. Annie thinks they should stop and take care of Scott’s leg, which, whatever.

In town, the group finds a bunch of walkers chowing down on Sturgess. This makes Nicholas feel bad, even though Sturgess totally ditched them. They eventually hole up in a pet store and Glenn comes up with the idea of setting fire to something to distract the walkers and keep them away from Alexandria. Nicholas tells him there’s a feed store that would be highly flammable and says he’ll show him where it is.

Glenn tells Rick the deal over the walkie talkie, but Rick is too busy doing a Walker 5K Fun Run to respond.

Annie and Scott, who are both wounded (and in Scott’s case, a ticking zombie bomb waiting to go off) tell the group to leave them behind. Heath says no way, and he gives Michonne the stink eye.

This leads to an epic confrontation in which Michonne tells Heath all about himself and his friends and why those cruel-seeming words from Rick were necessary. Because he was giving them permission to survive. Heath has never been in that kind of situation, not like Rick has seen. So, he needs to shut his dreadlocks.

Glenn and Nicholas run across one of his old crew – a 19 year old that Nicholas left to die. He’s having feels again. Glenn tells Nicholas that he is no longer that guy.

David is writing a farewell letter to his wife, back at the pet store. Michonne refuses to take it from him. She writes on her arm, “You’re getting home.” Suddenly, they hear a banging noise which turns out to be the former pet store staff who locked themselves in for safety and then died. The noise attracts the walkers outside and the group prepares at first to fight, but then they see how many of them there are. They decide to run for it. Annie falls and gets eaten. Ah, well.

Glenn and Nicholas discover that the feed store has already burnt down. Is there another building they can burn? The massive zombie horde is descending upon them.

Michonne and the others are on the run and reach a chain link gate that they have to climb. David gets grabbed, and he’s a goner. As he is being devoured, we catch a glimpse of the letter to his wife, lying on the ground. Scott and Michonne watch, horrified, from the other side of the fence. Heath is the one who tells them they have to go. So much for leaving no one behind, eh, Heath?

The walkers have Glenn and Nicholas surrounded. The two climb up on top of the dumpster, and Nicholas starts to space out. Glenn demands that Nicholas look at him. He does. For a moment, Nicholas is calm. He says, “Thank you.” And then he pulls his gun and shoots himself in the head. He topples from the dumpster, and Glenn falls with him into the mob of waiting zombies. We see Glenn’s screaming, grief-stricken face as the hungry walkers begin to feast on bloody intestines.

The Walking Dead 6x03 Nicholas and Glenn

Rick has the RV and he’s driven it to the spot Glenn told him to wait. He radios Glenn but gets no response. He then radios Daryl to let him know that the rest of the herd will be back with the main pack soon and Sasha is all, “Yeah, Daryl.”

While Rick is waiting, two of the Wolves that Morgan let escape from Alexandria (DAMMIT, MORGAN!) break into the RV and attack him, but Rick is too badass. He kills them both. The rest of the Wolves are outside and he opens fire on them, mowing them down.

Daryl hears the gunfire and turns around. He rejoins Sasha and Abraham and I can only assume is treated to a massive side-eye and a, “Well, look who’s back.”

Michonne, Heath and Scott find Alexandria has been compromised and Michonne whips out her sword.

Rick can’t get the RV started. This is a bad time to have engine trouble because the entire freaking zombie herd is upon him. We close as the camera draws back to show uncountable numbers of walkers heading toward the RV.

What I loved:

Pain. Did we not talk about this? Apparently, I LOVE PAIN. Because I kept watching even after my fucking heart broke and I was so mad and sad I couldn’t even finish my popcorn. WTF, show? The look on Glenn’s face in those final moments is the way I felt. Total grief and despair.

What could have been better:

Do I even have to say it?

The Walking Dead 6x03 Glenn_Steven Yeun

What I’m looking forward to:

There’s only one thing I’m looking forward to and that’s finding out that Glenn is not dead. Because I refuse to accept it. And all the theories on the Internet reassure me that there’s a chance. I know I’m not the only one who thought it was weird to see intestines being pulled from right beneath Glenn’s chin. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s not where we keep them. Also, Steven Yeun was NOT a guest on the Talking Dead following the episode, which as we all know is what happens in the afterlife for Walking Dead characters. Lastly, much has been made of Glenn calling Rick “dumbass” over the walkie-talkie. Because remember in season 1 when he and Rick got all dressed up in walker drag by draping themselves with guts and totally fooled the walkers into letting them join their parade? ‘Member? ‘Member? I do. And I am clinging to that faint and sticky hope.

The Walking Dead 6x03 Michonne

 

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