This week on The Walking Dead we return to Alexandria. Negan is in charge, Rick is desperate to save his remaining people, and everyone tries to adjust to the new reality.
We open with what would normally be a squee-worthy Richonne scene: Rick and Michonne in bed. Except it’s not sexy. Everything looks normal, which is super freaky because we all know NOTHING IS NORMAL ANYMORE.
Michonne awakens and slips quietly to the fireplace, where she has stashed a rifle. She takes the gun and her bag, and Rick comes downstairs in time to see her leave. It turns out she’s heading for some alone time in a field where she sits on a rusted out truck and tries to shoot walkers. She’s really bad at it.
Rosita and Spencer are about to make run for supplies. Maybe they’ll find something to use for when the Saviors appear in a week, except, surprise! Negan, like the very worst kind of party guest, shows up way too early. He’s brought an army of Saviors and a disheveled and downtrodden Daryl. When Rick tries to speak to him, Negan shuts that down. Daryl, no doubt plagued by guilt over Glenn’s death, can barely make eye contact. The Saviors commence searching the joint for anything they might want.
Dwight, who is odious as ever, stops Spencer and Rosita before they can leave. He confiscates their weapons and then tauntingly pours out Rosita’s canteen of water (add “wasteful” to Dwight’s long list of character flaws). He insists that they go fetch him Daryl’s motorcycle and that they not take too long. Rosita tries to murder him with her eyes, but is unsuccessful.
As the Saviors ransack the Alexandrian’s homes like it’s a clearance sale, Negan inquires as to Maggie’s whereabouts. Rick’s at a loss but Gabriel (holy shit, Gabriel?) saves him by asking Negan if he’d like to pay his respects. Gabriel presents Negan with a freshly dug grave. I’m impressed. Negan is disappointed to hear that Maggie didn’t make it. He kinda wanted to wife her.
Negan hears a gunshot and gives Rick an ominous look before heading off to investigate. Carl is in the infirmary, pointing a gun at a Savior. He is NOT going to let this dude take all their medicine. The Saviors really ought to be more afraid of them, he says. Rick is freaking out. He does not want his son to be turned into cranberry sauce via Lucille (I should note that this entire time, Negan has had Rick holding Lucille, because he’s that kind of a dick). He begs Carl to put the gun down and Carl reluctantly complies. Negan is tickled by the kid’s balls (that’s a weird sentence) and is in the mood to be merciful. Except also he’s now decided to take every last one of the Alexandrian’s guns. Thanks a lot, Carl.
In the armory, Olivia shows Negan and company where all the weapons are. Negan says something body-shaming about Rick having a fat lady in charge of the food inventory but tells Rick he’s such a nice guy, he’s not going to take any of their food. He wants Rick to thank him for his generosity, but Rick just can’t do it.
Meanwhile Rosita and Spencer find Daryl’s motorcycle. Spencer bitches while loading it onto the van that this is all Rick’s fault; he knew something like this would happen. Rosita isn’t even listening. She scampers off into the woods, apparently to play hide and seek with some walkers. We learn that actually she’s looking for weapons. She takes one off a walker, but it’s not loaded. Spencer thinks she’s being foolish. Spencer irritates me.
Back in Alexandria, Arat, a tough Savior chick, tells Negan that two guns are missing, according to Olivia’s meticulously kept inventory. Negan hates this kind of sloppiness and he insists on accountability, so if they don’t find the guns right quick, he’s going to bash Olivia’s head in.
Rick calls a town meeting and implores everyone to accept this new way of life. He’s not in charge anymore, Negan is. And if they want to live, if they want Olivia to live, the only way is to cooperate. The townsfolk are not super into this idea, but the truth is none of them have the guns. Rick, Aaron, and Gabriel later search Spencer’s house and Rick finds them squirreled away under the floorboards, along with some booze and canned food. Goddamnit, Spencer.
Rick turns the guns over to Negan, who informs Rick that he has a problem and he better fix it. Everyone needs to be on board, or next time, someone will die. Rick spots Michonne and asks if he can have a minute. Privately, he pleads with Michonne to give up the rifle he knows she took. It’s just too dangerous and if the Saviors find out, someone gets Lucille. Michonne is struggling to accept this, but when Rick breaks down and tells her he can’t lose anyone else, she concedes.
Negan is delighted when Rick presents him with the rifle. He didn’t even know about it! Rick asks if, since they’ve shown they can follow Negan’s rules, Daryl might be allowed to stay. Negan asks Daryl if that’s what he’d like, but Daryl will not speak.
The Saviors gather up their plundered goods, Dwight hops on Daryl’s motorcycle, and they start to leave. Negan, however, won’t leave until Rick says thank you. With great difficulty, Rick complies. Negan then notices an approaching walker and asks someone to hand him a candlestick so he can dispatch it. Rick is still grasping Lucille, and when Negan turns his head, he is tempted to swing the bat. He doesn’t, though, and Negan throws the now-sticky candlestick to the ground. He tells Rick he can clean that up for next time.
Rick is pissed at Spencer for hiding food and supplies for his own personal use, but Spencer is like, whatever. He thinks if they’d made a deal with Negan the first time around, none of this would have happened. Glenn and Abraham would still be alive. Without even turning around, Rick tells Spencer that if he EVER says that shit again, he will break his jaw. He forces Spencer to say her understands. Meanwhile, all Rosita heard was that Spencer had those damn guns. She had to play walker hide and seek just to get an empty one!
Michonne finds Rick spreading blankets on the floor in their house. The Saviors, for some reason, took all the mattresses. Michonne still thinks they should fight, but Rick says they have to accept this. He then tells her that he knows Judith is Shane’s daughter, not his, but that he had to accept it and love her so he could keep her alive. Michonne softens at that, seeing how much it has cost him, all of it. She promises to try. Later, when she’s out in the field, she notices smoke. The Saviors have piled all their mattresses by the side of the road and set them on fire. Just ‘cause.
The last scene is of Rosita, picking up an empty bullet casing. She knocks on Eugene’s door and asks him to make her a bullet.
Next week: the return of Jesus?