Who breaks up on Girls? What’s the real deal with the creepy-perfect residents of Alexandria on The Walking Dead? Who do we desperately wish would get eaten? Answers to these questions and more in this week’s roundup. Spoilers ahead!

Girls, Season 4, Episode 9 – “Daddy Issues”

Shandle Blaha

Girls HBO s4e9 Daddy Issues

What I loved:

I’m glad someone finally had a talk with Hannah about boundaries with her students, though it may be a little late since she is already talking them into piercing things. I’m glad Elijah is taking Tad under his gay wing, but I totally agree with Hannah that she does not need to hear about her dad’s sex life. Adam left Mimi-Rose! Finally! I’m sorry he got hurt, but she had to go. I was totally cheering Jessa on during that disastrous sausage dinner. I was glad Adam protected himself and didn’t run in and see Hannah. He is growing. The end with Hannah and Ray saying they were so happy and faking it reminded me of my favorite Grumpy Cat memes.

What could have been better:

The entire “Daddy” thing skived me out. No, thank you. She and Marnie need to tell Ray about her engagement right then, and then later they announce it at his campaign party? No one cares! Then his speech to/about her and her being oblivious made me seethe. Marnie is so self-absorbed.

What I’m looking forward to:

How Adam handles the breakup with Mimi-Rose and his sister having her baby.

Best Lines:

“You don’t know everything! Basically you’re a child.” – Tad

“I’m like the least homophobic person you’ve ever met. I have had sex with a gay man.” – Hannah to Cleo

“The job interviews have dried up, nobody is buying what I’m selling; I couldn’t get hired to give away free blow jobs at the bus station.” – Shosh to Ray

“Anything I have ever told you about life, I want you to disregard it.”—Loreen to Hannah

“Think about anal sex! Now that’s uncomfortable!” – Loreen to Hannah

“I’m good with my sponge.” – Adam

“You are full of shit in a different way. I don’t even know what that way is, but I’m sure you’ll make some really shitty art about it.” – Jessa to Mimi-Rose

The Walking Dead, Season 5 Episode 14 – “Spend”

Nanea Hoffman

Walking Dead s5e14 Spend

The Walking Dead is less a show about zombies and more an intense study of human behavior when the trappings of conventional society have been stripped away. It forces us to confront the hard questions about what we really value and what ethical choices we would make in order to survive. Most particularly, this: survival at what cost?

What I loved:

Action! Finally. So much of this show is about quiet and tension punctuated by short bursts of horrific violence. It’s very effective – the zombie apocalypse is mostly boring, except when it’s terrifying and stressful. But this week, the story moved. I loved that we got to see the dark underbelly of Alexandria and its Stepford inhabitants: they leave people. Now, it all makes sense. The calm, idyllic life contrasted with the constant need to recruit new residents for the town.

Also: Carol. I am filled with unholy glee when I watch her assume her disguise of harmless housewife. Last week, when she scared the bejeezus out of Sam, I am rather afraid I crowed. I don’t know why I loved that moment SO MUCH. Perhaps because Carol is the spirit animal of frustrated mothers everywhere who have finally accessed their inner badass. And then this week when she realizes what is happening to Sam and his mom at home? I was basically rubbing my hands together, chanting, “Someone’s gonna geeeeeeetttt itttttt . . .” when she tells Rick, “You’re going to have to kill him.” I am HERE FOR IT.

I was very happy that the smarmy son of Mom and Pops Alexandria bit it, too. I think I’ve just realized this show helps me work out my aggression issues.

What could have been better:

Noooooaaaahhhh!!!! Noooooooo! I realize people die on this show all the time, but I was so sad for Glenn! I think I’m actually fine with Noah dying because his dumb ass got Tyrese killed. But I am not happy that poor Glenn had to see that. When Glenn cries, I cry.

Walking Dead s5e14 Glenn

Also, can Gabriel just get eaten already? I am so over Emo Priest.

The Walking Dead s5e14 Gabriel

What I’m looking forward to:

Rick laying a beatdown on Pete.


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