The Walking Dead season finale went off with a bang, and also kind of a disgusting splatter. It was full of unexpected twists, betrayals and forgiveness, and another passive-aggressive casserole from Carol! Spoilers ahead, so proceed at your own risk.

The Walking Dead, Season 5 Episode 16 – “Conquer”

What I loved:

MORGAN! Hey, boo, hayyyyy! I was so excited to see him. And can we take a moment to appreciate his bo staff badassery? Apparently, after parting ways with Rick lo, these many seasons, Morgan took up with an itinerant band of Ninja Turtles. I dug it.

The Walking Dead s5e16 Morgan

I’ve decided that when Carol bakes, it means shit is about to get real. If she ever shows up on your doorstep in her sweet little cardigan with a casserole dish, you’d best run. When she casually informs Pete that she can kill him right then and there, idly brandishing her knife with one hand while holding her housewarming gift in the other, it is glorious. Downtrodden housewives everywhere feel a disturbance in the force. She literally gives him the “Come at me, bro” line. I DIE. And then this throwaway gem: “I want my dish back clean when you’re done.”

The Walking Dead s5e16 Carol

I also love Rick’s practical plan for who would take down who at the big tribal council if they voted him off the island. And how Carol calls him on his crap: “You say you don’t want to take this place and you don’t want to lie anymore? Oh, sunshine. You don’t get both.” Carol calling Rick ‘sunshine’ made me chortle. There may have perhaps been an unladylike guffaw.

The Walking Dead s5e16 Rick sunshine

Other favorite moments: Daryl and Aaron’s “we who are about to die” heart to heart in the car, Glenn deciding not to kill whatshisface who didn’t hold the door open for Noah, and Rick’s speech at the end: “I was thinking, how many of you people am I going to have to kill to save your lives?”

I like it that Rick and company do not turn into the Terminus people and end up taking over and killing the previous occupants of their sanctuary, but I also like it that he dumped a walker in the middle of their kumbaya circle after he finished killing it with his bare hands. Because it is time to wake up and smell the apocalypse, Alexandria. It’s clear that Deanna knows this after Pete kills her husband and she orders Rick to execute him, which he does without hesitation.

What could have been better:

I’m really, really annoyed that Gabriel still hasn’t been eaten. Even after he basically dangles himself in front of the walkers like a snack cake. Also – ALSO! His white shirt doesn’t even get dirty after he kills a walker (in his own maudlin way) and then lays down in the road sobbing. He’s like the kid who never comes off the bench in Little League whose uniform is always spotless. I feel like these zombies have no kind of work ethic. If you can’t even manage to devour an emo priest who is lying in the road and wailing like the bell at an all you can eat buffet, you ought to be ashamed of your undead self. I mean, really.

I hated the whole scene between Gabriel and Sasha. I wish they’d just go off to the Emo Prom together. If the world is so dangerous and survival is so difficult, how are these two mopey mopes who don’t want to be alive anymore still walking around, boring us? And then Sasha has the chance to shoot Gabriel and she doesn’t? COME ON.

What I’m looking forward to:

Finding out more about the Wolves and the throwdown that is clearly coming. I also am interested to see what the new dynamic of Alexandria will be like. Maybe not a #Ricktatorship, but close, I bet. I cannot wait to see more of Rick and Morgan, and I want to know what happened to Morgan’s kid. Also, perhaps more casseroles from Carol.

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