Which couple gets engaged on Downton Abbey and makes us cry all the tears? What tiny creature is lurking in the New Girl loft, hanging by a butt rope? What is a beaver trap? Answers to these questions and more in this week’s round up. Beware of spoilers!

New Girl, Season 4 Episode 17 – “Spiderhunt”

Tomi Wiley James

You know how there are those TV episodes that just kind of feel like filler, or as if they’re building up to something? Like, here’s an episode with some stuff in it that’s going to happen later, but we need to hurry up and fill in these holes, so here it is? This episode of New Girl felt like that. BUT. This episode also had a very Christopher Lloyd/Frasier feel with the miscommunication and misunderstandings, so here’s:

What I Loved:

Schmidt is super afraid of spiders, ya’ll. Like, unnaturally so. And the gang spends the episode searching for the spider that is “hanging from its butt rope,” and who Schmidt “can hear it building its sticky, deadly house that you can never leave. Building it. With its ass.”

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Source: (x)

This episode is pretty much all about Schmidt, which I also very much love. And speaking of love, CeCe lurves her some Schmidt and I can’t get enough of it. And more love is Coach and his multiple versions of an email to send to his new crush May, but I’ve heard that Wayans isn’t going to be in the next season, so I’m just not going to invest in that new relationship, although it’s super cute and I would very much like to be proven wrong.

I totally dug the whole popcorn machine/CeCe’s into Nick misunderstanding conversation between Nick and Jess. Very Christopher Lloyd. And if anyone can write miscommunication it’s Doc Brown.

What Could Have Been Better:

Look, I know that Jess has a tendency to meddle, but I find it hard to believe that CeCe just can’t trust her with the knowledge that she’s still in love with Schmidt. (And yes, it only takes one episode for CeCe to tell Jess, but I just don’t see two long-time BFFs not sharing something like that. I mean, I text my BFF what I have for breakfast and she lives 200 miles away. *sniffle*)

Ew, Fawn. She’s almost as bad as that Whatshername that Nick dated, the slothful couch-dweller. But again, she’s just a distraction until Schmidt and CeCe can get back together. Just like Ryan was a filler until Nick and Jess get back together (because they are getting back together and I refuse to think otherwise). And just like this episode was a bottle until we can get back to business. Sparks of humor and wit, but come on – Nick spends the whole episode making sauce that she says tastes like the inside of a bear? And that’s a compliment? Go home, Fawn, you’re drunk.

Fawn

What I’m Looking Forward To:

Schmidt and CeCe and Jess and Nick and all the feels we’ll feel when they finally reunite. Also, possibly more spider appearances because I like seeing Schmidt turning in circles looking for the tiniest spider ever, like a dog chasing his tail. (Metaphor? *cue disaster music*)

Girls, Season 4, Episode 7 – “Ask Me My Name”

Shandle Blaha

What I loved:

I surprisingly liked Teacher Hannah. She seemed comfortable and confident and the students seemed engaged. I didn’t expect that. I also love the dialogue between her and Elijah. It just seems so natural and funny. I’m not quite sure what a beaver trap is, but Mimi Rose totally looks like the type to lay one out. I enjoyed seeing Hannah and Mimi interacting together. I think if Jessa hadn’t hooked Mimi up with Adam, she and Hannah could’ve been friends. I liked that Hannah was grown up enough to tell Adam she liked Mimi, too.

Girls HBO Ask Me My Name_Hannah and Adam

What could’ve been better:

Poor Fran. I liked you buddy. I’m sorry you got sucked into Hannah’s drama. The yellow tooth brush: why? Jessa set up Mimi and Adam so she could get Ace?! Dammit Jessa, you are making it really hard to like you this season.

What I’m looking forward to:

Seeing Hannah teach some more and Fran. I am glad Fran is going to be back.

Best lines:

“The show was perfect. It was Beyonce to me.” – Hannah

“I think it’s so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves and our own lives that we just completely lose our empathy. We don’t want to get to know other people. And I get it, it’s easier to not ask and not tell. It’s easier to not know someone’s name.” – Mimi Rose

Downton Abbey, Season 5, Episode 9 – “A Moorland Holiday”

Shandle Blaha & Frances O’Brien

What we loved:

Everything?! This finale gave us everything we wanted and even some things we didn’t know we wanted. It was a masterpiece:

– We loved learning more about Anna’s past. She is such a strong woman.
– Mary’s new love interest. We hope this is The One for her. And that other fellow seemed keen on Edith. Many they’ll both finally get their happily ever after.
– Tom using his skills for good to knock Stole down a peg.
– The truth about Marigold and everyone being supportive of Edith.
– Rose saving Lord Sinderby from embarrassment when his mistress shows up. We love what Robert told him about Rose after “She’ll love you forever if you’ll let her.”
– Mosely and Mrs. Baxter and what they did for Bates and Anna.
– #Brothgate was hilarious.
– We think Rose is going to love America. We would love to see more of her story there.
– That little Monty Python-esque moment with Lord Grantham…”Everyone! I’m not going to die from a heart attack. It’s just an ulcer!” And everyone’s like “Hurray!” and then carrying on with the evening. Too funny!
– Edith, Tom, and Mary taking that moment for Sybil, the first of many tears.
– Lord Grantham getting drunk at the Christmas party and Tom stopping him from embarrassing himself.
– Finally, we know the story of Violet and her Russian prince, and her motivations behind wanting to save his princess.
– Loved the dark and naughty past of the Dowager! That conversation between her and Isobel close to the end of the episode had us laughing out loud! “I never risked that much again, no.” And Isobel’s like, “Um that’s not what I asked.” And Violet said, “Well that’s all I’m going to tell you!” LOVED IT! Classic Dowager!
– Carson and Mrs. Hughes getting engaged! Carson saying he wanted to be stuck with her made me cry happy tears. They are so adorable.
– ANNA AND BATES! A HAPPY ENDING! I really hope that whole Mr. Green nonsense is finally done with.

Downton Abbey Christmas Special Carson and Mrs Hughes

What could’ve been better:

We are so sad Tom is leaving, but we’re crossing our fingers for a spin off show of his adventures in Boston. Or even with Rose in New York!

What we’re looking forward to:

Shandle: Rumor has it the next season is the last one. I will be so sad, but I want it to go out on top.
Frances: Season 6! It also will be Dame Maggie Smith’s last season so Mr. Fellowes: I’m counting on you!

Shit The Dowager Says:

“Never complain, never explain.”

“The presence of strangers is our only guarantee of good behavior.”

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