My dad is notorious for never knowing what things are actually called… One time he asked us how he can post something for sale on Doug’s Corner. He meant Craigslist #DadQuotes
— Miranda Villei Stepp (@MirandaVillei) June 12, 2019
My dad always says to me- “it’s better to have hope in your soul than soap in your hole” 😂 #DadQuotes
— Emily Thomas (@emilymichelle_t) June 12, 2019
One time my dad sent me a text with these emojis, “💩🐻” I thought he was trying to call me Pooh Bear. When I saw him later though he made sure to correct me, “NO, I was calling you a shit head!” #DadQuotes
— Aubrey West (@AubreyLWest95) June 12, 2019
When someone asks my dad what he thinks about anything, he says “Well, a big bowl of flour makes a great big biscuit.” #DadQuotes
— Living Out Of Context (@context_living) June 12, 2019
#DadQuotes as a kid, if someone didn’t move at a green light he would always shout “which shade of green are you waiting on?”
— David Wantroba (@Dig4Wax) June 12, 2019
Sitting on the couch watching TV with my dad, and he’d (regularly) say, “Hey, you want a drink?” “Yeah, sure!” “Great, get me one while you’re up.” #DadQuotes
— Tracy Simek (@TracySimek) June 12, 2019
#DadQuotes My dad got stuck between two of his go-to phrases, “Good grief” and “Oh, bologna,” and said “Good bologna” in an irritated voice one day. Instant classic.
— Melissa Kennedy (@ZuZuToo3) June 12, 2019
#DadQuotes When I was is my early 20’s, I was dating a very controlling narcissist. When I vented to my Dad about the insane stuff this guy did, he told me “no one needs two a$$holes.” Indeed not!
— Kim Pacy (@PacyKim) June 12, 2019
I called my dad one time and said “hi dad!” He replied “who is this?”
I’m an only child. #DadQuotes
— Christine Bennett (@christinemben) June 12, 2019
This morning my dad said “all inclusive” when trying to tell me we had everything bagels. From now on I shall refer to and only order “all inclusive bagels”. #dadquotes
— Alexandra Veintidós (@alex_andra22) June 11, 2019
#Dadquotes “Just got home. Sitting on the pot. I tell it like it is.” Thanks for the update, Dad. 🚽🧻 pic.twitter.com/Wzf1iDqLUv
— Becky (@bexican75) June 12, 2019
Dad: you need a shave
Me: you need some just for men in that gray ass goatee
Dad: you need two razors for both of your chins😂😂 casual FaceTime calls with Jeff #shitjeffsays #dadquotes
— Baum.com (@brettjb13) December 11, 2018
“This Apple Watch needs a grass cutting workout mode so it can more accurately count my calories.” #DadQuotes
— Matt Cavanagh (@fortmattcav) June 11, 2018
My dad just said that he wanted to make some kind of Dirty martini/Moscow Mule hybrid so he could call it a dirty ass 😂😂 #DadQuotes
— Sami Stoltenberg (@SamiShe_Rex) November 23, 2017
My dad thinks there’s one male artist who sings both ‘Baby’ and ‘SexyBack.’ He calls him, “Justin Bieberlake” #DadQuotes
— Mackenzie Nelson (@nelsonmackenzie) June 15, 2017
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