*bathroom stall door opens slowly
Them: You’ve been away from your desk all day
Can I drink my wine in private, fucker?
— Wine Honey™ (@Wine_Honey1) May 25, 2017
How many wine gums before you get alcohol poisoning because I’ve had 312 and my face is tingling
— Not Quite Alex (@leahloveslovely) May 25, 2017
I just bought flowers and wine. The cashier asked if I was going on a date but nah dude, this is all for me, I super I love myself
— Clementine vonRadics (@Clementinevr) May 25, 2017
I found myself drinking a glass of wine every day. I know doctors say you should drink a glass and a half, but I just can’t drink that much. pic.twitter.com/b8NhDBwnNv
— The Simpsons (@Simpsons_tweets) May 25, 2017
I pray that the plan God has for me involves a lot of puppies and a lot of wine.
— PrettyInPink (@kcatwalk1) May 25, 2017
All I’m saying is if that little bitch Dora the Explorer can find random shit in a tree, so can I.
*gets stuck in tree looking for wine
— Wine Honey™ (@Wine_Honey1) May 24, 2017
Sticking the wine in the freezer 2 minutes before dinner because you forgot to put it in the fridge…. #BritishThreatLevels
— Rebecca Stubbs (@BecStubbs13) May 24, 2017
— Kelli McCracken (@Kelli_McCracken) May 24, 2017
I think instead of saying “best served chilled,” wine bottles should say “best served when you want to chill.”
— Darla (@ddsmidt) May 23, 2017
Love is the greatest feeling in the world but wine makes me feel pretty great too.
— kelsey darragh (@kelseydarragh) May 21, 2017
When I’m angry, I count to ten glasses of wine.
— кєℓℓαℓєηα (@topaz_kell) May 23, 2017
— Once Upon A Wine ®™ (@onceuponawine_) May 24, 2017
They say a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, I found that a box full of wine works just as well.
— The Robfather™ (@thatUPSdude) May 22, 2017
Welcome to Twitter! If you aren’t already following a mother who drinks wine, one will be assigned to you.
— Daddyness Blog (@Daddynessblog) May 22, 2017
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. -Benjamin Franklin
— Famous Quotes (@experiencedquot) May 21, 2017