Welcome to your 40s, you now enjoy tonic water.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s)🎭 (@3sunzzz) March 20, 2018
Welcome to your 40s you have to sit on the floor to put socks on.
— Sardonic Tart 🇮🇹 (@SardonicTart) March 19, 2018
Welcome to your 40s. You buy household appliances for fun now
— Stephen Lee🇺🇸 (@shopkins776) March 21, 2018
Me in my 20’s:
I don’t want to leave the house if my Victoria’s Secret bra doesn’t match my thong.
Me in my 40’s:
I don’t want to leave the house.
— Annie the Nanny (@AnnietheNanny1) March 20, 2018
Welcome to your 40s. You now refer to professional athletes as “kids.”
— Lloyd Rang (@lloydrang) March 22, 2018
20s: Pay for drinks with change found between the couch cushions.
40s: Pay for drinks with the rebate card we got with the new furnace.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 16, 2018
Afrin, Kleenex, heating pad, water bottle, fan, lightweight Afghan.
Accessorizing for naps in your 40’s.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) March 12, 2018
20’s: These shoes are so cute, & I don’t care that they kill my feet!
30’s: I resent these shoes, but I’m trying get laid, so…
40’s: I refuse to wear shoes that hurt & I can get laid with or without heels.
50’s: I will wear house-shoes everywhere & if you touch me you die.
— TexasTammers (@texastammers) March 12, 2018
I was just thinking about how fun it is to swear. I’m glad I was raised to think certain words were terrible & I was never to say them, because I’m in my 40’s and I’m still happy every single time I gratuitously throw the word fuck into a sentence.
— Valerieblaise (@Valerieblaise) March 12, 2018
Doctor: “You’re going to die. Great news though, you can fix it if you just stop eating, drinking and doing everything fun forever.”
– Every doctor appointment in your forties
— Christos Gage (@Christosgage) March 20, 2018
If you walk into your pantry looking for lunch, and the only thing open is a bag of chocolate chips, don’t fight it.
Microwaving anything is exhausting in your 40s.
— Ginger Snapped ❤ (@katy_fit) March 16, 2018
Actual quote from my 84yo mother this morning. “You and your brother need to quit calling each other ‘butthole’. You’re in your 40s.”
— Bird (@becabird) March 16, 2018
Dad tried to warn me nose hair would become an issue in my 40s, but I didn’t listen.
Now it looks like I have a primary mustache and a secondary mustache, and the secondary mustache looks like it’s trying to escape my face when I sneeze.
— Very Unstable Genius (@TheRealDCF) March 12, 2018
Currently at the gym and this dad in probably his late 40s just showed up to lift in socks and sandals
— Mark Skelley (@Mark_Skelley) March 12, 2018
The only real difference between my 20s and my 40s is that now I make all my bad decisions before 10pm.
— Kary Newsome (@karynewsome) March 22, 2018