Tweet Roundup | This Week’s Funniest Tweets About Coffee

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Everything about today is chill but I think it’s my coffee talking

— Chelsey (@chelseyamaro) May 24, 2016

You were my cup of tea but I drink coffee now pic.twitter.com/qz2NupbkVG

— PHI (@phiphibb) May 24, 2016

I can’t decide if I need an XL coffee, a hug, 8 shots of vodka, 826 chicken nuggets, or 2 months of sleep.

— JENNA MARBLES! (@ItsJennaMarbles) May 24, 2016

The guy who works at ur local coffee shop pic.twitter.com/7QUKBOiET2

— Doug The Pug (@itsdougthepug) May 24, 2016

My travel mug is just putting a straw into the coffee pot and walking away with it.

— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) May 24, 2016

My one year old dances every time I grind coffee beans. I wonder if this is her introduction to industrial music. pic.twitter.com/lz1alfp15S

— Justin Pierre (@jcpmcs) May 24, 2016

There’s not enough coffee in the world to make me comfortable with being awake right now.

— Nash Nashy (@NASHterpiece) May 24, 2016

She ran out of coffee. #5WordEulogy

— Bossy Pants Media (@BossyPantsMedia) May 23, 2016

“I finally know what it’s like to lose a loved one.” I whisper pouring out extra coffee as everyone’s idea of “Room for cream” is different.

— Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47) May 23, 2016

Blessed coffee,

Hallowed be thy beans.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.

Deliver me from wanting to do a murder.

Amen.

— Heather Hogan (@hhoagie) May 23, 2016

If my house was on fire, the THING I’d definitely pick up first?
My coffee mug.
That stuff is more important than my birth certificate.

— Sorabh Pant (@hankypanty) May 23, 2016

It's hard for me to listen to people talk about the so-called "tragedies" in their lives after the barista put too much milk in my coffee.

— Stephen Fishbach (@stephenfishbach) May 22, 2016

“I’ll marry a person who knows how I take my tea, coffee, and alcohol, and knows when to make which.”

— Relatable Poems (@itslifethought) May 22, 2016

Oh please, like you've never had coffee and pizza for breakfast before.

— oh please (@ohpeetie) May 22, 2016

It's funny when people say, "Good for you" when I tell them I don't drink coffee, as if I don't drink enough vodka to kill a small horse.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 22, 2016

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