Me: [spitting out salad] What is this?!
Waiter: The Italian dressing you asked for?
Me: Commoner dressing?! I wanted Caesar!
— Pats A’ Tweetin OGV (@PatsATweetin) September 18, 2019
ME: It’s time to finally eat healthy while I’m overseas
DFAC: It is Wing Day, my dudes
ME: Life is fleeting and must be enjoyed, LOAD UP MY TO GO PLATE BRO
— Tora Bora Tom (@TomHeartsTanks) September 18, 2019
When you try to be healthy so you get a plate for the salad bar. pic.twitter.com/RhSp7MXIpR
— Chupacabra (@chvpacabrah) September 18, 2019
Finally a salad I could stomach. pic.twitter.com/9Hv2zUMtmR
— Miles Benz (@benz_miles) September 18, 2019
Never fuck with someone who’s eating a salad with no dressing.
— Our Lady of Shipwrecked Souls (@miss_propriety) September 18, 2019
when I order the side salad instead of fries pic.twitter.com/JU7X7nYRd8
— ♀️ (@kadyrabbit) September 18, 2019
Did I eat the boring salad I brought for lunch? No. Did I buy pizza instead? Yes. Was the pizza satisfying and comforting? Yes. Do I regret eating said pizza cuz that was so many carbs and fat for my body? Yes. pic.twitter.com/bI8xSMtgtS
— Billy Porter stan account️ (@titusstwin) September 17, 2019
Me: i’m gonna eat healthy!
Also me: pic.twitter.com/wLhjYbT0q3
— (@joelaavdiu) September 17, 2019
Me: I should eat healthy.
Me *20 minutes later*: pic.twitter.com/pgXjguOZmG
— Father Nood Friendship 2020 (@FatherNood) September 17, 2019
Trying to fall asleep after eating healthy today and I just want fried Mac & cheese bites and Toblerone pic.twitter.com/iUVdyRgVMH
— ice cream hole (@icecreamhole) September 17, 2019
Not a single soul:
Me on Mondays: I’m going to eat healthy from today.
— ayesha jeewa (@jeewa_ayesha) September 16, 2019
ME : I’M GOING TO START EATING HEALTHY ……….. pic.twitter.com/sNIhDamfHS
— MICKS DAILY PICS 4U (@ganseylad) September 16, 2019
* deciding to eat healthy food *
Me at 3 am at the same day pic.twitter.com/xEiANaU0l2
— MARIEM (@mariemmo7sen) September 13, 2019
“Can I substitute fries for a salad?”
— Mari Indigo (@mari_indigo) September 13, 2019
I had a kale salad for lunch. If I’m not going to be having sex anyway, I might as well be really sad.
— Karanado (@thistletat13) September 11, 2019