[God creating cat]
God: make it furry, sees at night, makes cute sound when it’s happy
Angel: sounds like a good pet.
God: and shits in a box]
Angel: little odd, but cleanliness is next to Go…
God: and hates things on counters. #original
— Troy Fatout (@teeroy99) February 5, 2019
[God creating the Ocean]
God: Just put water everywhere 💧
Angel: Nice! When they are thirsty they can…
God: ..Make it undrinkable 🌚
— UGLIEST FINE DADDY †🕊 (@skizyman) February 7, 2019
god [creating the grapefruit]: another citrus
angel: like a lime?
a: a lemon?
a: an orange?
g: i said bigger
a: sweeter too?
g: no like battery acid and sharts
a: poison so they don’t eat it?
g: no make it the healthiest one
— Kellen Degenerate🎙 (@kellenbrent) February 9, 2019
god creating me and adding fat pic.twitter.com/ncfXMHVaWJ
— emma ♡ (@problemathicccc) February 9, 2019
God: Make then highly beneficial to the ecosystem
Angel: Sure thing, boss
God: Give them the greatest knees of all time
— Krispy Memes Boi (@memes_krispy) February 5, 2019
God: Make them tiny and fragile and defenseless, with weak immune systems.
Angel: Um OK …
God: And make it their first instinct to put their mouths on shopping carts.
— Patches (@Mostly_Cheese) February 3, 2019
God (creating reindeer): I’m going to make them look like weird cows with trees on their heads.
Angel: What about the power of flight?
God: Not a chance, but feel free to start a rumour.
— Oonagh (@Okeating) December 9, 2018
*god creating me*
God: and make him look like this *shows picture*
Angel: wow.. that’s kind of mean… can we at least give him a good personality?
— Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) December 5, 2018
[creating the scrotum]
God: Just think of it as a couple of avocado pits rolling around in a hairy, semi-deflated balloon.
Angel: Is there any way I can get moved to another department?
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) November 19, 2018
God: a brain, so they’ll be able to make smart and rational decisions.
God: and a heart, so they can fall in love with each other.
Angel: ok..and they’ll be able to use both at the same time right?
God: lmao oh hell no
— Spanky McDutcherson 🔸 (@thatdutchperson) February 8, 2019
God Creating Hamsters:
Angel: We’re out of material.
God: Hold on… *pulls some lint out of his pocket* Make this alive.
God: Make it adorable so everyone wants five.
Angel: Got it.
God: But they hate each other and they kill each other on sight.
— Reece Bridger (@Reece_Bridger) February 11, 2019
[god creating the kiwi]
God: I want a bird.
Angel: ok…. another one?
God: this one is special.
Make it brown. And small.
God: and give it a really big nose.
And it can’t fly.
— Andrew Johnson (@mrandrewhj) February 9, 2019
god creating black holes pic.twitter.com/QSNAoZVAQv
— micah ♡ (@MICAHKEALE) February 11, 2019
God: Make them angry, and with unlimited stings, unlike those useless bees.
Angel: That sounds dangerous
God: There needs to be 20,000…
Angel: oH NO
God: …different species
Angel: Are you feeling okay?
God: Make some of them parasitic.
— Johnny Dady (@lovin44music) February 10, 2019
[God Creating Chickens]
God: I want two things
1. Worlds best tasting bird
2. People to wonder why it crossed the road
— Notsofunny (@Notsofu14392964) February 10, 2019