Fondly remembering those naive early quarantine days, when we had an aggressive kid schedule mapped out for each day. Now it’s just “take the iPad and two pounds of crackers and go to the the basement until bedtime.”
— Matthew Miller (@matthewamiller) April 21, 2020
Me friends: my children are making use of quarantine by memorizing the constitution
Me: my kids are making use of quarantine by rewriting “Prince Ali” from Aladdin so that it’s about gross bodily functions and singing it incessantly
— Sabaa Tahir (@sabaatahir) April 25, 2020
When my grandkids (optimistic) will ask me what I did during the great quarantine of 2020, I will answer- mainly dishes kids, mainly dishes
— Roy Ben-Tzvi (@Roy_Bntz) April 23, 2020
That awkward moment when you ask your kid to take out the trash and they find that underneath the top paper is every quarantine drawing they ever made.
— Annie the Nanny (@AnnietheNanny1) April 21, 2020
Well, I just gave my kid an *extremely* ill-advised bang trim, so cross *that* one off the old quarantine BINGO card. pic.twitter.com/Rp1tjgiRfy
— Dr. Michelle Au (@AuforGA) April 19, 2020
I’m very irritated with my husband during this quarantine. It’s not that I don’t like being around him, in fact I enjoy it. It’s those two kids he put in me that ask for snacks every 3 minutes that are driving me crazy.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 18, 2020
Both kids on the verge of a meltdown, so we decided to have a sleepover in the living room, list the things we hate about quarantine and shout POOP at the top of our lungs after each one. Everyone is now laughing and tucked in and a new game is born.
— Alison Chandra (@aliranger29) April 18, 2020
Kidnapper: 25,000 by this Sunday if you want to see your kids again.
Me: how about 40,000 and you keep them til next weekend?
— Daveastated (@Daveastated) April 17, 2020
Day 583847474 of quarantine:
Making the kids watch the labyrinth.
Maybe when I call for the goblin king it will mean something next time.
— Kathleen (@sweatsntopknots) April 17, 2020
Husband last year: What do you mean she’s “mean” to you? She’s 2. They’re kids. It shouldn’t hurt your feelings.
Husband during quarantine: *crying into gallon of ice cream* I just don’t know why she’d say that to me? And she just screams at me all the time.
Welcome to my world
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) April 17, 2020
In case you’re feeling concerned about your kid’s screen time, just know that we reached the screen time overload portion of quarantine where my 4yo asked me if I could “turn off the sun for a few minutes” because it was too bright on his eyes.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) April 16, 2020
Me: *prepares 8746790th meal in quarantine* ok kids it’s green lentil banana bread sandwich with a side of cheesy cornflakes, enjoy
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) April 14, 2020
Today I taught my kids shapes, cleaned the house, made healthy meals and took my kids to the park.
Just kidding, they ate a bunch of snacks, watched their tablets all day and I survived another day of Quarantine.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) April 14, 2020
Day 87 of Quarantine:
Okay kids, if you bounce the ping pong ball into the cup, you have to chug the apple juice
— Brian Wilson (@bayouwilson) April 14, 2020
Fact: the batteries in your kids loud toys last four times as long when you’re in quarantine.
— Jan·da·līze (@Jandalize) April 13, 2020