My wife is having her 1st girls night tonight since before she was pregnant w/our twins (31 months ago)
It’s well deserved & I hope she has a great time
I did get a bit concernrd though when she asked me if our nice luggage was still in the attic…
And where her passport was
— Shaun (@Shaundsmith80) August 8, 2018
What’s it like having twins? pic.twitter.com/2T6hPCjKVc
— John Moran (@jcmoran05) August 4, 2018
My coworker is having twins and here are all my GREAT name suggestions she’s rejected this morning:
Pride & Prejudice
Milo & Otis
Poliwag & Poliwhirl
Sense & Sensibility
Pythagoras & Pi
Polly & Pocket
Privacy & Policy
Pip & Pip
— Alex Richmontague (@alexikakon) August 8, 2018
Once upon a time it was just the one person in this house who’d get unjustifiably furious at me when she got hungry, then something possessed me to add two more on top of The Wife.#parenting#dadlife#twins
— New Dad Who Dis (@DadRealizes) August 6, 2018
Me to other 2yo: “Get off your sister’s head!!!”
— Kate (@ScattyMumofFour) August 4, 2018
My boss, who has twins, giving me parenting advice:
“For the first 2 years, think of them as dogs – train them and give them treats accordingly”
— ѕнannon💫 (@shann0n1x) August 2, 2018
I’m a mum to identical twins and I can regularly tell them apart until I’m in another room and a wee voice calls out ‘MAMMY?’
So I ask ‘Who is looking for me?’
And they just reply ‘Me.’ #parenting #twins
— TwistedDoodles (@twisteddoodles) August 2, 2018
One of the twins is repeatedly (intentionally) breaking his toy, then bringing it to me and demanding I “fic it.”
Parenting in a nutshell.
— jen (@makeshiftjen) August 7, 2018
“Mom we’re gonna go play in the basement”
“Idc what you do just no drugs or dueling unless banjos are involved.”
— Lenamarie cusato (@lenamarie416) July 30, 2018
Going out with twins is a totally different level of parenting. And the questions…can they hear themselves?!
— mimi (@mimi78) August 3, 2018
One of the coolest things about being a twin parent is that you and your spouse develop the ability to communicate telepathically about who is going to run after which child when they suddenly run in opposite directions in public places. #superpower #parenting #twins
— mommyoftwo (@twinningmama) July 30, 2018
Miracle in Costco:
Judgemental lady: Ugh. Are you buying FORMULA so you can drink all that WINE?
*Looks at crying twins, stacks of groceries, and sleep deprived tearful wife*
Random stranger: *to me* I got this, bro. *To her* Go fuck yourself.#faithrestored
— Grumpy Twin Dad (@DadisGrumpy) July 31, 2018
The twins walked around with a single raw green bean for most of the morning on Sunday. At one point it was in the shower.
— twinzoo (@twinzoo3) July 30, 2018
One of my favorite things about having twins is getting to watch two tiny humans violently argue over an item while an identical version of the same item sits unplayed with 3 feet away. #Dadlife #Parenting
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) June 23, 2018
When parenting twins, you both just grab a kid and change and feed whomever you pick up.
Husband: Ugh! Shitty diaper!
*later in the day*
Hus: Ugh! Shitty diaper!
Me: Ha ha! You’ve lost the shit lottery twice today!
Hus: This is why I don’t gamble.
— Miz Parker (@mizpahka) August 6, 2018