If I ever win the lottery I’m buying all of my twitter followers a pet millipede whether they want one or not
— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) June 11, 2018
If I win the lottery I’m gonna park in so many parking garages.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) June 9, 2018
If I win the lottery I am buying a pack of wolves
— nick wrenn (@birdman_wrenn) June 7, 2018
Probably going to win the lottery tonight.
And just so you know, money is gonna change me.
The Dollarama jokes will turn into much classier Dollarama jokes.
— Sooz (@CruisinSoozan) June 9, 2018
*wins the lottery*
*buys a 2001 Honda civic*
— Dire Wolf (@ADDiane) June 5, 2018
Heather won the lottery, so we decided to go crazy and spend it all in one place pic.twitter.com/BcDiCgp49f
— 🌈Professor SWILUA (@Swilua) June 10, 2018
If I don’t win the lottery by next year I’m getting myself a sugar mama, I can’t live like this anymore.
— Virgin John (@Malual13012) June 12, 2018
First purchase I make if I win the lottery is a dippin dots freezer, bet
— chase (@Chase_Everett_) June 12, 2018
You are 50 times more likely to be killed by bees than win the lottery. With my luck bees would kill me after winning the lottery.
— Jim McCue (@JimMcCue) June 4, 2018
do y’all ever see the lottery signs on the highway and start day dreaming about what to do when you win?…but yet have never bought a lottery ticket in your life bc same
— geoff odoi (@geoffmodoi) June 3, 2018
If i ever win the lottery, I wouldn’t tell anyone. But you’d know. pic.twitter.com/0TixGz1CNq
— Daniel (@DannyDutch) May 25, 2018
I might go for a run today.
— John Hunter (@redrogue70) June 2, 2018
I told my baby, “When I win the lottery, I’m going to have so many outfits, I’ll need a separate room for them!” She said, “No, you won’t. You’ll still wait for sales.” She’s not wrong.
— Just Angi #Resist (@AngelaStalling9) June 2, 2018
If I win the lottery I’m going to pay off my students loans and use the leftover change to buy a loaded taco from Taco Bell. – U of Akron
— Party Life (@LifeAsParty) May 28, 2018
if i ever win the lottery, i’m adopting everyone i know a dog. you can’t keep the dog? cool. i’m getting a huge farm & you can come visit your dog there. all the dogs. i’m snatching them up & they are gonna be happy forever.
— shinnemak hills (@bigmakball) May 26, 2018