My doctor: have you had any episodes this month
Me in my bed: pic.twitter.com/31w0Z8mt1x
— pikkuleipiä tässä tilanteessa? no ehkä yksi. (@davelystr) May 15, 2019
Me: “I have acid reflux”
My doctor: “stop drinking alcohol and coffee. Also stop eating spicy food”
— my pussy HORCHATA 🤪 (@GailTheGossip) May 15, 2019
In the summer of 2018, my Doctor prescribed me sleeping pills to help with my insomnia.
I still lie awake thinking about that.
— The Hotdog Dog🌭 (@BunsOnDogs) May 14, 2019
Me: lol yeah im depressed haha🤪😂😜
My doctor: you’re depressed
— Grey Worm’s revenge (@you_LOVEbree) May 15, 2019
I’m concerned about weekly weigh ins with my doctor but not so concerned that I won’t eat a giant chocolate muffin right before my appointment pic.twitter.com/ZUgxd53hA8
— Christine (@Chris_Vivier) May 15, 2019
*wonders if I can get my doctor to write a prescription for a emotional support puppy*
— Lilly (@misslillytoyou) May 8, 2019
at what age will i stop looking at my mom when my doctor asks me questions??
— aud (@audaustermiller) May 13, 2019
Please pray for me, as my helath has degraded to the point that I need a walking stick to get by, and my doctor is still working on figuring out my diagnosis.
On the bright side, I picked out a walking stick that looks like it belongs to a wizard or a shaman. pic.twitter.com/DEBioJpnTG
— Helen Claire Dymphna☔️ (@HelenYourMind) May 14, 2019
My doctor is one of those people who is never happy. Today she said she was really unhappy that I am drinking even more than I was before.
But our last visit she said she wasn’t impressed by the amount of alcohol I drink so I just don’t know…
— …Jusƚ Sorƚ of RoƚƚinG (@HardlyUnDead) May 9, 2019
My doctor: don’t eat any spicy food until a few days after your surgery bc it will upset your surgery zone
Me: I am definitely smarter than this doctor I will do whatever I want >:)
Me, in great pain, immediately afterword: pic.twitter.com/ag0yBRyWHQ
— dan guy #1 (@ginger_ale_dan) May 10, 2019
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
— Davvyd Moore (@davvydmoore) May 10, 2019
My doctor: You should reduce your caffeine intake, it may help with your panic attacks.
— Spider Marge 🕷🕸 (@Avacadogirrrl) May 6, 2019
My doctor has prescribed me anti-gloating ointment. I can’t wait to rub it in
— John (@JFD1960) May 5, 2019
My Doctor told me to lose weight and suggested I eat like a rabbit. Hopefully rabbits eat peanut butter & jelly sandwiches at 2am.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) May 3, 2019
Doctor: You need to lower your blood pressure.
Me: Kids, my doctor says you need to all move out.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) May 3, 2019